After 19 months, realizing I have PPD- where do I go from here?

[Chic_Mama]

I know it sounds crazy right- 19 months?  Can I even call it PPD anymore?  Maybe it is just PPD turned to flat out depression by now- I'm really not sure what the logistics of it are. 

I am not at all sure where to go from here.  I want to take handle it from a natural perspective but am not at all sure where to start.  I need suggestions.

Has anyone else suffered from PPD for this long?

Oh, by the way- this is after my second baby (third pregnancy- miscarriage in between) and I have displayed more symptoms after each subsequent pregnancy.

[bonjourmama]

Wow, so sorry you have struggled for nine months. So this sounds silly but my therapist just told me to get Brooke Shield's book "Down Came the Rain." Haven't read it yet, but it is on its way. Also can you find someone to talk about this with? I have had PPD for 6 mths, but am just now getting help. My birth was after a miscarriage too. I never really felt connected to my daughter and I think it was because I was afraid she would never make it after my miscarriage. Anyways, I hope you do some research and find some others stories because you are certainly not alone. I have heard it said that birth and death trigger our emotions, feelings, and memories in ways much deeper than any other. 

Best wishes mama. Feel free to send me a message anytime if you just want to chat about how cruddy things are, or about how happy you are, anything. You are not alone in this struggle.

[bonjourmama]

Sorry didn't quite answer your original question, hopefully someone else will have more solid advice.

[MeepyCat]

I am so sorry that you've felt so bad for so long, Mama, and I hope that you feel better soon.

My oh so very unqualified opinion:  In my experience, the therapies available for PPD are identical to those used for depression and anxiety not related to pregnancy.  PPD is a billing code that doctors use to help you get help for mental health issues with minimal effect on your insurablity later on.  So if they're willing to call it PPD, yup, it's PPD. 

This is not to say that PPD doesn't exist, or that pregnancy and birth don't have huge effects on mental health - it does, and they do.  But whether or not it's "really" PPD doesn't strike me as a question that necessarily needs an answer.  If you need help, I support you getting it.  There is no denying that PPD is a label that has helped many people get help.

My DD is a post-miscarriage baby as well, and I definitely had some issues connecting to her.  Anti-depressants (zoloft and wellbutrin) and sleep helped me immensely.  Zoloft is commonly prescribed to pregnant and breast feeding women, but my psychiatrist wanted me to wean before we tried Wellbutrin.  Since then, I have learned that many doctors believe that Wellbutrin is safe for nursing women.  It breaks my heart a little to think that I could have felt so much better so much sooner without pressure to stop nursing.  If you choose to pursue medication and you are still breast feeding, it's important to have a doctor who is well read and experienced in treating nursing mothers. 

In terms of natural approaches:  for me, I really, *really* needed to get enough sleep.  That meant keeping DS in daycare so I could nap when the baby did, and being really unapologetic about going to bed when she did at night.  She woke up a lot - we wound up using some sleep training tactics to improve the amount of rest everyone got.  (I think that sleep training little babies is nuts, but 19 months is a different ball game.)

In addition, I joined a gym with childcare.  On something of a whim, I started a couch to 5K running program, and participated in a magazine-sponsored fitness challenge.  Neither of these things has had much measurable effect (I still can't run five whole kilometers without stopping to walk), but I found the structure and the instruction useful in getting me moving.  It was a long wait for the endorphins to kick in, but they eventually did.

Connecting with other moms helped me a lot too.  I needed the real-world interaction, and I needed people to point things about DD out to me, because, as weird as this may sound, I was having trouble seeing them myself.  To me, it seemed like DD was just this inert, unchanging baby thing and we were going to be on this mama and infant treadmill forever.  Outside observers were able to point out growth and change and help me realize that she was responding to me (quite sweetly) all the time, and that fostered our connection to each other, which also helped me feel a lot better.

[BabyBearsMummy]

It could be PPD or it could be basic depression. What resources are there in your area for PPD and depression? Do you have a local Distress Line you can call for information on community resources? A great first step would be making an apointment to meet with your GP and discussing  the situation with them. They should be able to point you to the approriate resources in your area.

I have struggled with depression my entire adult life and PPD was really tough. I am happy to report I now have more good days then bad and I manage to be an excellent single parent to my  DD 

[Bellabaz]

I am in a similar situation to you. I realized around month 13 that hey, hello is not just xyz normal stuff. I was/am really not feeling right. My #2 is also really #3, miscarrage in between. But for me I dojn't think thats it. I was/am in the prefect situation to fal into depression in general much less ppd. I was 7.5 months pregnant. We moved to a new country with a new language where we knew no one and I had dd1 to care for. I was very isolated for the whole first year or so we were here. Dd2 was a bad sleeper, had some other issues as well, and I had friends but no one who I felt comfortable asking to care for my kids cuz I needed a break. All my friend here have kids as well so I felt bad. And we weren't close yet, etc. So it was rough. I am starting to feel better now but I spent months not being able to "get myself together". I had like no memory, couldn't keep up with housework, didn't care about other engagments or things I should/needed to do. I find that exercise has a tremendously helpful effect for me. Finding a sitter for #2 so I can go to language classes helps, finally meeting some other people who speak the local language helps me fellless foreign.

All this to tell you that , whether or not is PPD, its possible not to realize your situation until well after the birth of your kid.

Good luck mama! and pm me if you just want to vent or anything too =).

[mommaklo]

 

On something of a whim, I started a couch to 5K running program, and participated in a magazine-sponsored fitness challenge.  Neither of these things has had much measurable effect (I still can't run five whole kilometers without stopping to walk), but I found the structure and the instruction useful in getting me moving.  It was a long wait for the endorphins to kick in, but they eventually did.

Connecting with other moms helped me a lot too.  I needed the real-world interaction, and I needed people to point things about DD out to me, because, as weird as this may sound, I was having trouble seeing them myself.  To me, it seemed like DD was just this inert, unchanging baby thing and we were going to be on this mama and infant treadmill forever.  Outside observers were able to point out growth and change and help me realize that she was responding to me (quite sweetly) all the time, and that fostered our connection to each other, which also helped me feel a lot better.

 I can relate to both of these things as helping me with mine, and my child is 11 mos. I started attending a support group when he was 4 1/2 mos and there were women there with 1 yos and older and I thought "I cant believe people deal with this for that long. I hope thats not me." Well, it is. I am now the one with an older child and I am just as supported as the mommas with 1 week old babes. There is even a woman in attendance that started when she was 17 mos post partum. I would say, for starters, find a support group. I drive 1/2 hr to get to mine each week, but I totally look forward to it, even still. Also, it has opened up doors into a community that I am new to as well. I think it can be ppd at 19 mos, if something changed and never changed back, or if your hormones (or your life, and whos doesnt with the birth of a child no matter how many we already have) get rocked, or if its just a life shift that we are not really prepared for. There are a whole list of supplements-- vitamins and minerals and oils that you can take, too, if you wanna go the "non drug" route, too. I think alot of people find relief with fish oil, for starters. And I would still take a prenatal to replace nutrients that the baby took while in the womb and also if nursed.

Hang in there, momma.