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College attempting to ban breastfeeding in class - Page 3

post #41 of 144


 

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Originally Posted by SilverLace View Post

Because the baby is coming in the middle of the semester (not the best timing... but the baby is already on his/her way), and the school also doesn't allow missing class for maternity leave.... I am not sure what I am supposed to do.  If my grades are going to suffer because I be given permission to make work up I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place.  I will have to go back as soon as possible, but I don't think it is good for a tiny baby (1-2 weeks old) to be away from me.

 

I guess I am surprised to hear that people think the baby would be a distraction.  Newborn sleep the majority of the time and are often otherwise breastfeeding.  I agree that it could be disruptive for my husband to have to be outside the class with the baby... but if I can't miss class and I can't have the baby with me I am not sure what else to do.  There is no day care and even if there was I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving such a young baby in one.  For successful breastfeeding and to build the best supply, early on-cue feeding is the best method and I just don't think I should have to sacrifice that.  I am ready to be mindful of other students and the class as a whole, I just think that my baby's health and a successful nursing relationship are life long issues to consider.


THis.  I am always surprised when people claim a  baby would be a distraction, especially a newborn.  What if people adjusted their idea of "distraction" to include the normal (quiet) noises of a newborn.  People clear their throats, their phones might accidentally go off, etc... wuld a baby really make more noise than that?  Doubtful.


mine made a lot more noise than that.  No way could I have brought kiddo to a college class as a newborn.  there is no saying whether or not OP's newborn will be the picturesque quiet newborn or a newborn like mine or many other newborns I have known.

 

Moreover, if I pay good money to attend college and earn a degree, I WOULD probably be distracted by a baby.  I get distracted just by other students fidgeting around.  I didn't pay to go to class with a newborn who may or may not just sleep and/or be very quiet.  There are plenty of options for OP to explore before bringing her baby to class.


so, how do you handle that?  Do you ask the school to ban fidgeting?


I expect to deal with it if I've paid for college.  I do not expect to deal with newborns.  I didn't pay to take a class with newborns.  I expect the vast majority of my class to be about 18 and older.

the op has paid for college too.  what if her baby ISN'T a distraction?  Should she still have to forfeit her tuition?
 


That is something to be determined after baby is born.  OP still needs a back up plan.  If she doesn't want to forfeit her tuition, then it would behoove her to plan for the worst and talk to her professors NOW about other options besides bringing the baby to class or losing out completely.  Fighting to have baby in class sounds nice in theory since she is allowed to be there so the law should cover her, but planning only for being allowed to bring the baby to class via complaint is short sighted, and disrespectful to the other students should baby be a distraction and the professor and school unable to turn her away because of the law.  She needs to plan for all possible outcomes, and also consider the rights of the other students as well.  No student or newborn is more important than the other.



 



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Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife View Post

What if the OP has a colicky baby?  I guess I just mention that b/c even if the school did decide it was in fact okay to bring her baby to class, and other students were comfortable with this arrangement, there's no guarantee it will actually work out for the best, thus, she should have another plan. Either leaving the baby with someone else for the remainder of the semester (is it really more than a few hours a day, for a little more than a month?) or taking a semester off. 


Meh.  I know many people who pump and give their babies a bottle "just in case".  Most of the world gets by without bottles.  Why not cross that bridge (having a back up plan if baby is fussy) when and if needed.  Why borrow trouble?

post #42 of 144


 

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Originally Posted by swede View Post


 

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Originally Posted by treeoflife3 View Post

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Originally Posted by treeoflife3 View Post


 

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Originally Posted by SilverLace View Post

Because the baby is coming in the middle of the semester (not the best timing... but the baby is already on his/her way), and the school also doesn't allow missing class for maternity leave.... I am not sure what I am supposed to do.  If my grades are going to suffer because I be given permission to make work up I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place.  I will have to go back as soon as possible, but I don't think it is good for a tiny baby (1-2 weeks old) to be away from me.

 

I guess I am surprised to hear that people think the baby would be a distraction.  Newborn sleep the majority of the time and are often otherwise breastfeeding.  I agree that it could be disruptive for my husband to have to be outside the class with the baby... but if I can't miss class and I can't have the baby with me I am not sure what else to do.  There is no day care and even if there was I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving such a young baby in one.  For successful breastfeeding and to build the best supply, early on-cue feeding is the best method and I just don't think I should have to sacrifice that.  I am ready to be mindful of other students and the class as a whole, I just think that my baby's health and a successful nursing relationship are life long issues to consider.


