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Article: Regrets of a SAHM. Thoughts? - Page 8

post #141 of 242
"Those of us who are SAHMs and think it *is* a good financial decision are explaining why our choices are different from hers and asking what she was doing with those 15 years to ensure a good life for her and her children now. Apparently not saving for retirement (yes, that has to come from a partner who is making the income if one is a SAH partner, and you have to agree on what to do with family finances in order to SAH in a financially smart way), nor for college funds for the children..."

Exactly. I don't want all women to SAH. I do expect the ones who do, at least that subset of us with the benefit of college degrees and enough household income to cover things beyond rent and groceries, to manage the household budget in an intelligent manner and protect our futures to the greatest extent possible from worst-case outcomes like death or divorce.

BUT. I am probably 20 years younger than this woman. There's been a whole lot of information disseminated between the time she started out as a SAHM and the time that I did. It makes no sense to judge her, but I can't help but be irritated by her victim spiel.
post #142 of 242


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by geekgolightly View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by ScottyG View Post

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Linda on the move View Post

The article is mostly is telling her story, and as such, I don't see that there's a lot to agree or disagree with. It's just how her life played out. The responses on this board have struck me as very odd, a lot of blaming, a lot of "it couldn't happen to me." 


I agree with this part, for sure.  She has told her story, and her feelings about how her life has gone are very true, and strong, and powerful.  Her story is a valid one, and one worth reading.

 

That said, though, she very explicitly sells us her story as a "cautionary tale" a warning to anyone thinking about being a SAH parent that they shouldn't do it.  And that's the part I disagree with.  Yes, her situation is awful, and I really feel for her.  And yes, being a SAH parent has big risks involved.  But so much of life is about taking big risks.  If she just said, "be aware that these are some risks if you choose to SAH" then I'd say, "Yes.  That's true."  But she frames those risks as a reason everyone should avoid being a SAH parent, and that's where I take issue.  I took the risk into account, and determined that the benefits for me far outweighed the risk.  That's how I operate in all parts of my life, and becoming a SAH parent was no different.


 

I am really glad she wrote it because it got me thinking a lot this week about how I can be a SAHM and still feel that I am not damaging my ability to get back in the work force when I want. I'm lucky I chose nursing (or was practical enough when I made the choice to be an RN) and I think I will probably further my education, go ahead and get my BSN and become a school nurse. Which isn't as lucrative but by the time this baby, due in May, is in Kindergarten, I can start a job where I will still be home when the kids are including summers and breaks. School nursing isn't my dream job, but I will enjoy caring for children. My dream job just isn't compatible with *me* having kids. Hats off to anyone who can work a high pressure profession, like critical care nursing so often is, and be a good mommy. I pretty much sucked at it.

 

My husband was looking forward to me staying at home, and who knows! Maybe I will for the rest of my days, but at least I was able to read this article and really start thinking about exactly what I was setting myself up for, and I now have some ideas I can execute when the time comes. I feel at peace. So, yeah, pretty thankful to Katy Read. And to everyone who posted here and to all the people, despite the vitriol who posted the letters to the editor, which i went through last night. Man, they were MEAN to her!

 

This is pretty much where I'm at. I'm also a nurse, and since graduation, I've flipped back and forth a few times between two related specialties- one very high stress, at least for me, and one that is not 100% my passion, but is still interesting and rewarding, and also *much* less stressful. I recently willingly gave up my benefits and cut my hours down to PRN status in order to make our lives less chaotic and focus on homeschooling more. The last night that I worked, I was floated back to my original unit, the lower stress one. Maybe I'm just burned out on the high stress unit, but it felt so right being in the low-stress area, that I decided I might start picking up shifts there again, and only work a couple shifts a month in the high-stress unit. I want to be a SAHM and still keep my foot in the door and keep my nursing skills up, and I really feel like I may have to switch back to my original unit in order to have this balance but still do a good job at work. I don't know that I can be a good neonatal nurse without working full-time- there are just so many skills to keep up on. But general (non-critical care) peds, yeah, that's doable as a per diem.

