Thank you in advance for reading this. It is Very Long sorry!
First a little back story. My DH is a public school teacher, I am an ex hairstylist who is now a stay at home mom. We have 3 daughters 11/24/05, 8/2/07 and 10/23/08. Last summer we moved from Las Vegas to Monterey Bay, Ca. In Nevada the Kindergarten cut-off date was Sept. 1st. Here in Ca it is Dec 1st (yes they just changed for the future). Personally I had reservations about starting our oldest at all. She had never been to day care, preschool or even a babysitter, only gramma on the rare occasion.
The first few days were tough. She would cry when we left but then was fine. After the first week things were great. We had to do quick good byes and everything was great. She was and still is doing amazingly well as far as academics go. Everything was great until October (started school on Aug 11th), when I went to school for a PTA meeting and popped in to say hi at lunch and she melted into a blubbering mess. I took her home early and the next week was fall break so no school. After the break similar things would happen. I had started helping in the class room in the mornings (bringing my other kids with me) but soon had to stop this because when I would leave it was an issue for her. Her behavior and academics are still great and the teacher says she is fine during school, but things are not fine.
We had 2 long weekends in Nov and she was sick of a whole week, so she missed a lot of school that month, then winter break in Dec, then we went on vacation last week to visit family in Vegas.
Starting in December she began really making mornings impossible. Refusing to get dressed, then choosing inappropriate school close/shoes, not helping decide on what to have for lunch/snack, basically making mornings as difficult as possible. I talked to her teacher and we did a star chart for the last 2 weeks before break and were fine. Now we are back to her hating school. She is not happy when she comes home, she is never excited to go to school, fights when it is homework time (then flies through it) and says I don't want to go to school. Kindergarten here is a REALLY long day of school. They go from 8am until 2:20 everyday except Wed when they get out at 12:45.
We also co-sleep and she decided the night before she started kindergarten that she was a big girl and wanted to sleep in her own bed in her own room. I of course would not have chosen this since starting school was such a big deal, but hey who am I to hold her back. She did great in her own room until around Oct as well, when she began needing flashlights and a brighter nightlight. We offered her to come back to the family bed, but she wanted nothing to do it. As time has gone on she has regressed to waking up 2 to 3 times per night and requiring assistance each time or begging us to sleep with her. We need sleep so we have decided today to just move her back into our room so the entire family can sleep again.
If it were up to me I would just pull her out and start her again next year. HOWEVER my husband has VERY different views. He feel that she is not being taught (“enriched”) enough at home, he thinks having all three at home is stressful for me (which it is, but oh well) and he thinks she needs to be learning more and creating a good work ethic. I have a crappy work ethic in part due to my mom letting me stay home whenever I wanted (she believe that even emotional reasons were reasons, but there was no fun if we stayed home). DH mom made him go to school even if he was sick, and he never misses work even if he is sick. He believe now that she is just being lazy and doesn't feel like working. I believe she is too young and not ready. When we ask her why she doesn't like school she doesn't have a reason. For a while it was ELD where they mix up the K classes based on academic level. At first they kept her with her teacher, no help, then put her with her best friend, no help with that either. After the break they put her in the upper class and she has been okay as far as ELD is concerned, but is still unhappy and doesn't want to go to school. She says she wants to learn at home.
The days that she is home it is more difficult she adds a different dynamic to the other two kids relationship. There is much more fighting and stress when she is home. She tries to be the boss and tell them what to do as well as tries to discipline them. We have many days with no fighting when she is at school. So do I force her to stay in school for my sanity or so I suck it up and let her stay home. Please help. I am also open to any thought about how to homeschool when you are unorganized, impatient and have a 2 and 3 yr old at home who want to do everything their big sister wants to do?