Mamas that have had an "oops" on purpose....

[Lauren82]

Did you call your midwife or OB after the baby was born and go to birth center/hospital to get checked out?

I ask because I am considering an "oops". I love my midwives and birth center but I am feeling a strong urge to birth alone in my own home.

[Rainystar66]

I never did, but I never felt any need to...

[dayiscoming2006]

I wanted to oops with my second but I didn't have a place to birth at since I was with uncooperative in-laws.

I plan to oops with this baby and look forward to seeing any answers. I think someone wrote a similar question a while back and basically they recommended not going in if you are all healthy and fine. I guess they may hassle you when you get there, but I guess that depends on the caregiver. I am using a hospital midwife group for prenatal care at the moment and after I oops, I will give a call when I feel up to it to let them know what happened (oops baby came too fast.) And then tell them we're fine (hopefully) and I will set up an appointment for my baby to see our family doctor and I will be unlikely to set up a 6 week checkup with them. When I had my second son in Romania, they don't even suggest a 6 week checkup. It's unheard of. I think it's just another thing that we're all roped into doing. 

[Lauren82]

Hmm. I definitely can't imagine the midwives hassling me, especially since I had a very fast labor last time and barely made it there as it was. It probably wouldn't seem too odd for me to not make it in. It would seriously tick me off that *anyone* would get hassled.

I do look forward to seeing more answers. :)

[catholic74]

I have been considering the "oops" scenario myself.  I had my last baby at home. I had a midwife, but she didn't make it in time. I birth very fast.  This time around, we just can't afford a midwife. It's as plain as that.  Even if we could afford one, I doubt she would get here in time.  My midwife woud literally have to live within a 20 minute distance to have a reasonable chance of making it to my house.  The hospital where I could go because my insurance covers me there, is right across the street.  I could birth there, but I just don't want to. Once you've had a birth at home, it's sooooo hard to go back!   Still, ideally, I'd rather have someone with some training around and I'd especially like to have someone deal with the cord and afterbirth. I just don't want to do any of that.   So, in my mind, I thought I could "accidently" give birth at home with my husband and kids  (my husband has no problem with it.....he was the only one in attendance at the last two births...I didn't make it to the hospital with number 2 either!) , then call the hospital to let them know I'm coming in for them to do the rest, then I figured I'd stay for a few hours and then ask to go home.   I'm still mulling it all over and working out the details.  I do plan to ask if my insurance (Tricare) will cover a homebirth, but in my area, I highly doubt it and if they did one of those deals where we have to pay up front and they reimburse us, then it's out anyway because like I said, we just can't afford it........it's frustrating.   

[Greenlea]

One thing though, if you go to the hospital after you oops, I wouldn't bring the baby if you can help it.  Of the midwives and doulas I've talked to many hospitals will treat that baby with every precaution in the book since it wasn't birthed in a sterile environment.  That is not my experience, just what I've heard.

[catholic74]

I suppose it depends on the hospital.  I had my second child in the car on the way to the hospital ( a most un-sterile environment, I assure you!) and I don't recall them doing anything out of the ordinary with the baby.  It might have been that I was so aggressive about keeping her with me and not allowing them to take her anywhere or to wash her, etc.  I have a feeling that in some hospitals, once they sense that you are prefer a "hands-off" approach from the staff and know what you're doing that they back off.  Still, it's something to keep in mind.  That was just my one experience. 

Now, another thing to consider is the policy they have to keep you there the whole 2 days or whatever it is.  The military hospital told me I could not go home sooner than two days unless I signed that "against doctors orders" paper.  They did make me feel upset about that.  The last thing you want on such a special day is to feel that kind of tension and disapproval from people who thing you are making a "bad medical decision" as though you're a bad parent! 

[Nursingnaturalmom]

We are expecting #6 at the end of July and we too are throwing around the idea of "oops' didn't make it.  I had the last 3 at home and its SO HARD to think about going to a hosptial. I really do like the midwife I"m seeing nad she pretty much is letting me do (or not do) whatever I want, but I still am not sure if when in labor I will be okay with riding in a car for an hour.  That all being said, I have no plans on going in to get checked out or the baby checked out the day or night of the birth.  To me, that defeats the purpose.  My Dh will know how to clean up and what to do with the placenta etc because we've had 3 at home. I might call the midwife just as a courtesy (not immediately though, i don't think) to let her know that "oops we miss it".  She already has asked a few times if I will make it, so she won't be surprised.   Or not.....

