Originally Posted by sublimeliving
I'm not sure how being a stay-at-home mom has anything to do w/ retirement. I put money away yearly, just like my husband does. His income is for bettering everyone; just like me staying home is bettering everyone. I homeschool, and from that commitment on my part, my oldest dd has received academic scholarships to every college she applied to. I have my own retirement savings. I can't imagine not doing that. My name is on the house. I own my car outright.
I'm not sure how she can't cover her expenses (she needs to cut back). She should have been saving for retirement long before her boys were almost men. Why is her husband not helping w/ the kids' tuition? Why aren't the boys working to pay for their college tuition? Her kids are covered for health insurance by her ex. Hmm, this just doesn't make sense. Also, if she is really struggling financially, and her boys have excellent grades (and high ACT/SAT scores) then college tuition shouldn't be an issue.
If you are a stay-at-home mom and are not earning income, where do you get the money to put away yearly? How did you pay for your car outright? I'm guessing from your husband. You say your husband's income is for bettering everyone - the article's author does not have a husband. Her ex's income is not for "bettering everyone". Not everyone has been married a long time, with time to establish themselves financially, and even some who have been married a long time do not have a spouse who makes much money. I'm guessing you are able to make the commitment to home school because your husband is backing you financially, and that is somethng to be thankful for - just be aware that not everyone is in that situation. If he wasn't providing that income, would you be able to be a SAHM plus put away money for retirement, and buy a car and a house? Where exactly would all that money come from? Don't forget that even if you went to work, a good portion of that money would go to childcare, because if you're divorced, no one else is at home to watch the kids. Even if your kids went to school, there would still be before-school and after-school care, plus childcare for school vacations. Not all husbands are generous, and ex-husbands noticeably less so. And maybe you would be quite surprised what some divorced fathers get away with financially.
I am just curious, because I am divorced and like the article's author, do freelance writing and editorial work in an attempt to be present for my child. If there is some way I can approximate being a SAHM as WELL as make enough money not only to pay for my child's expenses, as well as buy myself a house, car and put away money for retirement, I honestly would love to hear about that. (Bear in mind that there are location restrictions I must mind, like many divorced parents, so that my child can regularly see his father - and so moving to a less expensive area or closer to my family are not options, and well-paying jobs in my town are nil; commuting to a better job would mean being gone each day from about 7am - 7pm). It is also interesting to note that I know a recently divorced mother in my town; she has three children and was a dedicated SAHM for all of them (two are teenagers now). She and her husband owned a house, everything seemed "storybook" - they got divorced a few months ago and let's just say that she is not as set as she thought. She and the three kids are in a tiny 2-br. apartment now, she is still paying off the legal fees, and it's mighty hard to get a good job off the ground when you still have three kids at home you take care of alone, never mind having been out of the work force all those years. If someone told her that on top of her current struggle, she "should be putting away money" and "cutting back on expenses", she would laugh in their face. Any SAHM mom who thinks she'd be doing as well as her husband financially, should she ever get divorced, is fooling herself. Ask anyone who's actually been there.
She is a divorced mom - I think it's easy to imagine how hard it is to cover expenses. Saying that she needs to cut back, without knowing anything about her spending habits, is puzzling.