THis.  I am always surprised when people claim a  baby would be a distraction, especially a newborn.  What if people adjusted their idea of "distraction" to include the normal (quiet) noises of a newborn.  People clear their throats, their phones might accidentally go off, etc... wuld a baby really make more noise than that?  Doubtful.


mine made a lot more noise than that.  No way could I have brought kiddo to a college class as a newborn.  there is no saying whether or not OP's newborn will be the picturesque quiet newborn or a newborn like mine or many other newborns I have known.

 

Moreover, if I pay good money to attend college and earn a degree, I WOULD probably be distracted by a baby.  I get distracted just by other students fidgeting around.  I didn't pay to go to class with a newborn who may or may not just sleep and/or be very quiet.  There are plenty of options for OP to explore before bringing her baby to class.


so, how do you handle that?  Do you ask the school to ban fidgeting?


I expect to deal with it if I've paid for college.  I do not expect to deal with newborns.  I didn't pay to take a class with newborns.  I expect the vast majority of my class to be about 18 and older.


sorry - didn't mean to upset you.  you said you were distracted by fidgeting.  what difference does it make what is the actual distraction?


I find babies a great deal more distracting and harder to deal with that distraction.

as for your other post, people provided more solutions than just pump and leave baby or take online classes.  We are all sympathetic to the needs of mama and a new baby and we all support lactation rights I would assume, but that doesn't mean it is always appropriate.  Everyone else in the class deserves the right and respect to the class they paid for.  It is the OP's responsibility to find a solution that will work... not just complain about not being allowed to have a newborn in class.


re the first bolded, you find a quiet baby a bigger distraction then a fidgeter?  If that is the case, I would really think that is your problem.  re the second bolded, I guess I am surprised that there would ever be a place that some don't consider appropriate for mother and baby.  A baby is an extension of mother especially in the newborn stage.   I think the op is right to "Complain" about not being allowed to have a newborn in class.  That is crazy.  If the bbay fusses, she'll leave temporarily, just like someone would with an upset stomach, or to take an emergency phone call, or to smoke (as someone above mentioned).  But to assume a baby will automatically be a distraction is silly.  What if baby slept quietly in a sling the entire class - would you still have a problem with it?

I guess everyone is assuming baby will be noisy.  But seriously, what if baby was quiet and content the entire time.  Would you all still have a problem with it?
 

post #43 of 144


 

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Originally Posted by treeoflife3 View Post

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Originally Posted by swede View Post


 

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Originally Posted by treeoflife3 View Post


 

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Originally Posted by swede View Post

 



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Originally Posted by treeoflife3 View Post

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Originally Posted by swede View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverLace View Post

Because the baby is coming in the middle of the semester (not the best timing... but the baby is already on his/her way), and the school also doesn't allow missing class for maternity leave.... I am not sure what I am supposed to do.  If my grades are going to suffer because I be given permission to make work up I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place.  I will have to go back as soon as possible, but I don't think it is good for a tiny baby (1-2 weeks old) to be away from me.

 

I guess I am surprised to hear that people think the baby would be a distraction.  Newborn sleep the majority of the time and are often otherwise breastfeeding.  I agree that it could be disruptive for my husband to have to be outside the class with the baby... but if I can't miss class and I can't have the baby with me I am not sure what else to do.  There is no day care and even if there was I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving such a young baby in one.  For successful breastfeeding and to build the best supply, early on-cue feeding is the best method and I just don't think I should have to sacrifice that.  I am ready to be mindful of other students and the class as a whole, I just think that my baby's health and a successful nursing relationship are life long issues to consider.


THis.  I am always surprised when people claim a  baby would be a distraction, especially a newborn.  What if people adjusted their idea of "distraction" to include the normal (quiet) noises of a newborn.  People clear their throats, their phones might accidentally go off, etc... wuld a baby really make more noise than that?  Doubtful.


mine made a lot more noise than that.  No way could I have brought kiddo to a college class as a newborn.  there is no saying whether or not OP's newborn will be the picturesque quiet newborn or a newborn like mine or many other newborns I have known.

 

Moreover, if I pay good money to attend college and earn a degree, I WOULD probably be distracted by a baby.  I get distracted just by other students fidgeting around.  I didn't pay to go to class with a newborn who may or may not just sleep and/or be very quiet.  There are plenty of options for OP to explore before bringing her baby to class.


so, how do you handle that?  Do you ask the school to ban fidgeting?