 

I too feel very lucky to be in a profession that probably allows more options for work-life balance than most.

post #143 of 242

GeekGoLightly,  I first wanted to say that you should talk to an attorney because in many states postnuptial agreements aren't really worth the expense of preparing them.  For various reasons mainly stemming from the attitude that Courts try to stay out of an intact marriage. However that being said, I think there are many great ways to protect yourself and I'm confused by this woman's lack of preparation.  I understand that for many, only one salary means that they must really skimp and save, but it doesn't sound like that is the case with her.  I've set up a 529 plan for my DS and I encourage EVERYONE to contribute to it in lieu of toys and other things that he doesn't need at birthdays and holidays.  (On a side note, my ILs also have a 529 plan for him that they maintain).  That money is his for college and DH and I don't touch it.  I also feel comforted because in case of a divorce (which I think is unlikely) DH can't take that money out (nor can I) the Court will protect it for DS.  So, there is DS's college fund.

 

I also quit a full time job that was not good paying for my field but was rock steady.  And I struggled with it for awhile, but ultimately, I made the decision I feel best about.  I work part time at 3 jobs (I'm an attorney, so I can really control how much or little I want to take on and I tutor on the side).  So, I keep my skills fresh and at any time I could up the number of clients I take on...I know not everyone can do this, so in that way I'm lucky, but it sounds like you are also in a pretty good field.  You can keep your skills up and segue back in if and when you want to.  The other thing I think is important is to make sure you are doing simple things to protect yourself.  For example, in most jurisdictions inheritances aren't considered marital assets, so if you inherent something set it up as a retirement fund for yourself -- keep your DH's name off of it.  It may sound harsh, but it really doesn't matter because if you are together you will both use the money, but if you are divorced you will have not commingled that asset.  

 

It is sad that we largely as a country give a lot of lip service to "family values" but when it comes right down to it, we don't want to value anything about families except their ability to contribute to the National GDP.  I feel that the lady in this article maybe made a decision without thinking through all the things she needed to.  And perhaps she didn't take the steps she needed to because she didn't want to think about the tough things in life, but I think SAH is a great choice for many, you just need to think it through like any important life decision.  You wouldn't go to grad school, law school, buy a house, etc. without having a long term plan on how you were going to pay for those things (or at least you shouldn't) and you'd likewise want to think about contingencies that could interfere with your ability to pay for them (job market collapses, housing bubble bursts, etc).  SAH is the same story, it's an important decision, so it is important for women to think about how they will make it work for themselves and their families.  

post #144 of 242
Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverFish View Post

all of you SAHM's that are criticizing her article, are you sure you are protected?



Yes.  If my husband and I divorce I will receive half of our assets (our house is ~8 years away from being paid off in a very expensive living area in the country) and our childrens' college fund will be paid in full in about 5 years.  My husband's pre-marriage assets are such that I could live comfortably for at least 5 years before needing a job.  In that time I could re-up my credential (I let it lapse) and I have been told by everyone in my former school district that if there is any chance I ever want to return to working they will find a way to hire me if they have to fire someone else.  It's of course not a guarantee, but it's sure nice to hear.  See, I worked in a very bad school and I am *very* good at working with gang kids.  I am a f-you-good teacher.  My students (as a collective) brought up their scores by 30% in a year in a population that normally falls further and further behind starting in middle school.  Yes, I will be able to get a job.  Will I have the cushy life I have now?  No.  And I don't really care.  This was never a priority for me anyway.  It's kind of a weird accident that I ended up in this position.  I have retirement in my name. 

 

But I think that I got lucky.  My situation is unusual.  Well, it's a combination of planning and luck.  I did make good choices at crucial junctures.  I don't however think that my situation is one I can say people 'should' attain because it is simply not available to most people in this country.

post #145 of 242
Thread Starter 

Thanks, aleatha! I really appreciate you giving your perspective. I didn't know that post nup's aren't worth all that much in alot of states. We will probably draw something up, if only as a reminder that we were both committed to this sort of lifestyle, if something should happen. My husband is now fully aware, after reading the article and all of the comments himself, how important this issue is for anyone who stays at home.

 

We do have a 529, but have not been putting much into it since DH began school. I will push for that to be a priority. I think I will also ask for a spousal IRA and ask for max contributions.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by aleatha5 View Post

GeekGoLightly,  I first wanted to say that you should talk to an attorney because in many states postnuptial agreements aren't really worth the expense of preparing them.  For various reasons mainly stemming from the attitude that Courts try to stay out of an intact marriage. However that being said, I think there are many great ways to protect yourself and I'm confused by this woman's lack of preparation.  I understand that for many, only one salary means that they must really skimp and save, but it doesn't sound like that is the case with her.  I've set up a 529 plan for my DS and I encourage EVERYONE to contribute to it in lieu of toys and other things that he doesn't need at birthdays and holidays.  (On a side note, my ILs also have a 529 plan for him that they maintain).  That money is his for college and DH and I don't touch it.  I also feel comforted because in case of a divorce (which I think is unlikely) DH can't take that money out (nor can I) the Court will protect it for DS.  So, there is DS's college fund.

