Extremely desperate for nap advice!!!

[ibis]

I need help in a big way. I have never been so at sea with my son, who just turned a year old. He will NOT NAP.

We let him nap in the swing until he was almost 9 months old because every time we tried crib napping, he'd wake up freaking out after 10 minutes. Once he outgrew the swing, we tried crib napping and failed again, so we let him nap on my back in an Ergo for 3 more months. This is getting taxing for me so I tried crib napping again just before his birthday (probably bad timing!)

He did AWESOME in the crib for about a week. I used a technique called "Staylistening" where he does have to cry, but I just stay with him and comfort him. It worked perfectly. Within a few days he was going to sleep without crying and sleeping for an hour or more.

Then I had to put him in daycare for a whole day, the next day was his birthday and his nap was all messed up, the following day was a pedi appt and he did nap but was upset all day. After that... no more napping. 

Day one - I returned to Staylistening. He screamed for an hour so I gave up and tried letting him get tired. He did not nap all day.

Day two - tried again. Hysterical screaming. I actually climbed INTO the crib and he eventually slept that way.

Day three - tried again, screaming, screaming, finally I moved him to our bed where he sleeps at night and he eventually slept.

Day four - I couldn't deal so I let him nap in the Ergo.

Day five - desperate for advice I tried the "no cry sleep solution" style of intermittent checking in and soothing. He screamed for 30 min, I picked him up to soothe and he fell asleep in my arms which is where he is now.

When I say he's screaming, he's having a huge, scary, raging tantrum including smashing his face into the crib or my head. I really don't know what to do. He sleeps fine at night, but we cosleep. I can't let him nap in the bed because it's not safe alone and I don't especially want to sit in bed for two hours a day. People are telling me he will never nap alone as long as we cosleep at night. 

I am at my wit's end and will listen to ANY advice at this point.

[Marissamom]

would it be possible to have it set up so you can cosleep him down and then sneak out? mattress on the floor in a babyproofed room or something? I don't believe that a coslept baby won't be able to nap on their own, but it does seem like it's not going to happen right now, at least not in a crib. 

[mummamilk]

DS will sleep in his crib for nap if I don't treat it like a nap. I give him toys to play with and leave the shades up. I leave the door open until he falls asleep. If he is tired he will lay down without crying. If he is not tired he will atleast play for about an hour so I can get something done. Usually he falls asleep in the car seat or the swing.

[tzs]

that sounds great to me!

it sounds win/win. if he naps then great and if not then he's "rested his body" and had some quiet time!

[LadyCatherine185]

Originally Posted by Marissamom 

would it be possible to have it set up so you can cosleep him down and then sneak out? mattress on the floor in a babyproofed room or something? I don't believe that a coslept baby won't be able to nap on their own, but it does seem like it's not going to happen right now, at least not in a crib. 

THIS.

[plantnerd]

I'm in the same boat, and just started making some headway with my 14 month old.  D just started sleeping through the night in his bed (god, just saying that makes we want to sing a song!) so I figured he was ready to try it for naps.  Before now he was a boob sleeper, to swing sleeper, to bjorn sleeper, to ergo sleeper.  But by 25 lbs I was getting to about done with it!

I started by cutting out the morning nap.  He was tired then, but I was spending two naps a day battling.  At 13 months I figured he just wasn't that tired, more like he needed a break.  We started getting up at the same time every morning- 7:00, and getting the ball rolling with a firmer schedule of meals, snacks, nursing, activities, etc to kind of "cue" him as to when naptime would be.  I bumped up the physical activity a lot, he needs to burn off enough steam to sleep.  Lots of running, playing, rough housing (although that created it's own set of problems, see my other post!), outdoor activities, etc.

That, and I just really had to get firm with it.  I haven't made him cio for naps, but after lunch at 11:30 we wash up, put on soft pants, read a story, and I just hold him in the rocker and rock.  He will get mad and try to climb down, struggle, whine, etc.  I think that little mind is just gogogogogo and it's hard to stop exploring.  When he settles down from that (10-15 min or so) I will nurse him and he's out like a light.  Into the bed he goes.  Sometimes he sleeps for 1/2 hour, sometimes 2 hours, I just roll with it.  He's good to go until whine-thirty around 6, which is sadly also dinner time, poor DH.  Bed by 7:00.  Even a catnap counts in my book as progress!

Good luck, keep trying!!!

[Asiago]

Regarding napping he is showing and telling you what makes him feel safe, I would go with that. In the long run it is the easiest, requires less effort and stress than trying to make him nap alone before he is ready.  I am a firm believer in following baby's lead and cues. If he needs breast give him breast, if he needs security give him security, needs comfort and so on. I have found that by following instincts instead of the experts advice then  baby is calm and content and progresses nicely without force and that bond of trust is not broken. The progress and independance comes when the individual baby is ready for it. For some it is sooner than others. I just believe that you can't go wrong by addressing their needs, it builds confidence and security. If your son is secure being with you then I would go with that for now.

I went back to wearing my son for naps after he awoke crying a few times. It wasn't worth the trauma, so I went back to wearing him in a carrier. It was what he needed so I went with it. Now he has just transitioned to napping in our bed at 15 months, so I no longer wear him. I think he also needed motion up until recently, that need seems to have greatly been reduced these last couple months.

Now I carry him in my arms nursing him to sleep, lie him in bed , roll away, nurse him again in about a half an hour, and just repeat. He'll sleep for 2+ hours now and I just come in frequently to lie with him or nurse him. I get some chunks of time and his needs for comfort, security and nourishment are still met.. It wasn't hard or stressful, it just happened when he was ready.

The people who make negative comments about co-sleeping likely are ignorant upon the subject and never researched it so they make uninformed comments. Try to ignore them.

One thought, when possible try to teach your baby to get off of the bed safely. We did this early on when he was still crawling so by the time he walked he had mastered it. Until then perhaps napping on the floor would work as previous postered suggested.