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College attempting to ban breastfeeding in class - Page 2

post #21 of 144

Instead of launching to the defensive in a formal complaint, perhaps you could contact your college's accessability office. You will be medically disabled for at least 6 weeks PP and there are federal and state laws in place to help you have fair access to your classes, regardless of whether or not you are breastfeeding. This could include someone videotaping lectures, a scribe to take notes for you and make-up exam times.

post #22 of 144

Some ideas:

Can you work ahead? Would it be possible to get everything (or as much as humanly possible) done and turned in prior to the birth of the baby?

Could you work from home? Is actual in-class attendance mandatory? Could you have someone tape/audio record the lectures for you?

What about the possibility of taking an Incomplete? You would work out a plan with the professor, receive an "I" on your grade report, and when all of your classwork is complete, that "I" would change to your actual grade (so it would probably delay graduation 1 term -- and you'd graduate in August instead of May).

 

I've worked at 5 different colleges (a move accounts for some of that, but mostly it's just that an adjunct instructor has to pick up classes here and there) and every single one has had a strict "no children in class" policy.  As an instructor, I would be very pro-BF, but I would still have to enforce the campus policy -- and if I didn't, not only could students complain, it could cost me a contract for the next semester.

 

If I were in your shoes as a student, I would nurse the baby in the hallway (or an empty classroom or a lounge close by) immediately before going in to class, hand her off to DH, let him wear her walking around (and it'll be nice outside), and if he needs you to feed her, he can send you a text and you can step quietly out. Let your instructor know ahead of time that you might duck out in the middle of class or towards the end, and just do it in a way that is not disruptive (take a seat in the back by the door, for example). Then I'd pray the that the baby slept until you got out (and after a feeding, being worn, and being outside, mine would).

post #23 of 144


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by lach View Post

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by ~pi View Post

As an academic, I don't think a baby who fusses momentarily with a responsive mama who immediately starts nursing and/or whisks him/her out of the room is that much more distracting than a cell phone ringing, for example. Interruptions happen. The class doesn't lose all of its pedagogical value simply because there was a momentary disruption.

 


I've never taken a college or graduate level class where cell phones weren't strictly prohibited.  Are you suggesting that a cell phone call in the middle of class isn't distracting? 

 

 

Of course I am not saying that a cell phone call isn't distracting; I am saying that a minor distraction really should not be the end of the world.

 

Note that especially in health care, sometimes people cannot turn their devices off because they are on call and may need to deal with an urgent clinical concern. It happens, it's a very minor distraction, and then everyone moves on.

post #24 of 144
Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverLace View Post

Because the baby is coming in the middle of the semester (not the best timing... but the baby is already on his/her way), and the school also doesn't allow missing class for maternity leave.... I am not sure what I am supposed to do.  If my grades are going to suffer because I be given permission to make work up I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place.  I will have to go back as soon as possible, but I don't think it is good for a tiny baby (1-2 weeks old) to be away from me.

 

I guess I am surprised to hear that people think the baby would be a distraction.  Newborn sleep the majority of the time and are often otherwise breastfeeding.  I agree that it could be disruptive for my husband to have to be outside the class with the baby... but if I can't miss class and I can't have the baby with me I am not sure what else to do.  There is no day care and even if there was I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving such a young baby in one.  For successful breastfeeding and to build the best supply, early on-cue feeding is the best method and I just don't think I should have to sacrifice that.  I am ready to be mindful of other students and the class as a whole, I just think that my baby's health and a successful nursing relationship are life long issues to consider.


THis.  I am always surprised when people claim a  baby would be a distraction, especially a newborn.  What if people adjusted their idea of "distraction" to include the normal (quiet) noises of a newborn.  People clear their throats, their phones might accidentally go off, etc... wuld a baby really make more noise than that?  Doubtful.

post #25 of 144
Quote:
Originally Posted by lach View Post

Some newborns sleep all the time, and some don't.  And you don't know what you're going to get until the baby's here.  And a newborn who sleeps the whole first week may "wake up" the second.  And some newborns only sleep when being carried by a moving person.  Do you really think that you pacing up and down the back of the classroom shushing and humming won't be distracting? 

 

Not to mention: your plan is about being able to BF on demand... waking up and making noise is how babies tell you they're hungry.

