Texmati! :( Massive hugs to you lady!
I have very fast births (5mins pushing with DD1 though she was crowning before i began to push, 6mins with DD2 and that was from 0 station to out!) and persistent OA babies (neither turned to deliver their shoulders and instead came out with them side to side). After DD1 for about 10 days i would just flood urine without any warning. My MW told me that it was likely that my bladder was "shocked and numbed" by the suddenness of the baby passing it. For me that seemed to be true, by 14days PP i had some warning (i.e. i was thinking "i need to pee?" when it ran down my leg instead of having no clue), by 8 weeks i was mostly back to normal, and by 4months i was completely back to normal. I was RELIGIOUS about my PF exercises though, and bought a little plastic resistance device to help (i should really be using it now!).
After DD2 i have a rectocele, but my GP told me it's not severe and we need to wait and see if it heals, since he feels the fascia is stretched, not torn. I was not happy to hear this (felt like my BM was trying to come out of my vagina whenever i went - sorry, TMI, but there it is!) but to be fair i'm nearly 8months PP now and he's right, it doesn't seem happen any more. After DD2 i also had incontinence issues. I found them totally humiliating and so so disheartening. Just miserable. But again, they resolved mostly within weeks and completely within months.
I know you probably don't want to read "months" when it comes to this sort of issue, but the reality is that the recovery from pregnancy and birth (vaginal or surgical) takes years to be complete. Please please give yourself time. I really hope your Ob starts listening to you, or you find someone who will. I second the recommendation to get checked for a fistula (if you can locate your own urethra you should be able to feel if it's coming from there or the vagina or both - maybe a mirror could help?) JIC. Hang on, things WILL improve.