 

I also quit a full time job that was not good paying for my field but was rock steady.  And I struggled with it for awhile, but ultimately, I made the decision I feel best about.  I work part time at 3 jobs (I'm an attorney, so I can really control how much or little I want to take on and I tutor on the side).  So, I keep my skills fresh and at any time I could up the number of clients I take on...I know not everyone can do this, so in that way I'm lucky, but it sounds like you are also in a pretty good field.  You can keep your skills up and segue back in if and when you want to.  The other thing I think is important is to make sure you are doing simple things to protect yourself.  For example, in most jurisdictions inheritances aren't considered marital assets, so if you inherent something set it up as a retirement fund for yourself -- keep your DH's name off of it.  It may sound harsh, but it really doesn't matter because if you are together you will both use the money, but if you are divorced you will have not commingled that asset.  

 

It is sad that we largely as a country give a lot of lip service to "family values" but when it comes right down to it, we don't want to value anything about families except their ability to contribute to the National GDP.  I feel that the lady in this article maybe made a decision without thinking through all the things she needed to.  And perhaps she didn't take the steps she needed to because she didn't want to think about the tough things in life, but I think SAH is a great choice for many, you just need to think it through like any important life decision.  You wouldn't go to grad school, law school, buy a house, etc. without having a long term plan on how you were going to pay for those things (or at least you shouldn't) and you'd likewise want to think about contingencies that could interfere with your ability to pay for them (job market collapses, housing bubble bursts, etc).  SAH is the same story, it's an important decision, so it is important for women to think about how they will make it work for themselves and their families.  

post #146 of 242

 

"Yes, I will be able to get a job.  Will I have the cushy life I have now?  No.  And I don't really care.  This was never a priority for me anyway."

 

 yeahthat.gif

 

... and I also agree that while our good decisions at various junctures have given everyone in this family a lot of security in the event of crisis, our game plan was founded on above-average income from a very young age, and it's really NOT attainable for most people in their thirties. So I feel like an edge case SAHM, and when other SAHMs I know IRL go back to work or cut lifestyle in order to build their savings, I inwardly (and sometimes outwardly) cheer, because I would hate to see somebody I cared about have a financial crisis on top of a marital crisis. 

post #147 of 242

I only read the article and pages 1 and 8 of the thread (got kiddies to put to bed..).

 

I don't worry about it.  I'm not "protected" now - we're not married and have no legal agreement as regards responsibilities to one another.  My name is on the house deeds, alongside his.  I guess i'd get half of whatever we own of it if we split.

 

I have been a single mother, on benefits (i'm in the UK) in a horrible area, with pretty crappy housing.  I survived.  Do i relish going back there?  No.  Do i FEAR it?  Definitely not!  I realise i'm lucky that benefits exist in this country and can provide for me in this way.  It's wasn't a walk in the park but it wasn't that bad either.

 

Honestly, if i was this author i would send my "almost men" to live with their rich father who can provide them with the designer labels they are craving.

post #148 of 242
I agree with GoBecGo. We don't have great benefits in this country, though. I have been a single parent. It sucked, but I lived through it. Often financially better off than I am now. I would also be eligible for free school and childcare if I were to get divorced. Plus dh would have to pay for college and a fairly substantial child support and possibly alimony. I have generous, though poor, family who would help me in a heartbeat. I do not have a pre-nup but if we were to ever get divorced, you bet he'd be the at fault party so I would be fairly well covered.
post #149 of 242

I have been thinking about this article for a bit.  It bothered me and I couldn't quite figure out why.  I think I have figured it out.

 

It's titled regrets of a SAHM, and it seems that is blaming her current situation on being a SAHM.  It seems that she is saying that in some ways, she regrets staying at home because that's what resulted in her difficult financial situation.