I expect to deal with it if I've paid for college.  I do not expect to deal with newborns.  I didn't pay to take a class with newborns.  I expect the vast majority of my class to be about 18 and older.


sorry - didn't mean to upset you.  you said you were distracted by fidgeting.  what difference does it make what is the actual distraction?


I find babies a great deal more distracting and harder to deal with that distraction.

as for your other post, people provided more solutions than just pump and leave baby or take online classes.  We are all sympathetic to the needs of mama and a new baby and we all support lactation rights I would assume, but that doesn't mean it is always appropriate.  Everyone else in the class deserves the right and respect to the class they paid for.  It is the OP's responsibility to find a solution that will work... not just complain about not being allowed to have a newborn in class.


re the first bolded, you find a quiet baby a bigger distraction then a fidgeter?  If that is the case, I would really think that is your problem.  re the second bolded, I guess I am surprised that there would ever be a place that some don't consider appropriate for mother and baby.  A baby is an extension of mother especially in the newborn stage.   I think the op is right to "Complain" about not being allowed to have a newborn in class.  That is crazy.  If the bbay fusses, she'll leave temporarily, just like someone would with an upset stomach, or to take an emergency phone call, or to smoke (as someone above mentioned).  But to assume a baby will automatically be a distraction is silly.  What if baby slept quietly in a sling the entire class - would you still have a problem with it?



you're right.. it is my problem.  I think the vast majority of people however would never expect a newborn in class with them.  If I were to know a baby was going to be in class... I wouldn't sign up and pay.  I expect fidgeters, but a newborn in a college lecture is stretching the expectations.

 

I'm not assuming the baby WILL be a distraction, I'm simply being realistic.  Expecting a newborn to be quiet and making little sound when not sleeping is short sighted.  Baby might be problematic enough to where she is stepping away from class so much that she simply misses enough that going in the first place was pointless.  Baby might be problematic enough that she can't even make it to class to be able to step away in the first place.

 

Forcing the school to allow her to have her newborn in class fails to plan for the what ifs.  It would be a lot less stressful to just ask the professors if she can work ahead, have lectures on video, and take tests perhaps privately or whatever it is she might be able to work out.  Then no one is bothered and she doesn't need to be separated from her newborn.

post #44 of 144

It would also be nice if newborns could accompany their moms to work - but the reality is that the majority of employers simply don't allow it.  I think colleges have policies regarding bringing children to class for similar reasons. Pretty much anywhere else, though, babies are very much welcome as an extension of their mother (or father).  I don't see it as a lactivism issue, personally, because it's not like they are allowing all bottle-fed babies only, yk?

post #45 of 144


 

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Originally Posted by swede View Post


 

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Originally Posted by treeoflife3 View Post

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Originally Posted by swede View Post


 

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Originally Posted by treeoflife3 View Post


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by swede View Post

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by treeoflife3 View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by swede View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverLace View Post

Because the baby is coming in the middle of the semester (not the best timing... but the baby is already on his/her way), and the school also doesn't allow missing class for maternity leave.... I am not sure what I am supposed to do.  If my grades are going to suffer because I be given permission to make work up I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place.  I will have to go back as soon as possible, but I don't think it is good for a tiny baby (1-2 weeks old) to be away from me.

 

I guess I am surprised to hear that people think the baby would be a distraction.  Newborn sleep the majority of the time and are often otherwise breastfeeding.  I agree that it could be disruptive for my husband to have to be outside the class with the baby... but if I can't miss class and I can't have the baby with me I am not sure what else to do.  There is no day care and even if there was I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving such a young baby in one.  For successful breastfeeding and to build the best supply, early on-cue feeding is the best method and I just don't think I should have to sacrifice that.  I am ready to be mindful of other students and the class as a whole, I just think that my baby's health and a successful nursing relationship are life long issues to consider.


THis.  I am always surprised when people claim a  baby would be a distraction, especially a newborn.  What if people adjusted their idea of "distraction" to include the normal (quiet) noises of a newborn.  People clear their throats, their phones might accidentally go off, etc... wuld a baby really make more noise than that?  Doubtful.


mine made a lot more noise than that.  No way could I have brought kiddo to a college class as a newborn.  there is no saying whether or not OP's newborn will be the picturesque quiet newborn or a newborn like mine or many other newborns I have known.

