So sad and conflicted.

[EveningGoddess]

AH the boobahs...that is what my son, Julian calls my breasts.

There were times that hearing "boobah" made me cringe.

He just was teh biggest boobah addict around.

It was becoming a power trip,even early on, (after he turned one-befoe that, he was just doing waht he needed)Jules was very demanding about boobah.

Just the manner he used to get it (demand it) was intense.

He wouldn't take no for an answer, and was not patient about it.

I started to get frustrated at times with having to do something I really didn't want to do. (it wasn't that I was against nursing him EVERY time, but the upset was happening daily.)

It was worst during times when I was feeling depressed or anxious, I'd ,end up feeling violated because he wouldn't take no for an answer.

Jules turned three On January 4th. That week, I stopped giving him his beloved boobah.

In the last few weeks, he's asked to just "suck" them a few times..but most of the time, he just asks to hold them. I think that is so cute,and of course,I let him. He'll give them little kisses as he falls asleep, and its the sweetest,more tender thing ever.

I know he'd love to still nurse.

And right now, I'm really missing it.

I feel lonely. I feel sad. I feel like my baby is growing up too fast,and that I just ended the most special thing we've ever shared. I feel like a bad mum, because nursing Jules was something I felt made me a good mum.

I just dont know what to do, and now I'm crying.

I'm so conflicted. On one hand, I'm so happy it's over and that I don't have to feel grumpy or bitter or resentful about something that is so wonderful. One the other, I feel like I just ended the most important bonding experience we'll ever have and that I wasn't really ready.

Whats a mama to do?

I am just lost on how to work through these feelings.

[April420]

Did you feel pressure to wean from others or were you just surprised at yourself for missing it? If you feel like you made a mistake, you could always reintroduce nursing to him.  If he wants to and you want to, then I don't see a problem. It sounds like he would begin nursing again in a heartbeat...if that's what you BOTH want...then I say go for it.  It all depends on whether YOU think it's the right thing or not...do you think you could let him self-wean or do you think you better leave things be the way they are now?