 

And, that's not true.  What put her where she is is that her husband left her.  She would be in a very similar situation if she was a WOHM.  Many, if not most, dual income households have to have both of their incomes to run their households.  And, if one spouse takes off, the remaining spouse is still stuck in a financial disaster.  They are stuck running a 2 income lifestyle on one income.  And in this economy anyone could lose their job/career at any time. 

 

I also am kinda bothered by the doom and gloom/woe is me/"don't make all the wrong choices like I did" type of tone to it.  I have been all kinds of mamma-I have been a teen mom, a single mom, a WOHM, a student mom, a SAHM, a WAHM, a married mom, etc etc.  I have been all of them, some times more than one at the same time.  And you know, when stuff happens, you just do what you gotta do.  Really.  Sometimes, life throws you a situation where you have to start over.  It happens.  So, just start over.

post #150 of 242
Quote:
Originally Posted by happysmileylady View Post

I have been thinking about this article for a bit.  It bothered me and I couldn't quite figure out why.  I think I have figured it out.

 

It's titled regrets of a SAHM, and it seems that is blaming her current situation on being a SAHM.  It seems that she is saying that in some ways, she regrets staying at home because that's what resulted in her difficult financial situation.

 

And, that's not true.  What put her where she is is that her husband left her.  She would be in a very similar situation if she was a WOHM.  Many, if not most, dual income households have to have both of their incomes to run their households.  And, if one spouse takes off, the remaining spouse is still stuck in a financial disaster.  They are stuck running a 2 income lifestyle on one income.  And in this economy anyone could lose their job/career at any time. 

 

I also am kinda bothered by the doom and gloom/woe is me/"don't make all the wrong choices like I did" type of tone to it.  I have been all kinds of mamma-I have been a teen mom, a single mom, a WOHM, a student mom, a SAHM, a WAHM, a married mom, etc etc.  I have been all of them, some times more than one at the same time.  And you know, when stuff happens, you just do what you gotta do.  Really.  Sometimes, life throws you a situation where you have to start over.  It happens.  So, just start over.


I think that the older you get the harder it becomes to start over. Hell, if you are female the older you get the harder it becomes to simply find a job.
post #151 of 242
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chamomile Girl View Post
View Post

 

I think that the older you get the harder it becomes to start over. Hell, if you are female the older you get the harder it becomes to simply find a job.



One of those things true for both genders.  My dh works with some guys in their late 50s who are absolutely terrified of losing their jobs. (he's in building materials, and with the recession, it's a continual real fear).   For those with a SAH spouse, I think the pressure is doubly hard.  I hate to hear the fear in those guys' voices, and I think about that when I am continuing to choose to SAH.  Am I contributing to too much stress/pressure for my dh?  It's a hard choice for sure.

post #152 of 242
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chamomile Girl View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by happysmileylady View Post

I have been thinking about this article for a bit.  It bothered me and I couldn't quite figure out why.  I think I have figured it out.

 

It's titled regrets of a SAHM, and it seems that is blaming her current situation on being a SAHM.  It seems that she is saying that in some ways, she regrets staying at home because that's what resulted in her difficult financial situation.

 

And, that's not true.  What put her where she is is that her husband left her.  She would be in a very similar situation if she was a WOHM.  Many, if not most, dual income households have to have both of their incomes to run their households.  And, if one spouse takes off, the remaining spouse is still stuck in a financial disaster.  They are stuck running a 2 income lifestyle on one income.  And in this economy anyone could lose their job/career at any time. 

 

I also am kinda bothered by the doom and gloom/woe is me/"don't make all the wrong choices like I did" type of tone to it.  I have been all kinds of mamma-I have been a teen mom, a single mom, a WOHM, a student mom, a SAHM, a WAHM, a married mom, etc etc.  I have been all of them, some times more than one at the same time.  And you know, when stuff happens, you just do what you gotta do.  Really.  Sometimes, life throws you a situation where you have to start over.  It happens.  So, just start over.


I think that the older you get the harder it becomes to start over. Hell, if you are female the older you get the harder it becomes to simply find a job.

Depends on the job. It's very difficult as a young woman to find a job. I had people flat out deny me a job on the spot because I was a young woman. I wanted to work at the recycling station at my college for a part time job that was advertised. I just came from a job in healthcare where I regularly lifted 400 lb. people out of bed yet I was denied the job because "girls can not lift 50 lb. containers". eyesroll.gif The only advantage I have seen for being a young woman looking for a job is in dancing or acting.
post #153 of 242
Quote:

Depends on the job. It's very difficult as a young woman to find a job. I had people flat out deny me a job on the spot because I was a young woman. I wanted to work at the recycling station at my college for a part time job that was advertised. I just came from a job in healthcare where I regularly lifted 400 lb. people out of bed yet I was denied the job because "girls can not lift 50 lb. containers". eyesroll.gifThe only advantage I have seen for being a young woman looking for a job is in dancing or acting.