 

I'm sorry, but the policy sounds reasonable to me.  I would be very annoyed if I was paying expensive college tuition and there were children hanging around the class.  You're probably just going to have to pump and hope that the baby's sleepy stretch is when you have class.  It's not ideal, but plenty of women do it.  Having someone bring the fussy baby into the middle of class so you can feed it really isn't going to work.

 

How long is class?  My college classes were mostly an hour, with a few that were an hour and a half.  If you feed right before class, it will probably be fine.


Regarding the bolded.  Crying is a late signal of hunger.  There are many cues that happen before a baby starts crying to indicate hubnger, like rooting, putting fists in mouth, all nice and quiet.

post #26 of 144


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by ~pi View Post

As an academic, I don't think a baby who fusses momentarily with a responsive mama who immediately starts nursing and/or whisks him/her out of the room is that much more distracting than a cell phone ringing, for example. Interruptions happen. The class doesn't lose all of its pedagogical value simply because there was a momentary disruption.

 

OP, you are definitely between a rock and a hard place since there are 6-8 of you. If you were the only student in this position, it would be much easier to talk to your profs and work something out. With so many, it's very difficult for them to make an exception for one person.

 

That said, I strongly suspect that the concern is less about having babies in class at all, and more about having babies in class without anyone to take them outside and away from the class. You may want to discuss your own personal plan, i.e., having a caregiver right outside in case you need to hand the baby off, and so on, and see if they are OK with that.

 

I also agree with others who suggest that in the worst case scenario, have your caregiver outside with the baby, and you go out when babe needs to nurse. And pumping and bottlefeeding for a few hours here and there may be a workable approach. Not ideal, but workable. How often and how long are your classes? That would be the deciding factor for me.

 

Good luck to you.



Should have read ahead - great post!

post #27 of 144
Quote:
Originally Posted by swede View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverLace View Post

Because the baby is coming in the middle of the semester (not the best timing... but the baby is already on his/her way), and the school also doesn't allow missing class for maternity leave.... I am not sure what I am supposed to do.  If my grades are going to suffer because I be given permission to make work up I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place.  I will have to go back as soon as possible, but I don't think it is good for a tiny baby (1-2 weeks old) to be away from me.

 

I guess I am surprised to hear that people think the baby would be a distraction.  Newborn sleep the majority of the time and are often otherwise breastfeeding.  I agree that it could be disruptive for my husband to have to be outside the class with the baby... but if I can't miss class and I can't have the baby with me I am not sure what else to do.  There is no day care and even if there was I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving such a young baby in one.  For successful breastfeeding and to build the best supply, early on-cue feeding is the best method and I just don't think I should have to sacrifice that.  I am ready to be mindful of other students and the class as a whole, I just think that my baby's health and a successful nursing relationship are life long issues to consider.


THis.  I am always surprised when people claim a  baby would be a distraction, especially a newborn.  What if people adjusted their idea of "distraction" to include the normal (quiet) noises of a newborn.  People clear their throats, their phones might accidentally go off, etc... wuld a baby really make more noise than that?  Doubtful.


mine made a lot more noise than that.  No way could I have brought kiddo to a college class as a newborn.  there is no saying whether or not OP's newborn will be the picturesque quiet newborn or a newborn like mine or many other newborns I have known.

 

Moreover, if I pay good money to attend college and earn a degree, I WOULD probably be distracted by a baby.  I get distracted just by other students fidgeting around.  I didn't pay to go to class with a newborn who may or may not just sleep and/or be very quiet.  There are plenty of options for OP to explore before bringing her baby to class.

post #28 of 144

I can see why they would say no Children in these types of rooms. If your taking a test or listening to a lecture, and someone has their baby with them that starts screaming that would not be good other students won't be able to hear or concentrate. Plus you want to do good in school and a crying baby while being postpartum is a huge stressful distraction. Also you don't want your new born around all the germs that may be present. Maybe see if your School offers on-line classes. My college does and that is how I'm finishing school. I get to spend the whole day at home with my baby girl. I don't have to drag her around a collage or to a sitters. Also even if they have daycare again you don't want your new born around kid germs. Germs spread like wild fire through kids at daycare. You also mentioned having your DH or mom at school with you? To help outside the classroom? If your mom is retired she can stay at home with the baby and you can pump and leave breast milk with your mom. I know this is not what you wanted to hear, its not the help you were looking for. But these may be the only other options. 

