My dd is high needs, as defined by Dr. Sears, I guess. Very perceptive, verbal and smart. She has always been very attached. After the birth of my son 20 months ago (dd was 3.5). We didn't have terrible 2s or 3s. Although demanding energetically, she has always been a delightful person. Her personality changed after ds was born, and she became much more demanding and loud and seeking affirmation and attention from other people. I get this--competing with her brother, but recently, within the last 6 months, she's started freaking out completely out of proportion to the purported cause, and by the time the tantrum is done, the cause has changed to something else, usually, that me or her dad are not responding appropriately. (Sometimes that is true. Its frustrating!)
I've read a few threads here that some people say that is normal developmentally, and some people say there could be a problem that it is NOT normal. Its not normal for her...and it is so intense that I feel bad for her. She is completely out of control of her emotions and says often that once she gets started crying, sometimes she can't stop and doesn't know why. DH is fed up. It can be about socks--they are the wrong kind, or about her hair, its got a tangle, or about protecting her room from her brother. The screeching is unbearable. We aren't a yelling family, generally, so I'm thinking its just the only way that a little person can get their point across, but I'm not sure where to go from here. It doesn't seem like reasoning is going to impact when she can say she sees herself out of control sometimes and has no dominion.
There are possible environmental factors too numerous to name, but just trying to get a baseline...is 5 an age known for this kind of thing or what?