this can't be happening - Page 5

[Adaline'sMama]

((hugs)).

I sure do hope they dont give his visits back.

[Dr.Worm]

That is unbelievable.  I am so sorry. 

[MDCGuest01]

 We go tomorrow for a forensic type interview? Its with nurse practioner, who will examine her and also talk with her. I guess the GAL says that because I was present during all disclosures, that they are invalid. I HATE THE GAL.

So finally after 15 attempts, he finally called the CPS worker back. 15 ATTEMPTS! 4 months later he finally contacts her.

[Adaline'sMama]

I'll be looking for an update from you about the forensic exam/interview. I cant believe it's taken them so long. Is there any way you could report this GAL guy without him knowing it was you? 4 MONTHS to get back to a CPS worker for a child molestation issue is ridiculous! So, I take it you cant be present for this interview today?

[meemee]

if this isnt a sign of injustice - i dont know what is. 

there HAS to be some sort of way to complain against the GAL to the legal board. 

i just cant believe this. 

[ArtsyMomma]

Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama 

I'll be looking for an update from you about the forensic exam/interview. I cant believe it's taken them so long. Is there any way you could report this GAL guy without him knowing it was you? 4 MONTHS to get back to a CPS worker for a child molestation issue is ridiculous! So, I take it you cant be present for this interview today?

I just saw this thread today, I am so sorry you have to deal with this mama.....but I agree with Adaline'sMama - you need to report the GAL for failure to do his duty. Maybe your lawyer can request a new GAL? Maybe you can tell the judge?

[APToddlerMama]

Hugs and prayers, Mama.  GALs can really suck.  Your ex is not making himself look good by not calling CPS back.  That, at least, is a small glimmer of hope.  Also, it doesn't really matter that the GAL thinks the interviews are invalid because you were there.  They wouldn't have been conducted that way if it wasn't acceptable.  The *experts* in child abuse should be able to state that.  Hopefully the judge will realize and keep in mind that the GAL is an attorney, not an expert in sexual abuse.  That should hold more weight.  Regardless, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

[MDCGuest01]

The interview went ok today. I talked with her first(the interviewer) and we talked about history.  Then she took my daughter back, without me. She told me after that she made a full disclosure. Then they did an exam with a special scope. My daughter freaked out saying "please don't hurt me" over and over and "don't touch me" over and over. She finally settled and let her look. She said that while she didn't see external redness, she did see redness inside which would be a sign of masturbation? She said she believes her 100% and she is shocked this hasn't happened sooner. She also said that she would report everything to a investigator. I guess we'll see what happens next. She'll have her report done next week. She said she would contact CPS. I am going to call CPS tomorrow to ask how her interview with the father went and tell her how the interview went with us today.

[LoveOhm]

I am just reading this and I don't know quite what to say other than to offer a ((((HUG)))) to you and your daughter.  Hopefully this can open the door toward some closure and the healing process for your daughter (and yourself) very soon!

[Adaline'sMama]

Oh, OP, Im so glad that there is finally someone in an official position that believes your DD. ITA agree that this exam really should have been done a long time ago. Do you have any idea what the next step is? Are you waiting to find out how the interview with DD's father went? Will they give you any sort of update or is it just more time in limbo where you have no clue what is going on?

I think there is no way they will send her for visits after this exam.

[meemee]

oh mama that is so hard to read. 

i hope this gets the ball rolling faster. and your dd will never have to be alone with her dad ever again. 

[Super~Single~Mama]

Oh mama, your poor baby!  And poor you!  Much strength and love to both of you right now.  I hope that your dd can be kept safe with this new information.

[MDCGuest01]

I am really unsure what the next step is. I mean, I have an idea. I take my daughter to meet with the psychologist doing the psychological exam on May 4...I guess he just wants to talk to her casually about her time with her dad before this happened? I meet with him on May 5 and we wrap things up. I guess I get to say anything I didn't get to before. Do I tell him I am scared?

I am going to try and call my CPS worker tomorrow, but her message on her phone says she is moving to another department, so not sure what will happen with my case? I know the forensic report will be ready this week and I need to get a copy for the psychologist. I am praying it's enough?

I don't think we can get the GAL off my case though :/ I don't think it would make me look good. So I need to look up similar cases that have had visitation cut off. I don't understand how so many Dr.s can say abuse has happened and the GAL just ignores it. My daughter has disconnected from that side of her family though. She told someone she doesn't have a dad and if you ask about her brothers, she says she only has one(her dad has a son from previous marriage and a son on the way and I have a baby too).
I guess a lot rides on the psychological report. I did my best, that's what I tell myself. I was honest and I didn't talk bad about him or paint him in a terrible light. I wasn't over dramatic about the disclosure, however I did tell him I was scared about visits just because we don't know what happened and my daughter was very traumatized.

The psychological report should be done mid May.

[MovnMama]

OMG mama, couldn't read and not post. You are so so strong, and your daughter is blessed to have a mother like you, who is doing all she can to protect her. I can't even imagine what you are going through, but I'm keeping you and your LO in my thoughts. I'm also so glad that the MDC has so much good advice for you - it's lucky to have the resources here. Good luck and hugs.