 

 

I hope this helped a little and all honesty on-line school is wonderful when you have a family. 

post #29 of 144

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by treeoflife3 View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by swede View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverLace View Post

Because the baby is coming in the middle of the semester (not the best timing... but the baby is already on his/her way), and the school also doesn't allow missing class for maternity leave.... I am not sure what I am supposed to do.  If my grades are going to suffer because I be given permission to make work up I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place.  I will have to go back as soon as possible, but I don't think it is good for a tiny baby (1-2 weeks old) to be away from me.

 

I guess I am surprised to hear that people think the baby would be a distraction.  Newborn sleep the majority of the time and are often otherwise breastfeeding.  I agree that it could be disruptive for my husband to have to be outside the class with the baby... but if I can't miss class and I can't have the baby with me I am not sure what else to do.  There is no day care and even if there was I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving such a young baby in one.  For successful breastfeeding and to build the best supply, early on-cue feeding is the best method and I just don't think I should have to sacrifice that.  I am ready to be mindful of other students and the class as a whole, I just think that my baby's health and a successful nursing relationship are life long issues to consider.


THis.  I am always surprised when people claim a  baby would be a distraction, especially a newborn.  What if people adjusted their idea of "distraction" to include the normal (quiet) noises of a newborn.  People clear their throats, their phones might accidentally go off, etc... wuld a baby really make more noise than that?  Doubtful.


mine made a lot more noise than that.  No way could I have brought kiddo to a college class as a newborn.  there is no saying whether or not OP's newborn will be the picturesque quiet newborn or a newborn like mine or many other newborns I have known.

 

Moreover, if I pay good money to attend college and earn a degree, I WOULD probably be distracted by a baby.  I get distracted just by other students fidgeting around.  I didn't pay to go to class with a newborn who may or may not just sleep and/or be very quiet.  There are plenty of options for OP to explore before bringing her baby to class.


so, how do you handle that?  Do you ask the school to ban fidgeting?

post #30 of 144
Quote:
Originally Posted by swede View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by lach View Post

Some newborns sleep all the time, and some don't.  And you don't know what you're going to get until the baby's here.  And a newborn who sleeps the whole first week may "wake up" the second.  And some newborns only sleep when being carried by a moving person.  Do you really think that you pacing up and down the back of the classroom shushing and humming won't be distracting? 

 

Not to mention: your plan is about being able to BF on demand... waking up and making noise is how babies tell you they're hungry.

 

I'm sorry, but the policy sounds reasonable to me.  I would be very annoyed if I was paying expensive college tuition and there were children hanging around the class.  You're probably just going to have to pump and hope that the baby's sleepy stretch is when you have class.  It's not ideal, but plenty of women do it.  Having someone bring the fussy baby into the middle of class so you can feed it really isn't going to work.

 

How long is class?  My college classes were mostly an hour, with a few that were an hour and a half.  If you feed right before class, it will probably be fine.


Regarding the bolded.  Crying is a late signal of hunger.  There are many cues that happen before a baby starts crying to indicate hubnger, like rooting, putting fists in mouth, all nice and quiet.

you're right.. crying is usually a late sign of hunger.  However, mine stopped doing those things on her own without fussing first after just a couple weeks.  I had to touch her cheek to see if she'd root for my finger to determine whether her starting to fuss was hunger or something else.  and I was obsessively watching her so I'm positive I wasn't just missing cues.  She just turned to fussing first after a couple of weeks.  Its not crying, but it would have been distracting to a college lecture.  It is outside the OP's window of concern but by 3 months she stopped showing hunger signs altogether actually, rooting for my finger on her cheek included.  I had to start putting her to the breast at any fussiness as well as watch the clock to determine how long it had been since her last feeding.  and if I was wrong?  She'd often start crying at the breast.  She also wouldn't comfort nurse as a newborn (within that 6 weeks.)  If I tried to put her to the breast when she didn't want to eat... she'd cry.

 

OP needs a back up plan beyond 'bring baby to class' because even if it were allowed, that does NOT mean she'll be able to keep up with it.  newborns aren't like on tv.  They aren't all silent other than the two minutes you see them on camera.
 

post #31 of 144


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by swede View Post

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by treeoflife3 View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by swede View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverLace View Post

Because the baby is coming in the middle of the semester (not the best timing... but the baby is already on his/her way), and the school also doesn't allow missing class for maternity leave.... I am not sure what I am supposed to do.  If my grades are going to suffer because I be given permission to make work up I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place.  I will have to go back as soon as possible, but I don't think it is good for a tiny baby (1-2 weeks old) to be away from me.