 

Moreover, if I pay good money to attend college and earn a degree, I WOULD probably be distracted by a baby.  I get distracted just by other students fidgeting around.  I didn't pay to go to class with a newborn who may or may not just sleep and/or be very quiet.  There are plenty of options for OP to explore before bringing her baby to class.


so, how do you handle that?  Do you ask the school to ban fidgeting?


I expect to deal with it if I've paid for college.  I do not expect to deal with newborns.  I didn't pay to take a class with newborns.  I expect the vast majority of my class to be about 18 and older.

the op has paid for college too.  what if her baby ISN'T a distraction?  Should she still have to forfeit her tuition?
 


That is something to be determined after baby is born.  OP still needs a back up plan.  If she doesn't want to forfeit her tuition, then it would behoove her to plan for the worst and talk to her professors NOW about other options besides bringing the baby to class or losing out completely.  Fighting to have baby in class sounds nice in theory since she is allowed to be there so the law should cover her, but planning only for being allowed to bring the baby to class via complaint is short sighted, and disrespectful to the other students should baby be a distraction and the professor and school unable to turn her away because of the law.  She needs to plan for all possible outcomes, and also consider the rights of the other students as well.  No student or newborn is more important than the other.



 



Quote:
Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife View Post

What if the OP has a colicky baby?  I guess I just mention that b/c even if the school did decide it was in fact okay to bring her baby to class, and other students were comfortable with this arrangement, there's no guarantee it will actually work out for the best, thus, she should have another plan. Either leaving the baby with someone else for the remainder of the semester (is it really more than a few hours a day, for a little more than a month?) or taking a semester off. 


Meh.  I know many people who pump and give their babies a bottle "just in case".  Most of the world gets by without bottles.  Why not cross that bridge (having a back up plan if baby is fussy) when and if needed.  Why borrow trouble?



because making your backup plan after the baby comes misses the point.  It might be too LATE to carry out any good plan.

post #46 of 144
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife View Post

It would also be nice if newborns could accompany their moms to work - but the reality is that the majority of employers simply don't allow it.  I think colleges have policies regarding bringing children to class for similar reasons. Pretty much anywhere else, though, babies are very much welcome as an extension of their mother (or father).  I don't see it as a lactivism issue, personally, because it's not like they are allowing all bottle-fed babies only, yk?

post #47 of 144
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife View Post

It would also be nice if newborns could accompany their moms to work - but the reality is that the majority of employers simply don't allow it.  I think colleges have policies regarding bringing children to class for similar reasons. Pretty much anywhere else, though, babies are very much welcome as an extension of their mother (or father).  I don't see it as a lactivism issue, personally, because it's not like they are allowing all bottle-fed babies only, yk?

sad , and worth fighting to change, IMO.  I am privileged enough to not need to work.  But I don't really believe that God's design for mothers is to sit around entertaining baby all day.  I believe we are supposed to incorporate our babies into our lives.  Most jobs COULD be done with baby along.  We, as a society, have just become so anti-baby and anti-mother, that we forget that.  Are their exceptions to that idea?  Of course!  But imagine if all the careers/jobs that could be done with baby, were. 
 

post #48 of 144


 

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Originally Posted by treeoflife3 View Post


 

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Originally Posted by swede View Post


 

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Originally Posted by treeoflife3 View Post

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Originally Posted by swede View Post


 

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Originally Posted by treeoflife3 View Post


 

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Originally Posted by swede View Post

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by treeoflife3 View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by swede View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverLace View Post

Because the baby is coming in the middle of the semester (not the best timing... but the baby is already on his/her way), and the school also doesn't allow missing class for maternity leave.... I am not sure what I am supposed to do.  If my grades are going to suffer because I be given permission to make work up I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place.  I will have to go back as soon as possible, but I don't think it is good for a tiny baby (1-2 weeks old) to be away from me.

 

I guess I am surprised to hear that people think the baby would be a distraction.  Newborn sleep the majority of the time and are often otherwise breastfeeding.  I agree that it could be disruptive for my husband to have to be outside the class with the baby... but if I can't miss class and I can't have the baby with me I am not sure what else to do.  There is no day care and even if there was I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving such a young baby in one.  For successful breastfeeding and to build the best supply, early on-cue feeding is the best method and I just don't think I should have to sacrifice that.  I am ready to be mindful of other students and the class as a whole, I just think that my baby's health and a successful nursing relationship are life long issues to consider.