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by MDCGuest01 

I am really unsure what the next step is. I mean, I have an idea. I take my daughter to meet with the psychologist doing the psychological exam on May 4...I guess he just wants to talk to her casually about her time with her dad before this happened? I meet with him on May 5 and we wrap things up. I guess I get to say anything I didn't get to before. Do I tell him I am scared?

Yes, you can tell him you are scared!  Try to keep your composure, but its perfectly normal to be scared, nervous, anxious.  He's not your therapist, so don't talk the same as you would if you were peaking to your therapist, but its completely acceptable to say something like, "I'm really scared of what will happen if he is given visitation b/c my dd is very traumatized."  I wouldn't focus on it the entire time you're there, but thats a normal feeling - if you said you were NOT scared, that would be abnormal and would raise major red flags with them.

I am going to try and call my CPS worker tomorrow, but her message on her phone says she is moving to another department, so not sure what will happen with my case? I know the forensic report will be ready this week and I need to get a copy for the psychologist. I am praying it's enough?

Call her and ask what will happen to your case.  If she doesn't answer, get in touch with someone else and ask whats happening to your case.

I don't think we can get the GAL off my case though :/ I don't think it would make me look good. So I need to look up similar cases that have had visitation cut off. I don't understand how so many Dr.s can say abuse has happened and the GAL just ignores it. My daughter has disconnected from that side of her family though. She told someone she doesn't have a dad and if you ask about her brothers, she says she only has one(her dad has a son from previous marriage and a son on the way and I have a baby too).

Try not to worry hugely about the GAL.  Judges listen to GAL's, but they also listen to experts (and the GAL is not an expert in sexual abuse) - and if ALL the experts go against the GAL, well, the judge will weigh the evidence (hopefully appropriately) and rule accordingly.

I guess a lot rides on the psychological report. I did my best, that's what I tell myself. I was honest and I didn't talk bad about him or paint him in a terrible light. I wasn't over dramatic about the disclosure, however I did tell him I was scared about visits just because we don't know what happened and my daughter was very traumatized.

The psychological report should be done mid May.

It sounds like you did just fine.  I know this whole thing is so terrifying, and we're all hoping its over soon!!!

[singin'intherain]

Fervently praying for you and dd. Please, please, please come through court system! If the justice system ever works, let it be now! I'm just sick thinking that this kind of evil has touched your sweet innocent dd. Everyone involved feels the same way, the judge will too. Here's to your GAL getting an unexpected inheritance and retiring in the Bahamas!

[MDCGuest01]

I talked to the CPS worker today. I kinda beat around the bush talking about other stuff having to do with the case and said can I ask about last wednesday? She said that she met with him and she said I need to talk to the ped about the cream she prescribed for her rash. I said well it wasn't a rash, it was unexplainable redness and she didn't prescribe anything, it was Desitin because it acted like a barrier and it was to be put on before bedtime(which he never had her overnight) and it was to be applied on the outside(who puts cream up inside of a child?). It kinda sounds like he is backtracking and trying to justify? I don't know. My blood has been boiling all day. Plus it's not the story my daughter has been giving. She sees her ped today and I plan on bringing it up in private. GRRRRRR I AM SO MAD.

[Dr.Worm]

Originally Posted by MovnMama 

OMG mama, couldn't read and not post. You are so so strong, and your daughter is blessed to have a mother like you, who is doing all she can to protect her. I can't even imagine what you are going through, but I'm keeping you and your LO in my thoughts. I'm also so glad that the MDC has so much good advice for you - it's lucky to have the resources here. Good luck and hugs.

 I agree with all of this.  You are a wonderful mother, and no matter what happens, your daughter knows that you fought for her.  She will never ever forget that you did all within your power to keep her safe.  Your love will give her strength for the rest of her life.

[Dr.Worm]

It doesn't help the way our society treats women and children.....I was watching "Dr" Phil last week and he told a mom that she should let her child see her father even though the father choked the mom and broke her wrist...and then he sells shirts on his site against domestic violence what a joke!  Until our society starts seeing abuse of all types for the evil horrible thing that it is, things like this will keep happening.  Sorry to rant OP, just makes me so angry for you.

[MDCGuest01]

So we both had interviews this week with the psychologist involved in the case. My daughter seemed ok meeting with him. This would be interview #6 in this long event. She told me he didn't believe her because he asked if she was lying :/

Anyway, I met with him. He said that he asked for her to draw her family and she drew me, her brother, her pets and herself. He asked where her dad was in the picture and she she said "I don't like my daddy, he touched my pee pee and it hurt"...he said she sounded conditioned and so calm about it...well yeah, INTERVIEW #6. He said my concerns over psycho girlfriend were valid and he wanted to meet with my daughter AGAIN to talk to her about psycho. He also said that my ex would be put through more testing, didn't say what though.

I also got a phone call from the children's justice center. That's where detectives are who interview the kids to see if they can criminally prosecute. We've been turned away twice. We had a partial interview and exam done there and they report came back with HIGHLY CONCERNING FOR CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE and maybe that's why this head detective decided to call. He is assigning it to a detective and a case number and she'll be interviewed again, but this one is SO important.

well that's all the update I have right now...