 

I guess I am surprised to hear that people think the baby would be a distraction.  Newborn sleep the majority of the time and are often otherwise breastfeeding.  I agree that it could be disruptive for my husband to have to be outside the class with the baby... but if I can't miss class and I can't have the baby with me I am not sure what else to do.  There is no day care and even if there was I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving such a young baby in one.  For successful breastfeeding and to build the best supply, early on-cue feeding is the best method and I just don't think I should have to sacrifice that.  I am ready to be mindful of other students and the class as a whole, I just think that my baby's health and a successful nursing relationship are life long issues to consider.


THis.  I am always surprised when people claim a  baby would be a distraction, especially a newborn.  What if people adjusted their idea of "distraction" to include the normal (quiet) noises of a newborn.  People clear their throats, their phones might accidentally go off, etc... wuld a baby really make more noise than that?  Doubtful.


mine made a lot more noise than that.  No way could I have brought kiddo to a college class as a newborn.  there is no saying whether or not OP's newborn will be the picturesque quiet newborn or a newborn like mine or many other newborns I have known.

 

Moreover, if I pay good money to attend college and earn a degree, I WOULD probably be distracted by a baby.  I get distracted just by other students fidgeting around.  I didn't pay to go to class with a newborn who may or may not just sleep and/or be very quiet.  There are plenty of options for OP to explore before bringing her baby to class.


so, how do you handle that?  Do you ask the school to ban fidgeting?


I expect to deal with it if I've paid for college.  I do not expect to deal with newborns.  I didn't pay to take a class with newborns.  I expect the vast majority of my class to be about 18 and older.

post #32 of 144

Op -

 

Just wanted to encourage and support you!  Women have been doing all sorts of things throughout history with their babies nearby.  It makes me sad that even on such a progressive board as mdc, women think your only option is to pump and leave baby, or take online classes.  I think it is very worth asking your professors.  I have a friend who finished college with a newborn.  She kept baby with her in Ohio in the late 90's.  You might be surprised by your professors' responses.   Babies need their mamas.  And mamas need to keep on with their lives.  If you physically feel up to it, then I don't see any problem with taking baby with you wherEVER you go!  As to pp's suggestng that you would be distracted by your baby, I am positive that their are thousands of students who are "distracted" by far bigger things than a newborn, every day.  Like someone in their family dying, or attending university in a war zone, etc...  Humans are capable of being distracted and productive at the same time :)

post #33 of 144


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by treeoflife3 View Post


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by swede View Post

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by treeoflife3 View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by swede View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverLace View Post

Because the baby is coming in the middle of the semester (not the best timing... but the baby is already on his/her way), and the school also doesn't allow missing class for maternity leave.... I am not sure what I am supposed to do.  If my grades are going to suffer because I be given permission to make work up I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place.  I will have to go back as soon as possible, but I don't think it is good for a tiny baby (1-2 weeks old) to be away from me.

 

I guess I am surprised to hear that people think the baby would be a distraction.  Newborn sleep the majority of the time and are often otherwise breastfeeding.  I agree that it could be disruptive for my husband to have to be outside the class with the baby... but if I can't miss class and I can't have the baby with me I am not sure what else to do.  There is no day care and even if there was I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving such a young baby in one.  For successful breastfeeding and to build the best supply, early on-cue feeding is the best method and I just don't think I should have to sacrifice that.  I am ready to be mindful of other students and the class as a whole, I just think that my baby's health and a successful nursing relationship are life long issues to consider.


THis.  I am always surprised when people claim a  baby would be a distraction, especially a newborn.  What if people adjusted their idea of "distraction" to include the normal (quiet) noises of a newborn.  People clear their throats, their phones might accidentally go off, etc... wuld a baby really make more noise than that?  Doubtful.


mine made a lot more noise than that.  No way could I have brought kiddo to a college class as a newborn.  there is no saying whether or not OP's newborn will be the picturesque quiet newborn or a newborn like mine or many other newborns I have known.

 

Moreover, if I pay good money to attend college and earn a degree, I WOULD probably be distracted by a baby.  I get distracted just by other students fidgeting around.  I didn't pay to go to class with a newborn who may or may not just sleep and/or be very quiet.  There are plenty of options for OP to explore before bringing her baby to class.


so, how do you handle that?  Do you ask the school to ban fidgeting?


