Coping with a child with ADD when you are NOT!

[meandmine]

Can someone direct me to the correct forum if this is not it?

My dd, almost 9, has ADD.  Her dad has it big time.

I probably have a mild form, but I was given lots of structure in my life so I am very structured.

I am not handling her school/piano work well:  She forgets work at school; she forgets to turn in completed work; she brings work home that should have gotten done at school; she fails to tell us about work that needs to be done; she does sloppy work; she doesn't practice all her piano pieces etc.

It becomes overwhelming to me in how many areas she is not completing work.

As a single woh mom I cannot police everything she does.  I cannot stand over the piano and check that she does every piece.  I can call from the kitchen while cooking dinner and say ... did  you do all your pieces and hope for an honest answer ... which apparently I am not getting.

I am scared for her future, her present, and am upset and embarrassed to be getting notes from her teacher, etc.  I feel inadequate because I do not have hours a day to go over her work, check her back pack etc.

Anyone have any coping strategies.  I don't want to be dragon lady, but this evening I got so upset.  It hasn't been fun for anyone in my house.

Thanks for ideas on how to respond in a positive way and how to help without micro-managing.

M

[LynnS6]

You might want to post over in the special needs forum -- there are a lot of parents who post there who are familiar with the struggles of dealing with atypcial kids, and of how do deal with the school system.

Is she on meds? (I know that meds are controversial and overprescribed, but if your child has ADD it can be appropriate.)

does she have a 504 plan with the school? That can help too.

[meandmine]

Thanks, Lynn! 

I will go check the other forum.

She does have a 504 plan, but these are her behaviors that only she can change.  

Otoh, *I* can change how *I* respond (less hysterical :-)) and that is an area I want to work on because I think if I respond more constructively, she will have a better chance of doing better herself.

Thanks again!

M