[Nursingnaturalmom]

Isn't it amazing how each hospital is so different?  My midwife at the hospital I'm supposed to show up at, said I *HAVE* to stay 4 hours.  If I leave before then I have to sign papers!!! I was blown away, I was totally thinking it was 2 days or at least 24 hours.

[ElizabethE]

Originally Posted by Greenlea 

One thing though, if you go to the hospital after you oops, I wouldn't bring the baby if you can help it.  Of the midwives and doulas I've talked to many hospitals will treat that baby with every precaution in the book since it wasn't birthed in a sterile environment.  That is not my experience, just what I've heard.

Vegetarian mother to Zephyr (3/26/09) and  Nico (11/7/10)  <---- I'm a vegetarian mom too, and I LOVE your children's names! They're actually on my list. Also, I have a March 2009 baby boy too (I assumed your Zephyr was a boy), and your Nico was born right around my birthday. That's all. I just thought that was very cool.

[ElizabethE]

At my second hospital birth, the one where it was an at-home turned transfer with midwives, they actually asked if I wanted to leave early because they knew I was an intended home birth. I actually didn't want to. I was enjoying recovering and being pampered, and they weren't doing anything invasive with the baby or anything I was against, so I was a little reluctant to leave. But, I left a day early, I think it was. I needed the recovery though, 'cause the experience had been hard on me AND I was actually in pain.

[laohaire]

I did not have or plan an oops, but just wanted to reply about the consideration of not bringing your baby in if you go to get checked out. Unfortunately all hospitals are different, so you just can't know what the best thing to do is. I had a midwife-assisted home birth, and I went to the hospital afterwards to get stitched up. I did not bring my baby - I was afraid of what they would do to her. Turned out ok, but I did hear that they were really concerned about it and were considering reporting it. I guess their concern was that I'd obviously just ahad a baby, and where was she? Like maybe I'd had a stillbirth I wasn't reporting (yeah, like someone as high as I was - I was seriously happy - had a dead baby at home). Or maybe something even more sinister I don't even want to consider. Well, it turned out ok for me to not bring my baby, but even that may be a gamble of sorts.

If I had a homebirth again, whether an oops or with a midwife, I think I would call my local visiting nurse organization and have one come by the next day. Then I would feel like I had my butt covered medically, but also have a good amount of control (a visiting nurse isn't going to start ABX on my baby without my knowledge and consent, for example). I'm sure this isn't a solution for everyone, but my experience with the visiting nurse when DD had jaundice led me to feel this was an ok move. But I'm sure even so, you could end up with a bully for a nurse that forces you to go to the hospital or calls CPS.

There are no clear answers, and that's a huge problem in this country. If our choices are: use the medical model, opt out and hide, or opt out and be subject to retaliation by the medical model if you want/need them, that can lead to bad choices. What if you had a concern but didn't get checked out because you were afraid of what the hospital would do with your baby? What if you didn't go, but your baby needed help? What if you did go, and they did all kinds of things to punish you? I hate the idea of having a home birth and having to plot my best move to cover my butt while simultaneously being afraid. I should be able to take my unassisted or assisted home birthed child into the doc, or call a visiting nurse, without a thought if I wanted to. And I should be able to not bother if I thought there was no need for it.

[Lauren82]

I think that in my situation, things are a little different because it's a freestanding birth center. When I had my youngest there, I went home in 6 hours. They sent one of their nurses to my home the next day to do the newborn tests, check on me (bleeding, uterus, etc..) and see how breastfeeding was going.

I never knew that hospitals could be so horrible with their policies! I would be so upset if I went there and they told me I had to stay 2 days! Eeek!

[riomidwife]

Originally Posted by dayiscoming2006 
 When I had my second son in Romania, they don't even suggest a 6 week checkup. It's unheard of. I think it's just another thing that we're all roped into doing. 

 

This is primarily to do postpartum pap smears and do any emotional checking in that seems appropriate.