I expect to deal with it if I've paid for college.  I do not expect to deal with newborns.  I didn't pay to take a class with newborns.  I expect the vast majority of my class to be about 18 and older.


sorry - didn't mean to upset you.  you said you were distracted by fidgeting.  what difference does it make what is the actual distraction?

post #34 of 144


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by treeoflife3 View Post


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by swede View Post

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by treeoflife3 View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by swede View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverLace View Post

Because the baby is coming in the middle of the semester (not the best timing... but the baby is already on his/her way), and the school also doesn't allow missing class for maternity leave.... I am not sure what I am supposed to do.  If my grades are going to suffer because I be given permission to make work up I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place.  I will have to go back as soon as possible, but I don't think it is good for a tiny baby (1-2 weeks old) to be away from me.

 

I guess I am surprised to hear that people think the baby would be a distraction.  Newborn sleep the majority of the time and are often otherwise breastfeeding.  I agree that it could be disruptive for my husband to have to be outside the class with the baby... but if I can't miss class and I can't have the baby with me I am not sure what else to do.  There is no day care and even if there was I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving such a young baby in one.  For successful breastfeeding and to build the best supply, early on-cue feeding is the best method and I just don't think I should have to sacrifice that.  I am ready to be mindful of other students and the class as a whole, I just think that my baby's health and a successful nursing relationship are life long issues to consider.


THis.  I am always surprised when people claim a  baby would be a distraction, especially a newborn.  What if people adjusted their idea of "distraction" to include the normal (quiet) noises of a newborn.  People clear their throats, their phones might accidentally go off, etc... wuld a baby really make more noise than that?  Doubtful.


mine made a lot more noise than that.  No way could I have brought kiddo to a college class as a newborn.  there is no saying whether or not OP's newborn will be the picturesque quiet newborn or a newborn like mine or many other newborns I have known.

 

Moreover, if I pay good money to attend college and earn a degree, I WOULD probably be distracted by a baby.  I get distracted just by other students fidgeting around.  I didn't pay to go to class with a newborn who may or may not just sleep and/or be very quiet.  There are plenty of options for OP to explore before bringing her baby to class.


so, how do you handle that?  Do you ask the school to ban fidgeting?


I expect to deal with it if I've paid for college.  I do not expect to deal with newborns.  I didn't pay to take a class with newborns.  I expect the vast majority of my class to be about 18 and older.

the op has paid for college too.  what if her baby ISN'T a distraction?  Should she still have to forfeit her tuition?
 

post #35 of 144
Quote:
Originally Posted by swede View Post


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by treeoflife3 View Post


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by swede View Post

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by treeoflife3 View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by swede View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverLace View Post

Because the baby is coming in the middle of the semester (not the best timing... but the baby is already on his/her way), and the school also doesn't allow missing class for maternity leave.... I am not sure what I am supposed to do.  If my grades are going to suffer because I be given permission to make work up I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place.  I will have to go back as soon as possible, but I don't think it is good for a tiny baby (1-2 weeks old) to be away from me.

 

I guess I am surprised to hear that people think the baby would be a distraction.  Newborn sleep the majority of the time and are often otherwise breastfeeding.  I agree that it could be disruptive for my husband to have to be outside the class with the baby... but if I can't miss class and I can't have the baby with me I am not sure what else to do.  There is no day care and even if there was I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving such a young baby in one.  For successful breastfeeding and to build the best supply, early on-cue feeding is the best method and I just don't think I should have to sacrifice that.  I am ready to be mindful of other students and the class as a whole, I just think that my baby's health and a successful nursing relationship are life long issues to consider.


THis.  I am always surprised when people claim a  baby would be a distraction, especially a newborn.  What if people adjusted their idea of "distraction" to include the normal (quiet) noises of a newborn.  People clear their throats, their phones might accidentally go off, etc... wuld a baby really make more noise than that?  Doubtful.


mine made a lot more noise than that.  No way could I have brought kiddo to a college class as a newborn.  there is no saying whether or not OP's newborn will be the picturesque quiet newborn or a newborn like mine or many other newborns I have known.

 

Moreover, if I pay good money to attend college and earn a degree, I WOULD probably be distracted by a baby.  I get distracted just by other students fidgeting around.  I didn't pay to go to class with a newborn who may or may not just sleep and/or be very quiet.  There are plenty of options for OP to explore before bringing her baby to class.


so, how do you handle that?  Do you ask the school to ban fidgeting?


