UC support thread #3 (March 30- April)

[ChildoftheMoon]

Thought I would get us started again

uc thread 2

uc thread #1

Brandi

[ChildoftheMoon]

So who is due next? I am due mid-July, so still have some time to wait. I believe this baby is transverse right now and I am measuring a little behind, but all is well. I have been starving so I think baby is getting ready for a big growth spurt! If anyone recalls my midwife worries, they were all for not. I talked to her yesterday and she is all for whatever we want. I am so relieved because I would like to see her for a post partem visit and a visit or two before the birth if I cannot figure out how this baby is positioned. I had not realized how laid back she truly is! She is also going to lend me one of her fishy pools so I don't have to purchase one myself. Hope everyone is well!

Has anyone heard anything from Tracy (citizenfong)? I have lost track of her!

Brandi

[majazama]

Yay, new thread~~

I want to ask you guys when do you start getting worried about your baby's position??? This little one *really* likes to be butt down. I'm 26 weeks along. I know, I still have lots of time to go, but I'm pretty sure my first born was head down by now....... Have you heard of people giving birth vaginally to breech babies UC? Is it more painful?

Oh gawd, I hope this baby doesn't stay breech.

[majazama]

Citizenfrog had her baby right at 43 weeks. He was 11 lbs!!!

[ChildoftheMoon]

Yeah Tracy!

I am not sure about position, I am just thinking about it myself. Both my girls were head down and stayed that way from early on. I hade read breech uc stories. I myself am worried about one (I make BIG babies). There are many things you can do to encourage. Here are a couple links.

breech

breech search

Brandi

[wildthing]

Thanks for starting a new thread Brandi! 11 pages...WHEW!!!!!

I am not going to worry about breech position until I am in labor, and maybe not even then. I will be 30 weeks Thursday, and my baby flips around quite a bit. I usuall have big babies, around 10 pounds or more. My babies have also been breech up to 38 weeks in past pregnancies, and they have always flipped. My midwife told me, "If you can give birth to a 10 pound baby head first, you can certainly do it breech." And yes, I have heard of many people giving birth UC to a breech birth. Check out Laura Shanley's site...one of her babies was breech.

Congratulations Tracy!!!!! Welcome little one!

[ChildoftheMoon]

Thank you Donna, that is comforting to know. My babes were 9+ and 10+. I will trust my body. I have had to unlearn some things this pregnancy, as it has caused me to worry too much:

Hooray for 30 weeks! You are moving right along

It started pouring down rain, so I guess I won't be going for my walk today. I have been walking two miles a day and it has made me feel so good! Today will be a good sewing day, I finally finished making curtains for my entire house, so now I can make something fun.

Brandi

[LavenderMae]

Congratulations, citizenfrog!!

[majazama]

Thank-you Childofthemoon for providing those links!
My first baby was 8 and a half pounds, and I had NO problem getting her out. I think that even if this baby is 9 lbs.+ I would still be able to give birth to a breech. I just never thought that it could happen to me. :
It was good to read that water birth could be the life-saving thing, if I was to have a breech with it's head stuck. I laboured last time almost exclusively in water, and plan to this time too.

I guess I should really start worrying at 38 weeks??? I wonder if I could turn the baby myself?

[KateSt.]

Hi Mamajaza -- I read in "Childbirth Wisdom" that you can turn a baby by massaging it. But I also read Laura Shanley's birth experiences and, as Wildthing said, she had a breech baby and another baby who came out feet first. Both were healthy and safe labors. (I believe laboring in a standing squat is the best for breech babies.)
If you are still concerned about turning your baby, I've also read about "suggesting" to your baby that he/she change position and visualize it as well.

Congrats Citizenfong!!

ChildoftheMoon -- I'm also in the process of "unlearning" many concepts about pregnancy and childbirth. Thanks in large part to this thread and the resources you women have provided, I'm learning that my body, my baby, and my intuition are the TRUE experts. What an incredible freedom! I'm LOVING this journey!

Kate

[majazama]

I have been visualizing the baby with it's head down, then "he" kicks me on the side. He is either transverse, or breech, all the time. It seems like he has no desire to be "upsidedown".

I have a feeling that part of his insistance on not going "the right way" is because I've not had a great relationship with the baby's father. He absolutely wants to be at the birth, but the last time I saw him was in january, and I left on BAD terms.: He lives 9 hours away, and he was supposed to come for a visit between now and the birth. But now he can't cause he's got $$ problems. So as of now, the next time I see him will be at the freakin' birth or a few days before! I think that is way unfair. We need to have a posative meeting before the "big day". I think. Do you think that is too much to ask? He sure does. Sorry, I just had to vent a little bit there.:

[lafemmedesfemmes]

yay! congrats to citizenfong!

personally, i don't think i'll be concerned about my baby's position until *late* in pregnancy... as in, i'm in labor, something feels wrong and the position might have something to do with it. :-)

i've read enough stories of babies turning very late in the pregnancy or during labor, and stories of unassisted breech births to make me comfortable with taking a wait-and-see attitude.

christina in marietta, ga
due mid-november-ish

[ChildoftheMoon]

Childbirth Wisdom is a great book! I need to reread it soon, it has been a while.

Mamajaza-I am sorry about your continueing problems with the father, that is just not right! Wishing you calming head down thoughts

I am so happy to see this thread hopping again! Where is everyone else?

Brandi

[yoga]

I think it's too early to start worrying about whether or not your baby will be breech. If you're really concerned about it, tell the baby you want him/her to be born head-first. I'm sure s/he'll comply.

I'm next to give birth, I think. Any day, now, but I think she won't come until April sometime.

*sigh*

[cottonwood]

Mamajaza, you don't owe anybody your birth experience! Shoot, I love my husband and even he's not invited.

