Single parent adoptions? (sorry kinda long)

[leighi123]

I am a single mom, I have a 3.5yr old ds, and have been divorced sense last summer (separated for a long time before that, sense ds was 15months).  Ds's dad has no involvment in his life, we havent seen him or talked to him in any way sense ds was 15months old, I have full custody, no child support - he basically 'dosent exist'

I really want more kids!  I LOVE being a mom, and ds really wants a sister (Im sure a brother would be just fine too though!).  I am 25yrs old, and I pretty much have no interest in getting in a realtionship/getting married etc. Besides, by the time I did all that I'd be closer to 30, and I'd rather have kids sooner rather than later... Adoption is something I've always wanted, pregnancy was NOT fun for me at all, but motherhood is awesome,  From the time I was little I always said I wanted to adopt kids, and pretty much everything I do/have done is kid related (I've always had jobs working with kids, all of my current friends are ds's friends parents that I hang around, Im the playgroups go-to babysitter.... ). 

At the moment, I live with my parents (both in their mid 50's), I am a college student working on a teaching degree, and I work only very part time, and I sew stuff to sell (which makes very little $), so I really dont have an actual income at the moment.  My parents have plenty of income, and support me and ds (and are happy to have us, we are happy to be living with them - we are a close family!)  So its a little strange because I dont make a lot of $ myself, but we live in a nice house, have medical insurance, access to a car, and everything we need.  

I am hoping to get a job with a good income once I graduate college (I'll have my AA in a few months, and a full degree a year or so after that), but I dont know if/when I will move out of my parents house.  Part of that is that I really want to homeschool ds, which my mom is happy to help with (she is a retired teacher), and that we dont really mind living here!  

So anyway - my questions

How hard is it to adopt when you are single?  I havent really looked into different types of adoption, although overseas adoption would be something I'd be interested in sense I grew up overseas!  I'm basically open to anything.  

Would adoption be possible in my situation now? (living with my parents, mostly off their income), or is it just crazy to even think about now.  My parents both keep asking me "when am I going to get Levi a sister?" and my dad has mentioned international adoption many times.  They had considered adoption when my sister and I were kids as well, just never ended up doing it because of all the work involved and not having time to do it.  I have plenty of time myself right now.  

When I graduate/get a full time job (hopefully), would it work then?  And would it make a difference if I was still living with my parents, or would it be better to be living on my own (living on my own I'd have to have a lot smaller house and would also have to buy a car, and less leftover $ for 'fun things', living with my parents I'd be able to have free childcare, $ for 'fun stuff' and $ to put into savings/college funds etc).  I do currently have savings for a down payment on a house which was an inheritance from my grandpa, but its not a whole lot.  

So will I ever be able to adopt?  

Sorry that got long, if you got through all of that, thank you!! 

[queenjane]

I'm single, and i've got four kids--one bio, one adopted, and two weeks (hopefully)away from adoption finalization. My three non-bio kids came from foster care.

I didnt find being single really an obstacle at all, its pretty common in adoption esp with foster care. My adoption worker was a single mom in fact. So that was pretty much a non issue, they may ask you about your resources for emotional support/childcare etc.

No matter what type of adoption you do, you will likely have to fill out some kind of worksheet or provide proof that your income meets your expenses. For me, this was just a really simple form, they didnt really verify the info or anything. I dont think that you actually living with your parents will be a huge issue, and may in fact be seen as a positive (built in support!) as long as they were on board with the adoption. With foster care adoption, they would probably be required to take the classes as well, i believe in many places all adults in the home have to. (Some agencies may just require they have a background check/fingerprinting...not sure.)

The bigger issue would be that you dont really have much of an income...they would explore that with you. You could always ask. They like to see a certain level of stability and what your back up plan is if your parents werent around, and that sort of thing.

Adoption was always a lifelong dream of mine, and my biggest regret is that i didnt do it sooner. I sooooo wish i would have added some kids when my son was 3-ish instead of waiting til he was 11 (started the waiting-to-be-matched when he was nearly 10), he is essentially an only child even with three sibs, since he missed out so many years on having a brother or sister, i think things would be different for him had he had a sibling all those growing up years. So i certainly get your desire to not wait.

[leighi123]

Thanks for all of the info, that gives me hope that this could happen for me at some point!  

From what I understand, the whole process takes a very long time, so I guess I will see what I can do to get started.  Hopefully when I graduate from college I'll be able to actually have an income which will help in any case.  In the mean time, I am working on expanding my home buisness (sewing and selling baby/kids stuff) to raise funds.  

I also need to talk with my parents more, because obviously they will have to be a big part of things.  

I suppose my next step is to do some more research, sense I havent yet looked into how everything works.   I have a neighbor who has several adopted children and has done fostering, she is a HUGE advocate for adoption/foster care (she even has green hair in support of something?), so I think she would be a good person to ask as well!  

[briannas auntie]

I too am interested in adopting while being single.  I am 29 and have no desire to marry right now, yet I want a child when I graduate college and have a job as a medical biller & coder.  I am on SSDI right now, due to a disability, but am working with Social Security with their readiness to work program.  This program allows disabled adults to have part time jobs, but still keep their medical insurance and some of their SSDI cash benefits (depending on how many hours you work).

I can't find much information on singles adopting, who are also disabled.  If anyone has info, let me know. 

Jessie

[briannas auntie]

Originally Posted by leighi123 

Thanks for all of the info, that gives me hope that this could happen for me at some point!  

From what I understand, the whole process takes a very long time, so I guess I will see what I can do to get started.  Hopefully when I graduate from college I'll be able to actually have an income which will help in any case.  In the mean time, I am working on expanding my home buisness (sewing and selling baby/kids stuff) to raise funds.  

I also need to talk with my parents more, because obviously they will have to be a big part of things.  

I suppose my next step is to do some more research, sense I havent yet looked into how everything works.   I have a neighbor who has several adopted children and has done fostering, she is a HUGE advocate for adoption/foster care (she even has green hair in support of something?), so I think she would be a good person to ask as well!  

I have seen a book on Amazon.com called "Adoption and the Single Parent".  I don't remember who the author is, but you might want to read that book for advice.  The reviews on it sound good. 

Jessie

 

[Polliwog]

It all depends on what type of disability you have and how it would affect you raising a child.