I doubt they would hire my almost elderly arse either, LOL.  I imagine that when they say "girls" can't lift 50lb containers, they are referring to women in general and their perceived lack of strength.  This attitude is common in the refuse and construction industries, which is predominately male.  Women tend not to get stronger as they get older, so I'm not sure it is a youth thing.  Regarding the bolded part:  I've seen a lot of capable, smart young women out there working in a lot of different fields.  That's all I'm gonna say.  winky.gif

post #154 of 242


I think people who believe that it's harder to find a job when you are older do a disservice to themselves.  I am not saying there isn't some "ageism" out there, but it works both ways.  Just like there are employers who won't hire older folks, there are also employers who won't hire younger folks.  They believe younger people are less reliable, more likely to flake off, show up late, etc. 

 

My FIL is in his 60s and has been laid off multiple times in his life.  He works in a dying industry, printing.  And yet, his last layoff was about 5 years ago, and he was out of work for 6 months.  That's it.  He was able to find a jog.  My mom is in her late 50s, instead of finding a job, she made one.  She's co owner of a cake shop. 

 

Everyone has their difficulties finding jobs.  It's hard because the type of job they are looking for isn't easy to find where they live.  It's hard because they are looking for something that is physically demanding and they don't appear to be strong enough.  It's hard because they don't have a degree.  It's hard because they have a degree that is totally irrelevant to the jobs available in their area.  Whatever.  Everyone has issues that makes finding a job a difficult task. 

 

The thing that makes finding a job the most difficult is the belief that finding a job is difficult. 

 

 

 

 

 

Everyone in the world has their own pile of crap to deal with.  Some people have bigger piles of crap that others, that's the way life goes.  But EVERYONE has their pile of crap.  What matters is not the size of your pile of crap, but what you do about it.  If that crap is in your way, shovel it out of the way.  If your crap pile is bigger, it may mean you have to do a little more work to get it out of the way.  But, the only person who can deal with your pile of crap is you and standing there complaining about it isn't going to shovel it out of the way. 

post #155 of 242
Quote:
Originally Posted by CatsCradle View Post



Quote:

Depends on the job. It's very difficult as a young woman to find a job. I had people flat out deny me a job on the spot because I was a young woman. I wanted to work at the recycling station at my college for a part time job that was advertised. I just came from a job in healthcare where I regularly lifted 400 lb. people out of bed yet I was denied the job because "girls can not lift 50 lb. containers". eyesroll.gifThe only advantage I have seen for being a young woman looking for a job is in dancing or acting.



I doubt they would hire my almost elderly arse either, LOL.  I imagine that when they say "girls" can't lift 50lb containers, they are referring to women in general and their perceived lack of strength.  This attitude is common in the refuse and construction industries, which is predominately male.  Women tend not to get stronger as they get older, so I'm not sure it is a youth thing.  Regarding the bolded part:  I've seen a lot of capable, smart young women out there working in a lot of different fields.  That's all I'm gonna say.  winky.gif


Me, too. wink1.gif But it is a whole lot harder for older women to get good paying dancing, acting, and modeling jobs. I think this is horribly unfair. It is not impossible, but a lot harder.
post #156 of 242

The author sounds understandably distressed - so would I probably.  But SAHM or not, there's no guarantee that

things will work out.  Prepare for the worst and hope for the best, I guess.

post #157 of 242

I work at home, 30 hrs a week.  DD used to attend daycare PT and now she's in kindy.  I think I'm pretty much in the same position as the author, as it sounds like she was working, but less hours and making less money.  Trying to keep her connections and skills up to date.

 

The thing is--these days--there are no guarantees.  I could have stayed fulltime at my old job, kept commuting, and been fired and out looking for a job for the past two years.  Things are bad out there, and there's no safe, easy way to glide through it these days. (In my opinion)  I have my own safety nets in an income property that I owned before I was married and SEP (self employed pension plan)  which is like a 401K with no match.

