Adoption lawyer vs. agency for independent adoption

[rachie]

I might be meeting an expecting mom very soon who, though it's early, has decided she wants her baby to be adopted and may consider our family.  If she and the bio dad both are determined that this is their choice then would it be easiest for us all to go through a local attorney's office that specializes in adoption?  Or is it better to go through some type of agency - aren't agencies more for match-making and pregnancy counseling?  I plan to be very supportive of her if she changes her mind at any point so I will encourage her to have some counseling.  But thus far it sounds like she's determined to go through with it (we'll see - time may change that) - can she refuse the counseling (as far as emotions are concerned) and choose only to receive legal council (as in "you have a right to keep your baby or choose baby's adoptive family, etc..)?  Not that I want her to - quite the opposite as I'd rather know sooner than later if she has any doubts - but from what I'm hearing she just wants it simple - to choose the family and agree on level of openness and then finalize it - the bio dad has told her he's fine with her idea of adoption for the baby. 

It's all super new to me and so I'm just sort of trying to learn a bit about avenues, paperwork, procedures, etc...before we meet her and see if we are anything like what she has in mind.  I'm just praying for her - what a heart-wrenching decision/s before her.     

I just don't know what the first steps would be if she does choose us.

[MrsH]

Rachie, it's hard to give a straightforward answer because the laws governing adoption vary greatly state by state.  For example, after attaining a family attorney for our independent adoption, we eventually found out that all adoptions in our state need to go through an agency.  So your best bet would probably be to connect with a couple of family attorneys as well as a couple of agencies and ask each of them tons and tons of questions.  Many states also have laws around transparency, money that may or may not be exchanged between parties, and even laws governing open adoption agreements.  We also found out that in our state, agencies that work with Chidlren and Family Services have far more strict rules and processes than a private agency that does not hold contracts with CFS.  I would definitely recommend finding an experienced guide to support you through this, as it gets very complicated emotionally, lawfully, and ethically as well.  This isn't meant to discourage you, just an encouragement to really seek out tons of answers from the start so you can have a sense of what you're getting yourself into! 

All the best as you continue on this journey.