I expect to deal with it if I've paid for college.  I do not expect to deal with newborns.  I didn't pay to take a class with newborns.  I expect the vast majority of my class to be about 18 and older.


sorry - didn't mean to upset you.  you said you were distracted by fidgeting.  what difference does it make what is the actual distraction?


I find babies a great deal more distracting and harder to deal with that distraction.

as for your other post, people provided more solutions than just pump and leave baby or take online classes.  We are all sympathetic to the needs of mama and a new baby and we all support lactation rights I would assume, but that doesn't mean it is always appropriate.  Everyone else in the class deserves the right and respect to the class they paid for.  It is the OP's responsibility to find a solution that will work... not just complain about not being allowed to have a newborn in class.

post #36 of 144
Quote:
Originally Posted by swede View Post


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by treeoflife3 View Post


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by swede View Post

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by treeoflife3 View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by swede View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverLace View Post

Because the baby is coming in the middle of the semester (not the best timing... but the baby is already on his/her way), and the school also doesn't allow missing class for maternity leave.... I am not sure what I am supposed to do.  If my grades are going to suffer because I be given permission to make work up I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place.  I will have to go back as soon as possible, but I don't think it is good for a tiny baby (1-2 weeks old) to be away from me.

 

I guess I am surprised to hear that people think the baby would be a distraction.  Newborn sleep the majority of the time and are often otherwise breastfeeding.  I agree that it could be disruptive for my husband to have to be outside the class with the baby... but if I can't miss class and I can't have the baby with me I am not sure what else to do.  There is no day care and even if there was I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving such a young baby in one.  For successful breastfeeding and to build the best supply, early on-cue feeding is the best method and I just don't think I should have to sacrifice that.  I am ready to be mindful of other students and the class as a whole, I just think that my baby's health and a successful nursing relationship are life long issues to consider.


THis.  I am always surprised when people claim a  baby would be a distraction, especially a newborn.  What if people adjusted their idea of "distraction" to include the normal (quiet) noises of a newborn.  People clear their throats, their phones might accidentally go off, etc... wuld a baby really make more noise than that?  Doubtful.


mine made a lot more noise than that.  No way could I have brought kiddo to a college class as a newborn.  there is no saying whether or not OP's newborn will be the picturesque quiet newborn or a newborn like mine or many other newborns I have known.

 

Moreover, if I pay good money to attend college and earn a degree, I WOULD probably be distracted by a baby.  I get distracted just by other students fidgeting around.  I didn't pay to go to class with a newborn who may or may not just sleep and/or be very quiet.  There are plenty of options for OP to explore before bringing her baby to class.


so, how do you handle that?  Do you ask the school to ban fidgeting?


I expect to deal with it if I've paid for college.  I do not expect to deal with newborns.  I didn't pay to take a class with newborns.  I expect the vast majority of my class to be about 18 and older.

the op has paid for college too.  what if her baby ISN'T a distraction?  Should she still have to forfeit her tuition?
 


That is something to be determined after baby is born.  OP still needs a back up plan.  If she doesn't want to forfeit her tuition, then it would behoove her to plan for the worst and talk to her professors NOW about other options besides bringing the baby to class or losing out completely.  Fighting to have baby in class sounds nice in theory since she is allowed to be there so the law should cover her, but planning only for being allowed to bring the baby to class via complaint is short sighted, and disrespectful to the other students should baby be a distraction and the professor and school unable to turn her away because of the law.  She needs to plan for all possible outcomes, and also consider the rights of the other students as well.  No student or newborn is more important than the other.

post #37 of 144

What if the OP has a colicky baby?  I guess I just mention that b/c even if the school did decide it was in fact okay to bring her baby to class, and other students were comfortable with this arrangement, there's no guarantee it will actually work out for the best, thus, she should have another plan. Either leaving the baby with someone else for the remainder of the semester (is it really more than a few hours a day, for a little more than a month?) or taking a semester off. 

post #38 of 144

This is exactly what i'm trying to get at.  Even if everyone is hunky dory, does NOT mean it'll still be okay.  Even if a complaint works and the school is forced to allow it via law doesn't mean it'll be a good choice.  You can't count on newborns being quiet and simple... many aren't.
 

