4.5m Baby miserable with Daytime naps

[MakesThree3]

My 4.5m bubs is struggling at the moment.

Background info:

* She's breastfed only, and cloth diapered (and has no rash).

* Possibly teething; has a white dot on bottom of gum, not bottom left tooth but one more to the left, and also same dot top right tooth. Drooling and rubbing her gums with everything she can grab. Started week and half ago.

* Just went past recession/wonder week, where she also learnt to roll over.

* We've always co-slept in bed at night, and I hold her for naps in the day.

* Lounge room curtains open, and tv on in evening/weekend days.

* In bed overnight from 10pm to 12 midday, with about 10-11hrs sleep.

* Stopped feeding to sleep in daytime about 3 weeks ago, except for maybe 1 nap a day. Dunno why!

* Daytime sleep USED to be: Up for 2hr, sleep 30min, up for 1hr, sleep for 1hr, then up 2hrs sleep 20min, then up for 1.5-2hr sleep for 20min, then get ready for bed 9.30, in at 10, and be asleep before 11pm. So she's awake from 11.30am to 11pm. So 4 naps worth 2 1/4 hours-ish.

* Block feeds (2.5hr a side).

* Sleeps in babyhawk after 30-50mins of me moving constantly, BUT:

* I have Chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia - so physical effort is torturous.

* She has mild silent reflux, but it's better now, and I keep her head elevated.

* If I put her down or try to feed her to sleep in bed during the day she'll get upset.

* She does the crunches and grunting during the day when not upset/sleepy, too.

* Night time sleep is still normal for her.

My daughter is now fighting every daytime nap. She's up for 1hr-1hr.5 before showing tired signs, so I feed her in hopes she'll feed to sleep, but she just eats then when she gets sleepy starts bellowing, grunting, rolling away from boob (she's laying on my lap) and does 'crunches', as well as doing teething signs (hands in mouth).

So I give up on feeding her once she does that and refuses boob, and sit with her on the exercise ball, gently bouncing. Then when she gets sleepy there, she starts again with almost crying, crunches, grunting, mouthing me. Often she cries the most right before closing her eyes. If she finally sleeps I move back to my chair, where if she stirs in her sleep I feed her back down. She's now only sleeping a max. of 45min, but with 20-30min being more usual, and she's dropped down from 4 to 3 naps. Average hours roughly 1.5hr, but changes daily, just like the timing of her sleeps do now.

Help!

What's going on?

It can take me 1-2hr to get her to sleep.

If I entertain her, or move around, or go out, she's fine and smiley for the most part, for awhile anyway.

What could the crunches with grunting mean?

Why did she stop feeding to sleep in daytime 1.5-2 weeks before teething?

Is this just all teething?

How long will it last?

She's obviously exhausted!

I'm miserable :(

[Knitting Mama]

Have you tried starting to get her down sooner? Sometimes when they show signs of being tired, it's already too late and they're overly tired.

[Amanda_Reyasmom]

Lila's a terrible napper, unless I take her to bed.  I was resistant at first because I could be *doing* something, but really, I don't *DO* anything.. I cuddle a fussy baby if I'm downstairs.  If I take her to bed for a nap we're both more rested. 

[HappyMonkey]

Have you thought about trying to nurse her to sleep again and see if that helps?

With my LO she did nap on my lap for ages, but I started needing to take her into the dark bedroom at some point..  she never naps on my lap now. Maybe you're just there?

[angela67j]

My lo very similar at 4.5 months and she cut her first tooth around the same time too! I had no idea she was until I saw it....she didn't drool a lot she was just extra fussy, wouldn't sleep well, would not let me put her down, and nursed extra.  When I saw the tooth I felt such relief I thought maybe she was going to be like this forever (first time mom ).  I rocked her while she took her most of her naps till almost 6 months.  Then it seemed like all of a sudden she started to take great naps two two hour naps a day.  Not sure what changed but I thought I would live in my rocker.  So maybe it is just a phase....

[sk8boarder15]

Sounds just like my ds who is almost 4.5mo. Once he hits two hours of being awake I start the nap process, nurse, burp, then rocking/bouncing or a car ride. If I wait till he acts tired he SCREAMS! And its an hour of screaming till hes asleep!

[porcelina]

I think OP says baby WON'T nurse to sleep! This is exactly what mine does! Except I don't think he EVER nursed to sleep!

Originally Posted by HappyMonkey 

Have you thought about trying to nurse her to sleep again and see if that helps?

With my LO she did nap on my lap for ages, but I started needing to take her into the dark bedroom at some point..  she never naps on my lap now. Maybe you're just there?

My bub is just over 4 months as well. He also usually wakes during the light sleep cycle. We have managed to get 45 minutes out of each nap, instead of 20-30 mins. Sometimes, and only sometimes, he makes it through that light sleep cycle and goes another 45 mins to an hour (and sometimes more). But, that's unusual. We have to put him to sleep gently bouncing on the exercise ball. What is absolutely key for us is the swaddle. Also, we have a pregnancy pillow that I put in a circle so that he sleeps in a little nest (I know, not supposed to have pillows, but this one is not cushy, and he's swaddled. And, we get more sleep out of him! Our bouncing includes that head jiggling mentioned by Harvey Karp in Happiest baby. Then, as soon as he is relaxed, eyes close, then we put him in his little nest in a bassinet. It makes him feel snuggled, I think. As soon as he starts to stir, I go in, and try to get him to keep sleeping. Sometimes he'll take paci and keep sleeping, but usually not. Sometimes I can bounce him back down.

So, anyway, it definitely sounds like yours needs MORE sleep! Is he exhausted during the day? Fussy? You said you are holding him for naps? And he still only lasts 20 mins? That's very odd! Is there something stimulating her, like noise? The fact that she'll go down in the babyhawk with movement suggests maybe she would do better swaddled. Maybe you could try a large blanket? Also, try to get her right when she starts showing the tired signs, rather than waiting, and supposedly, they go down easier (though not sure if that has been true in my experience!). One thing that has helped us is actually spacing out feedings. Now that they are 4 months, they can go 3 or more hours between feedings. I know sometimes it's hard if they are used to feeding every 2 hrs, but I think that is part of what interrupts their sleeping! Also, I would just give up on nursing to sleep. In my bub's case, it just wakes him up more. He nurses better when he's sleeping/drowsy! So sometimes I will nurse him after the first 45 mins, when he's sleepy, and he will do better, sometimes going back down. If you can get on a 3 hour feeding cycle (more or less), you could do nurse when wake up, then try to get to sleep after 1-1.5 hrs when shows tired signs, then do best to extend naps doing everything but nursing, and then finally nurse at the end.

As far as the crunches go, I think that's just what they are learning developmentally, so they want to do it all the time. I try to rock with my LO sitting up to get him calm before getting him swaddled and in a side position on the ball (with paci). Maybe try to do physical activity before sleep (tummy time, crunches, etc.) to tire him out physically first? I know my first LO wanted to do things like crawl when it was new to him and he was supposed to be sleeping. My 4 month old also does the crunches. The grunting most likely is just the concentration of exertion (though in some cases, it could be poop -- do you practice EC?).

Good luck!