 

I am glad that I was able to take the time when DD was small--because it does go really fast--now that she's in kindy I can really see how fast it went.  And, similar to what others have said--I'm not too worried about ending up poor.  Maybe part of it's the MDC mindset, but I have more than 95% of the world, just as a middle-class
American.  I am not going to crumble because I can't buy my child "electronics" or completely fund her college education.  I'd love to do both--but those are not rights, you know?  They are gifts that would be given lovingly, if I am able.

 

The article doesn't make me angry, but I do think it has a lot of holes.  It's also a big rehash of The Feminine Mistake--which is a great book to read if you are working out of the home--it will give you a lot of reasons to get up every day and keep going if you feel like you really want to stay at home.  And I say that as someone who really enjoys working.  But part-time, on my own terms, which I know isn't realistic for most of the world.

 

Oh, and that's another thing--the article is very skewed towards upper middle class women.  Yes, we lose money.  But how much money does a mom of 3 lose who was either waitressing or working retail without investment benefits.  Probably not much.

post #158 of 242


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by happysmileylady View Post

I have been thinking about this article for a bit.  It bothered me and I couldn't quite figure out why.  I think I have figured it out.

 

It's titled regrets of a SAHM, and it seems that is blaming her current situation on being a SAHM.  It seems that she is saying that in some ways, she regrets staying at home because that's what resulted in her difficult financial situation.

 

And, that's not true.  What put her where she is is that her husband left her.  She would be in a very similar situation if she was a WOHM.  Many, if not most, dual income households have to have both of their incomes to run their households.  And, if one spouse takes off, the remaining spouse is still stuck in a financial disaster.  They are stuck running a 2 income lifestyle on one income.  And in this economy anyone could lose their job/career at any time. 

 

I also am kinda bothered by the doom and gloom/woe is me/"don't make all the wrong choices like I did" type of tone to it.  I have been all kinds of mamma-I have been a teen mom, a single mom, a WOHM, a student mom, a SAHM, a WAHM, a married mom, etc etc.  I have been all of them, some times more than one at the same time.  And you know, when stuff happens, you just do what you gotta do.  Really.  Sometimes, life throws you a situation where you have to start over.  It happens.  So, just start over.


Yeah, exactly.  I think she should be blaming herself for making poor decisions in college, like majoring in English, journalism, whatever, instead of looking for a more in-demand, higher paying field.  I don't think it has much to do with being a sahm.  I think if she were single without children, never married, she still might be rethinking her choices and career, given how journalism is fairly underpaid and the industry is tanking. (I myself majored in English and worked in book publishing, and I fully expect to have to go back to school for an additional credential if I want to have a career again.)   I think she just tied this article to motherhood because that's how you get readers (see Amy Chua).

post #159 of 242
Quote:
Originally Posted by NicaG View Post

Yeah, exactly.  I think she should be blaming herself for making poor decisions in college, like majoring in English, journalism, whatever, instead of looking for a more in-demand, higher paying field.  I don't think it has much to do with being a sahm.  I think if she were single without children, never married, she still might be rethinking her choices and career, given how journalism is fairly underpaid and the industry is tanking. (I myself majored in English and worked in book publishing, and I fully expect to have to go back to school for an additional credential if I want to have a career again.)   I think she just tied this article to motherhood because that's how you get readers (see Amy Chua).


I don't think she should be blaming herself for "making poor decisions" by not choosing a high-paid career path when she was a college student.  That's not a poor decision.  My sister went to law school and now she's unemployed.  I went to music school and have tons of employment.  No choice of major is a guarantee, and also your choice of major often has little to do with the career you end up in.  I'm kind of shocked at how much of the conversation on this thread has turned to "college has to be only practical" talk.  The idea that only practical majors in college get work later on has been thoroughly debunked and is just not true.  

post #160 of 242

I don't think her poor choice was college either.  I think her poor choice, was, unfortunately, regrettibly, her spouse.  He's the one that left her and while she could likely not forsee her spouse leaving anymore than she could forsee the "death" of journalism back when she choose it as her major, that was still where the problem was.  Her spouse divorced her.  She was left running a one income lifestyle on "no" income.  And now she has to start over.  Just like she would if she had been living a 2 income lifestyle and her spouse passed away and she was stuck running a 2 income lifestyle on 1 income.  If her spouse had never left, she would probably still be a stay at home mom and never regretting a thing.

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