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Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife View Post

What if the OP has a colicky baby?  I guess I just mention that b/c even if the school did decide it was in fact okay to bring her baby to class, and other students were comfortable with this arrangement, there's no guarantee it will actually work out for the best, thus, she should have another plan. Either leaving the baby with someone else for the remainder of the semester (is it really more than a few hours a day, for a little more than a month?) or taking a semester off. 

post #39 of 144


 

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Because the baby is coming in the middle of the semester (not the best timing... but the baby is already on his/her way), and the school also doesn't allow missing class for maternity leave.... I am not sure what I am supposed to do.  If my grades are going to suffer because I be given permission to make work up I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place.  I will have to go back as soon as possible, but I don't think it is good for a tiny baby (1-2 weeks old) to be away from me.

 

I guess I am surprised to hear that people think the baby would be a distraction.  Newborn sleep the majority of the time and are often otherwise breastfeeding.  I agree that it could be disruptive for my husband to have to be outside the class with the baby... but if I can't miss class and I can't have the baby with me I am not sure what else to do.  There is no day care and even if there was I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving such a young baby in one.  For successful breastfeeding and to build the best supply, early on-cue feeding is the best method and I just don't think I should have to sacrifice that.  I am ready to be mindful of other students and the class as a whole, I just think that my baby's health and a successful nursing relationship are life long issues to consider.


THis.  I am always surprised when people claim a  baby would be a distraction, especially a newborn.  What if people adjusted their idea of "distraction" to include the normal (quiet) noises of a newborn.  People clear their throats, their phones might accidentally go off, etc... wuld a baby really make more noise than that?  Doubtful.


mine made a lot more noise than that.  No way could I have brought kiddo to a college class as a newborn.  there is no saying whether or not OP's newborn will be the picturesque quiet newborn or a newborn like mine or many other newborns I have known.

 

Moreover, if I pay good money to attend college and earn a degree, I WOULD probably be distracted by a baby.  I get distracted just by other students fidgeting around.  I didn't pay to go to class with a newborn who may or may not just sleep and/or be very quiet.  There are plenty of options for OP to explore before bringing her baby to class.


so, how do you handle that?  Do you ask the school to ban fidgeting?


I expect to deal with it if I've paid for college.  I do not expect to deal with newborns.  I didn't pay to take a class with newborns.  I expect the vast majority of my class to be about 18 and older.


sorry - didn't mean to upset you.  you said you were distracted by fidgeting.  what difference does it make what is the actual distraction?


I find babies a great deal more distracting and harder to deal with that distraction.

as for your other post, people provided more solutions than just pump and leave baby or take online classes.  We are all sympathetic to the needs of mama and a new baby and we all support lactation rights I would assume, but that doesn't mean it is always appropriate.  Everyone else in the class deserves the right and respect to the class they paid for.  It is the OP's responsibility to find a solution that will work... not just complain about not being allowed to have a newborn in class.


re the first bolded, you find a quiet baby a bigger distraction then a fidgeter?  If that is the case, I would really think that is your problem.  re the second bolded, I guess I am surprised that there would ever be a place that some don't consider appropriate for mother and baby.  A baby is an extension of mother especially in the newborn stage.   I think the op is right to "Complain" about not being allowed to have a newborn in class.  That is crazy.  If the bbay fusses, she'll leave temporarily, just like someone would with an upset stomach, or to take an emergency phone call, or to smoke (as someone above mentioned).  But to assume a baby will automatically be a distraction is silly.  What if baby slept quietly in a sling the entire class - would you still have a problem with it?

post #40 of 144
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Originally Posted by treeoflife3 View Post

This is exactly what i'm trying to get at.  Even if everyone is hunky dory, does NOT mean it'll still be okay.  Even if a complaint works and the school is forced to allow it via law doesn't mean it'll be a good choice.  You can't count on newborns being quiet and simple... many aren't.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife View Post

What if the OP has a colicky baby?  I guess I just mention that b/c even if the school did decide it was in fact okay to bring her baby to class, and other students were comfortable with this arrangement, there's no guarantee it will actually work out for the best, thus, she should have another plan. Either leaving the baby with someone else for the remainder of the semester (is it really more than a few hours a day, for a little more than a month?) or taking a semester off. 


 


But what if the baby is content and quiet??  I would assume that any reasonable person would not keep a fussing baby in class.  You can't count on many adults to be quiet and respectful of others, we still give them a chance to be.

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