When Babies Get Frustrated?

[Calliope84]

I'm just wondering what you all do when your babe gets frustrated when trying to learn a new skill. Tummy time seems to frustrate my 8 week old quite a lot. She will start making her "frustrated" noises and if I don't get to her right away it escalates to crying. She can hold her head up pretty steadily and push up on her arms a bit but she seems to be frustrated because she can't move forward. She can't roll, either, on purpose. She likes when I put her on a bolster pillow to look down at her playmat, but eventually she starts trying to roll forward on that, too and gets mad.

I know learning new skills takes practice and can be very frustrating... When do you intervene and when do you let the baby keep trying? I don't want her getting frustrated because she is trying to do something she definitely isn't developmentally ready to do, but there might be things she can do but it will take her a little practice and experimenting.

If I am confused about what to do, now, I am going to be really confused when she is trying to do things (like play with a toy) when she is a toddler and she gets frustrated. I have no clue when to intervene. I want to show her how to do things, but a lot of stuff she has to learn on her own to help her grow. I stupidly thought that babies had this thing where they happily would try things over and over again until they got it, but obviously not lol.

What do you do?

[Knitting Mama]

When it came to tummy time, my daughter hated it so much she'd cry hysterically every time I put her on her tummy. I just didn't do it after a while. It's one of those things where they can gain the same benefits from doing other things-- in the case of tummy time, wearing a baby upright and having the baby lay on you when you are laying down-- so why stress them out with doing something they clearly dislike? For the record, while she wasn't an early crawler, Cecilia was crawling by 8 months, so I don't think her lack of tummy time caused any damage.

Frustration, to me, is different. Frustration is where we are right now (oh god, we're there). She'll try to do something repeatedly, and get frustrated when it doesn't go the way she wants it to. Example: This is thankfully better now, but when she was learning how to crawl well, she figured out how to move backwards pretty quickly, but just couldn't figure out how to move forwards. That was real frustration right there. I would get pretty agitated too, wishing that I could magically help her move better. Obviously that's not possible, but what I would do was get right down there with her and verbally encourage her. When she would take one tentative crawl forward, I would praise her until I felt like a fool-- you know, the high pitched, loud voice, etc. And I would encourage her with things she loves but isn't supposed to play with, like my cell phone and the remote.

So, to answer your question, I will let Cecilia try things 4 or 5 times before intervening if it's something she's clearly trying to do (I can tell when she's focusing on something, she's a stubborn one!) and I can see that she's made progress from when she started trying to do whatever it is. If she can't do it at all, and really shouldn't be expected to at her developmental level, like trying to open her little rice cracker package when she wants one, I just calmly take it and talk to her about what I am doing ("See, Mama's opening the package like this, and look! Now you can have one!" etc).

[goinggreengirl]

I never let my son cry. If he didn't like tummy time, I didn't force it. He's 10 months and about to walk so I don't think things need to be pushed to the point of tears for them to learn! A little fussing is okay when they are older but at 8 weeks, I wouldn't have let him. Tummy time can also be done on your chest. When you hold the baby upright on your chest and they push off- it's doing the same thing tummy time is supposed to do. Babies learn it all eventually, they don't have to be frustrated to learn it.

[mra]

Julia is almost five weeks. We do tummy time on her mat for a few minutes each day. I stop if she gets frustrated. We also do tummy time on my stomach but it works better on my husband because he is wider.

[maia.springgoddess]

 Have you tried tummy time on a smooth surface such as wood or linoleum? None of my kids are crawling yet, but my 6.5 month old loves to push herself backwards across the kitchen. Her legs aren't quite coordinated, but boy are her arms getting a workout!

In terms of letting them get fussy/frustrated: I strive for that magical moment between a healthy challenge and utter frustration. When I can see the wheels in their brain turning, but right before they give up is when I pick them up for a big snuggle and change of scene.

[Calliope84]

Thanks! That magical moment sounds right to me. Even my 8 week old is definitely learning a lot during these times. She was pushing herself forward (my hands against her feet) during tummy time today. She actually lasted quite awhile today. I think she actually gets plenty of tummy time because she is an in arms babe and she is in her sling and pouches a lot. But she is pushing herself up and investigating her play mat and I want her to do that, too. You definitely can see her brain working as she studies things. It is cool. (Of course, she also loves being carried around buddha carry style. She tries to lean out of the pouch and see things better, like when I wash my hands and the water is running lol.) I know she is learning every where.