Originally Posted by waiting2bemommy
inally Posted by D_McG
And no, I certainly don't expect my 3 year old to be able to defend himself against an adult predator. I guess I was trying to say that no matter where you live there are risks, and that since I'm not in a position where I can move to some affluent neighborhodd (not that would necessarily be safer) I prefer not to bury my head in the sand but instead to be vigilant about watching my children, knowing who their friends are and who they are around, and arming them with knowledge. No, a 3 yr old can't ward off a grown man, but a 3 year old who scratches, bites, yells, and threatens to tell mommy is a much less appealing target than a 3 yr old who passively accepts inappropriate touching. I have no doubt that if the mom of this little girl hadn't finally stepped in, he would have continued and escalated the behavior, an she was going right along with it. There is nother little girl who lives here who is a year younger. He tried to grab her hand (I assume, I overheard her but didn't see it) yesterday and she said really loudly, "my mom will kick your a$$ if she sees you pulling on my hand. You better go pick on somebody else." LOL he doesn't so much as look her direction since then.
This is making me a little sad.
You seem to be accepting of not living in a great place, and maybe that is what you need to do for now, but please want more for yourself and your children.
No place is perfectly safe, but many places are safer. Yes, teach your children to yell and scream, but also try and find an environment where the liklihood of them having to yell and scream is less.
You need a life plan on how to live in a safer environment.
I think you handled the situation in the Op just fine - you and another mother alerted the mother that something seemed off. Kudo's - really. I would not foucs any energy on getting him evicted though - tickling under a shirt is not an offense, I doubt you would get anywhere, and really you have no proof he is a pedophile. Focus your energy on finding a way to live in an environment where you are not in such close quarters with a bunch of other people (many of whom have issues of one sort or another)
I hope I do not come across as elitist or lecturing - I lived in public housing once upon a time. On my side of the building alone, we had several drug addicts and alcoholics, several women who had been abused, one woman who did not keep an eye on her very young son, and one woman who had a teen son who threw such loud parties he almost got them evicted. One man decided the man downstairs from me was a homosexual and therefore a pedophile. So...I have been where you are somewhat. Speaking as someone who has older kids, I can tell you I am very, very glad I got out. No one should live around so many problems and drama all the time - it becomes the norm and is oh-so draining.