THis.  I am always surprised when people claim a  baby would be a distraction, especially a newborn.  What if people adjusted their idea of "distraction" to include the normal (quiet) noises of a newborn.  People clear their throats, their phones might accidentally go off, etc... wuld a baby really make more noise than that?  Doubtful.


mine made a lot more noise than that.  No way could I have brought kiddo to a college class as a newborn.  there is no saying whether or not OP's newborn will be the picturesque quiet newborn or a newborn like mine or many other newborns I have known.

 

Moreover, if I pay good money to attend college and earn a degree, I WOULD probably be distracted by a baby.  I get distracted just by other students fidgeting around.  I didn't pay to go to class with a newborn who may or may not just sleep and/or be very quiet.  There are plenty of options for OP to explore before bringing her baby to class.


so, how do you handle that?  Do you ask the school to ban fidgeting?


I expect to deal with it if I've paid for college.  I do not expect to deal with newborns.  I didn't pay to take a class with newborns.  I expect the vast majority of my class to be about 18 and older.

the op has paid for college too.  what if her baby ISN'T a distraction?  Should she still have to forfeit her tuition?
 


That is something to be determined after baby is born.  OP still needs a back up plan.  If she doesn't want to forfeit her tuition, then it would behoove her to plan for the worst and talk to her professors NOW about other options besides bringing the baby to class or losing out completely.  Fighting to have baby in class sounds nice in theory since she is allowed to be there so the law should cover her, but planning only for being allowed to bring the baby to class via complaint is short sighted, and disrespectful to the other students should baby be a distraction and the professor and school unable to turn her away because of the law.  She needs to plan for all possible outcomes, and also consider the rights of the other students as well.  No student or newborn is more important than the other.



 



Quote:
Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife View Post

What if the OP has a colicky baby?  I guess I just mention that b/c even if the school did decide it was in fact okay to bring her baby to class, and other students were comfortable with this arrangement, there's no guarantee it will actually work out for the best, thus, she should have another plan. Either leaving the baby with someone else for the remainder of the semester (is it really more than a few hours a day, for a little more than a month?) or taking a semester off. 


Meh.  I know many people who pump and give their babies a bottle "just in case".  Most of the world gets by without bottles.  Why not cross that bridge (having a back up plan if baby is fussy) when and if needed.  Why borrow trouble?



because making your backup plan after the baby comes misses the point.  It might be too LATE to carry out any good plan.


I guess that's a possibility, but it assumes that baby will most likely be a problem.  I try very hard to not live my life according to the what ifs/  If something is reasonable (and assuming a newborn will sleep quietly in a sling most of the time, is, in my opinion) then I figure it will work out :) 

post #49 of 144

The OP mentioned that there are 6-8 women with babies in her class.  I would guess the policy was put into place because even if one, or two, or three of those women have babies who sleep quietly in slings there's NO WAY they all do.  And 6 or 8 babies at various points in their sleep/wake/eat/fuss cycles would indeed be very disruptive.  Not to mention there's absolutely no way either of my children would have slept through a class, silently from 2 weeks to 8 weeks.  Maybe for the first week but once they woke up from the sleepy newborn phase, they REALLY woke up and they were not happy.

 

It's unfortunate that the world is not accomodating to newborns but it's not and I would have been pretty irritated by having my college classes disrupted by crying babies.  I think the OP's best bet is to have someone outside with the baby, sending a text when baby needs to eat.  And letting your professor know ahead of time that you may need to slip out.  Or seeing if you can work out a way to do your coursework from home so you can stay with the baby (medical disability accomodation?)  I know I would not want to count on being able to bring my baby and then at 2 weeks PP find out I needed to make another plan, it would be very stressful.

post #50 of 144

OP, I am curious why putting off this last semester until fall is not an option?  You say you would have the same problem, but really, maybe not.  You might at that point be able to arrange your schedule to better fit the needs of a baby who will be 5 months+ at that point vs newborn.  Five months old and older are more likely to have more of a schedule.  And, if they don't offer the classes you need until spring, I am curious why that isn't an option? 

post #51 of 144

Reading the policy as written, I think it's very reasonable - from the OP:

 

 

Quote:
Children & Pets:
Children and pets are not allowed in seminar, professional operations, simulation, and any testing sessions.

 

That implies that children (and pets) may be okay in lecture, but not in small classes with a focus on discussion, in professional settings (which may not be safe or where you may not be able to pay attention to their needs while doing what you're supposed to be doing), or during exams.  You need to talk to the professor.

