will night weaning help to decrease night waking?

[lostchick]

Hello.  I am feeling very frustrated and sleep deprived.  I have a 16 month old beautiful baby boy that only sleeps 1-2 hours at a stretch.  We cosleep and when he wakes I nurse him back to sleep because it is just the easiest way for me to get him to go back to sleep.  I, unfortunately, am not one of those lucky moms that can easily drift off to sleep while baby nurses so this leads to me getting sleep in 1/2 to 1 hour chunks all night every night.  He has never slept well.  My husband, when I ask for help gets very frustrated.  He thinks we should just put him in his crib at night.  This morning after waking every hour, I asked him for help, and he put him in his crib.  He screamed until I went to get him.  He is very good at climbing and not only do I not want him in there screaming, I am also afraid that he will climb out and hurt himself.  My husband says that I should just go sleep in another room and he will get him to sleep and doesn't understand when I just cannot do that.  I feel like I do nothing but cry all the time because I'm so tired.  I also have a 9 year old daughter who slept beautifully in her crib from 3 weeks until 4 when she went to her big bed.  I feel like I am failing her as a mother because I'm too tired during the day.  It is just a bad situation all around.  Right now, I'm leaning towards night weaning him myself to see if that will help, but I'm scared that A) I will fail and B) it wont help him to stop night waking.  I don't know what to do.  Have any of you all had success with night weaning to help their child sleep better?  Any advice or helpful stories would be greatly appreciated. TIA 

[D_McG]

I think more often than not, it helps.  Sometimes it doesn't but could it really be much worse than it is now?  You could always go back to night nursing if it doesn't help.  For both of my kids it was magic.  They both STTN as soon as I weaned them.

[lostchick]

thank you.  That is nice to hear.  Did your kids sleep with you?  I'm wondering if that makes a difference.  thanks again.

[D_McG]

Yes!  Before and after.  My 2 year old who I weaned last summer still sleeps with me.  My son slept with me for a few months after until I moved him out in preparation for his sister.

[Baby_Cakes]

I'm going to say...eventually.  I nightweaned DD at around 14 months. 

It's tough to nightwean b/c you have to physically somehow get them back to sleep w/o nursing, and nursing is soooo easy that you just want to give in.  I'd say it took a couple of weeks (2, maybe 3) to be able to shush DD back to sleep without getting up to rock or sing, just a pat on the back or a flip over to the other side and snuggle.

We did Dr Jay Gordon's method (you can google it) with a few tweaks here and there.  Sometimes I had to recruit DH after the 3rd or 4th wake up with rocking.  DD was a stinker and would literally fall right asleep on DH and sleep for a few hours!  But I only wanted to get him involved if I had to.  He worked outside the home at the time and would only call him if I really needed him.  

DD bed shared with me the whole time.  It's possible.  We didn't move her to her own bed/room until she was 2.

And now at 2 (just so you see light at the end of this tunnel) she usually STTN!  LOL!

[lostchick]

thank you.  I love hearing stories or those who have moved to the other side!  :)  very inspirational.  

[Peony]

Nope. Both my girls nightweaned themselves, this was over 2 years ago for DD2 and she still wakes up at night. Someday....

[Amber Lion]

You story sounds very familiar, Mama!  I couldn't fall asleep while nursing either, I had to just lay there and grit my teeth until I thought my DD was asleep enough to pop her off - and she woke up about every 45 min to 2 hours all night long.  Gosh, I could just cry remembering it!

We did the Jay Gordon nightweaning with our own twists when she was 18 months, I think we stretched the very beginning out longer than he says.  I was convinced going into it that it wouldn't work and had put off trying since she was about 13  months, but was at the end of my rope.  I was astonished when it was not nearly as traumatic as I was expecting.  We continued to cosleep and I continued to be the one with her so that the only thing changing would be what comfort she was receiving. 

Within that weaning period she cut down on her wakings, but they didn't disappear completely.  I think she prob woke up every 3-5 hrs at that point, which honestly felt like heaven.  Also, by the end of the weaning period all I had to do was either a) pull her onto my tummy b) roll over and cuddle or c) sing to get her back to sleep - also heaven for a Mama who couldn't sleep at all while nursing.  We could both just comfortably drift back to sleep.

Now at 27 months, she still cosleeps and wakes up 1-3 times, but all after about 7-9 hours of sleep and that's because we used the "you can nurse when the sun comes up" thing and she really held me to it - now as soon as there is any light in the sky whatsoever she wakes up for her boobie and I'm willing to give it to her usually since I've gotten a good night's sleep at that point and I can get another few hours out of her if I do.

Good luck Mama!  There is a light at the end of the tunnel, don't be afraid to meet your own needs for sleep too! 

[lostchick]

Yay! I love hearing stories about the "light at the end of the tunnel" . I have to work all weekend so we are gonna start trying Monday. I am very nervous. I guess I won't know until I try, but still nervous. Lately, he has been popping himself off, turning over and going to sleep a lot more than he used to, so I'm hoping that is a good sign that he is ready. Sometimes even after nursing he will sit up sometimes even get out of bed (mattress on the floor) and wander around the room. Ugh. I hope that that too will stop. We shall see! Thanks again!

[Amber Lion]

I think the biggest thing is to remain consistent.  You have to make the decision to nightwean and mean it, b/c if it's too hard on night 3 and you give up then you're right back where you started.  It helped for me to have an idea of what behavior would be "too much" for me, i.e. I would decide DD wasn't ready and back off.  For me that was crying, even in arms, for 1/2 hour - if that happened over a few nights, ever single time, I'd back off.  But it never did.  So I knew that even though maybe she cried for 15 mintues every time the first nights, that I was still moving forward.  Again, good luck!