Originally Posted by catholic74 

 Still, ideally, I'd rather have someone with some training around and I'd especially like to have someone deal with the cord and afterbirth. I just don't want to do any of that.   So, in my mind, I thought I could "accidently" give birth at home with my husband and kids  (my husband has no problem with it.....he was the only one in attendance at the last two births...I didn't make it to the hospital with number 2 either!) , then call the hospital to let them know I'm coming in for them to do the rest,

The cord typically separates within 5 minutes of so after the birth, so would you really be able to make it in? In my experience, interfering with the placenta's expulsion can actually create excess bleeding. I understand wanting the support in the process, definitely, but by the time you welcome your baby and come back to center you're placenta will probably be sitting above your cervix waiting to be pushed out.

[mamabadger]

I have been present at four "oops" births as a doula. (These were genuine accidents, not secretly planned). For what it is worth, two of them went into the hospital to get checked afterwards, and regretted it. The other two stayed home, and were happy with their decision. 

[Greenlea]

Originally Posted by ElizabethE 

Originally Posted by Greenlea 

One thing though, if you go to the hospital after you oops, I wouldn't bring the baby if you can help it.  Of the midwives and doulas I've talked to many hospitals will treat that baby with every precaution in the book since it wasn't birthed in a sterile environment.  That is not my experience, just what I've heard.

Vegetarian mother to Zephyr (3/26/09) and  Nico (11/7/10)  <---- I'm a vegetarian mom too, and I LOVE your children's names! They're actually on my list. Also, I have a March 2009 baby boy too (I assumed your Zephyr was a boy), and your Nico was born right around my birthday. That's all. I just thought that was very cool.

Aww thanks!  Yes Zephyr is a boy. :)

[Almi]

I had a planned UC, so I didn't have a midwife.

And I definitely didn't go to the hospital after the birth.  They would have freaked out, especially because one of my twins was only 4 lbs, 2 oz.  Lol.

Anyway, it didn't even cross my mind to go to the hospital after the birth.  I felt like everything was just fine, I certainly didn't feel good enough to get up, and I most definitely didn't want to cart my tiny twins out in the cold.

Although, since my mom called the cops on me that night, some EMT's showed up eventually.  I did let them look at us (not touch), and they said we all looked great...

Other than that, I brought the girls to a pediatrician at one week of age, and just scheduled a 6-week postpartum checkup for myself.  We all checked out fine.

[~Amy~]

I'm considering an "ooops" this time.  I'll give the prenatal clinic I've been seeing a call to let them know I've given birth & to cancel my next appointment, but barring any emergency that necessitates going to the hospital, I'll just scheduled a check up for baby & I with our family doctor a few weeks later.  I'll probably need to contact Public Health for the PKU before that, though.

[Lizbiz]

I oopsed with my daughter Rosaline and it went well.  I just called a couple days after the birth and let my doctor know that I wouldn't be at my 38 week check up because my daughter came two days before.  I assured her that all went well and that I was fine, and that there was no reason to come in to the hospital because we were all happy and healthy and doing fine.  She was surprised, but eventually just congratulated me and told me to call if I needed anything.  I went in about a week later just to have her check me out and just take a look at the baby.  They were fine about the whole thing, and going in was sort of a formality. 

This happened in China though - and being an expat here... you can generally get away with some things because people expect expats to do strange things. 

[tracymom1]

When I was working at an Ob's office, we had several patients that had routine care with us and then just simply never went to the hospital for the birth. Usually they called a few days after the baby was born and said they had a homebirth and all is well. No big deal.

With my last pregnancy, I sought routine care with a group of hospital-based midwives. Around 30 weeks, I let them know I was considering a homebirth. They just said to keep them informed and that was that. At 37 weeks, I called them and cancelled my last 2 appointments, then called them again after the baby was born. I did go for a 6 week checkup because I was feeling like the postpartum depression was starting again. They were so happy that I got my VBAC on my own terms and in my own house. There were no hard feelings at all.

I don't think there is any reason to go in and get checked out right away unless there is a pressing medical issue. I did bring DD to the doc 2 days after she was born because he is super homebirth friendly and I needed a medical record for her to send off for the birth certificate. He looked at her, asked how breastfeeding was going, said "congratulations" and sent me on my way. I love him.

I would think that if you stay home to birth, then stay home unless there is an emergency. All will work out just fine!!