Newly single- no parenting plan in place yet, not married, ex wants to leave out of state in a...

[momma_monkey]

ex says he 'needs to clear his head' and he wants to go back to his parents house in a different state.  He says he will only be gone for a few days (3-4).  Our son is 4 years old.  It isn't the time frame that bothers me, it is that we haven't established anything in the courts.  How easy is it for him to just "steal" him away to a different state and not come back?  Ex has a job that is work from home so he can work in any state... 

I am FREAKED out!!  I haven't even moved out of our shared house yet-- that will happen in a couple of days...

Thanks!

[bananabee]

Do not give him an opportunity to take your son. I don't know how it works when you're not married, but my ex said he was planning to do that while we were still considered married the week after I called my lawyer and asked her to file for divorce. At that point, there would have been nothing I could have done.He later told me he was waiting for me to go to the bathroom. I had a really bad feeling that he might take her, so I didn't leave her alone for a second. I didn't have a lock on my bedroom door, so I blocked the door with some boxes so he couldn't take her while I was sleeping. I'm so glad I did. Be careful. Talk to a lawyer about this. See if they can write something up that says no one can take him out of your county.

[soso-lynn]

No way. He can go clear his head without your child.

[NolaRiordan]

Don't do it. If he takes your kid and decides not to come back you will have to file a court order to get him back. With nothing filed in the court at this point you have no protection and could have a very long and very expensive court fight on your hands.

[meemee]

who is going to watch his son while he clears his head.

i am glad he has a place to go to where he CAN take care of himself. 

has he brought up in conversation that he wants to take DS?

talk to him gently and kindly and let him know you support him taking care of himself. for now its best he just focus on himself. 

[Super~Single~Mama]

If he is on the BC, then he has just as much right to the child that you do.  Have you filed for custody?  Do it now.  Go to the courthouse tomorrow and file - you do not need a lawyer to file the initial paperwork.  Ask the judge to order that your ds is not to leave the state pending an adjourn date.  Seriously.  If he decides not to come back, getting your ds back will be very very difficult.  It is NOT parental kidnapping until there is a Custody Order signed by a JUDGE.

ETA - forgot to mention that POSSESSION of the child is 9/10's of custody determinations.  DO NOT LET HIM TAKE YOUR DS.