About the kicking -- I have always felt kicking predominately on one side. Never up by my ribs. And all of my babies have been head-down.

[majazama]

blueviolet... So you're having your baby totally alone? Does your partner REALLY want to be there? My baby's father sure does. He thinks it's basically his RIGHT to be there. It's hard to say NO to someone like that.

My mom is going to be there, (because she lives upstairs), but she told me that she doesn't want to be there alone. I have few options. I don't know many people around here, as I just moved. And I'd want someone that I really knew well to be at the birth.

My mom also mentioned that because of his ambivilance in the beginning of the pregnancy, that seeing the child being born, it would make him more connected to it. He was right there at the first birth.

What are all of the rest of you planning on for your birth? Do you have a supportive partner or are you doing it alone or with a good friend? Are you going to labour in water?

[ChildoftheMoon]

Dh and my two dd will be there. It will depend on what time of day or night and how I feel at the time how it will play out. If it is the dead of night and I feel like it I may just go it alone. Dh wants me to do it how I want and he will be there for me.

I will have a fishy pool set up for possible water delivery. I had dd2 in the tub and loved that. I did not labor long in the water. I really liked being up and about, besides labor was quick so I don't think I entered the tub until transition. Will likely do the same thing again. Just going to do what I feel like at the time. Have a feeling it will be fast again so don't have many things planned. I do have some music that I want to have playing while in labor. I listened to Dead Can Dance last birth and it was such lovely music for the birth that I want it again for this birth. Maybe I will feel like doing some dancing this time .

Brandi

[cottonwood]

"blueviolet... So you're having your baby totally alone? Does your partner REALLY want to be there?"

Well, he really is outside of the experience to a certain extent, so it's not particularly compelling to him, it's just another bodily function. Now, meeting and holding the baby, that is something that is meangingful to him. Seeing me push the baby out is not. So he would be there as support for me if I wanted that, but he's not attached to the idea of being there himself.

From my side of it, he is superfluous. I'm by nature a solo birther, I don't want guidance, I don't want encouragement. So he's basically relegated to the role of observer, he's not inside it with me, so to some extent he is a distraction. Same with any private, creative act, like writing, or making some piece of art, or making music, meditation -- it's never been possible for me to go completely within when there's someone there simply watching me.

So nothing is set in stone, but I'm inclined to do it alone.

"My baby's father sure does. He thinks it's basically his RIGHT to be there."

I have to disagree. Yes, he has a right to see the baby, because the baby is partly his. But not your body, and not your experience of giving birth. Those things don't belong to him one bit. I think it really comes down to a simple question: do you want him there, for yourself?

"My mom is going to be there, (because she lives upstairs), but she told me that she doesn't want to be there alone. I have few options. I don't know many people around here, as I just moved. And I'd want someone that I really knew well to be at the birth."

In the end it's your choice, of course. But you shouldn't have to feel forced into anything because of *other* people's needs. You need to focus on your own. If having the baby's father there will be unpleasant for you, then he shouldn't be there. I understand your mom wanting support for herself, but surely she wouldn't demand that at your expense?

"My mom also mentioned that because of his ambivilance in the beginning of the pregnancy, that seeing the child being born, it would make him more connected to it."

I have known men to be at the baby's birth and then abandon the mother and baby, and I have seen men not be at the baby's birth and be totally devoted fathers. It is important for you and the baby to be together, because of the bonding hormones. But for him, the connection is going to have to be made in a different way. Does it really makes sense that that connection will depend on him seeing the baby exit your vagina?

"Are you going to labour in water?"

Probably! I found it really helpful last time. I did get out for the birth, though.

[majazama]

You made some good points there, blueviolet. I wish that I had a partner who would really understand that it is my decision on those sort of things. He sees the baby as half his, which it is. I guess I will see how things go. I've always been *very* independant, so perhaps I don't really need anyone. But I don't want to be hiding it from my mother who lives upstairs and my baby's father, who is going to come to be with me before. And my little girl will be there for sure, unless she's sleeping soundly.

How refreshing that would be to have the baby *alone*. He would be mine and all mine~~ when I gave birth to my daughter, with a midwife, I said, she's perfect, she's so beautiful, like the midwife had just given her to me. If it really comes down to it, and I have to tell him not to come, he will be very upset, but he will get over it. Just like he did when I decided to keep the pregnancy.

Oh, well, I hope everyone else is doing great. I wonder how all the new, recent, UC moms are doing?

[citizenfong]

Hi, just had to pop in and correct my mistake before the legend grows...

Our fish scale was wrong! Who would have guessed that a $5 scale from Wal-Mart could be wrong? :LOL Now that we know, we have recalculated retroactively and decided that the official weight was 8 lbx. 10 oz.

When dh first weighed ds and came up with almost 11 lbs. I didnt' believe him. FIL came up with the idea of weighing a 5 lb bag of flour to check the scale. Yep, 5 lbs. Then we took ds to the ped on Monday and he was weighed there. : We got home and tested 5lbs of flour AND 5 lbs of sugar and came up with 12 lbs.

Well, that explains why he didn't look big enough. Frankly, I'm just glad I'm not crazy (shouldn't these newborn clothes be too small? is my memory of ds #1 that dim? etc...)

Hoping to have a birth story to share soon. It went really great. The very best part was afterward when we all (had 2 friends over to help) looked at each other and said, "We're done. That's it. There's a baby! Huh. A couple of hours ago there was no baby here and now there is and now it's time for a nap!" Just so NORMAL!! And nobody took my baby away from me.

The other great thing I'm discovering is that it feels like we have a headstart compared to last time. We're not losing valuable early days with leftover crap from the hospital, catching up on learning to nurse, catching up on sleep, etc. It's been such a smooth transition so far.