 

Bringing a baby to class may work while they're very small, if no one else is already trying to do it, or as an emergency backup plan.  It's not a permanent solution.  You might luck out and get a quiet newborn, but you can't count on it, and you can't expect to get through a class with an older baby who's teething or has just discovered shrieking, or with a kid who can crawl, pull up, or walk, but isn't old enough to be able to sit still.

 

If your mom or DH can hang out on campus in case you need to hand the baby off, why can't they hang out with the baby, and text you if they need you?

post #52 of 144

Last semester one of my classmates brought her baby to class, it was born 2 weeks (I think) before school started.  She didn't do it every class, but often.  I didn't really mind but it was a distraction.  I think it's pretty standard university policy to not allow kids in classes, and I think it's a reasonable policy too!  The teachers all allowed her to bring her baby, but I'm not really sure that they should have.  I don't think I ever heard the baby cry but it was still loud!  Babies make all kinds of noises.  Grunting, squirming, etc... and in a quiet classroom, all of that is a distraction.  She would kiss it and shush it (all as quietly as possibly) but it was audible and distracting.  She would have to gather supplies to go change a diaper and sometimes get up and walk her baby around the room.  We all dealt with it and understood that she was doing what she needed to do (she was graduating that semester) but it was not ideal.  I think it is pretty rude to bring a baby to class, especially on a regular basis.  Not only was is distracting to other students, but pertussis (and all kinds of ordinary college student crud) was going around.

 

Another friend had a baby last spring, 6 weeks before the end of the semester.  She was in her 3rd semester of nursing school.  It was not something that she could easily leave for a semester and then rejoin.  She would have had to wait until a spot opened up in the class after her, which may or may not happen for several semesters.  She had the baby, took a week off, and then resumed classes.  Her husband would drop her off and pick her up from classes, so she was only gone for one class at a time.  She also worked ahead as much as possible.  I know not everyone has this kind of support or situation, but she felt it was doable and never had to bring the baby to class. 

post #53 of 144

Yeah, babies are a distraction.  They are not silent, and you can't count on them to be silent b/c they can and do start screaming unexpectedly (which is hugely disruptive even if mom leaves soon after the screaming starts).  I took my ds to a class that I TA'd for the semester after he was born, and honestly I wish I didn't have to.  It was awful.  Luckily he did not disrupt the class b/c the class was in a huge auditorium and I could pace in the back of the room without anyone noticing, and since I was a TA it was OK (my ex could have taken care of ds, but he refused) b/c I didn't need to take notes or participate in the class.  He was a huge distraction to me, and I couldn't have taken him to a class that I actually had to pay attention in very often (I did the last day of class b/c the babysitter didn't show up - but that was the last day and mostly a party).

 

I don't think that people should be able to take children to class until they are old enough to sit quietly and color or draw.  It's not respectful to the rest of the class.  OP, if your dh or mom can wait around on campus they can carry baby around campus and enjoy babies company and call you to come out to BF.  It doesn't sound like this policy is unfairly geared towards BF'ing moms, since bottle feeding mom's need to find childcare too, and its no less inconvenient for a bottle feeding mom to have to pay for childcare.

 

If your dh or mom can't hold baby, you might be able to find some students who can watch the baby during your class times, and then have her with you during your breaks.  Baby's can make good study buddy's, and I've done that for mom's who needed the help before - and they've done it for me.

post #54 of 144
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Originally Posted by swede View Post



I guess that's a possibility, but it assumes that baby will most likely be a problem.  I try very hard to not live my life according to the what ifs/  If something is reasonable (and assuming a newborn will sleep quietly in a sling most of the time, is, in my opinion) then I figure it will work out :) 



I think its pretty obvious that a baby will "most likely" be a problem.  Babies cry, they fuss, they squirm, they're CUTE (which is not a problem, but is a distraction), they need attention, they need to nurse, etc.  When in a small seminar its very hard to sit inconspicuously in the back of the room near the door so that you can leave quickly with minimal distraction.  In a 500person lecture class, its a different story.

 

And I'm not quite sure why everyone is assuming that sleeping babies are quiet?  My ds was anything but quiet when he was sleeping as a brand spanking new baby - he grunted and squirmed and wiggled, and laughed and smiled and made kissy faces and noises - it was adorable, but terribly distracting.

post #55 of 144
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Originally Posted by happysmileylady View Post

OP, I am curious why putting off this last semester until fall is not an option?  You say you would have the same problem, but really, maybe not.  You might at that point be able to arrange your schedule to better fit the needs of a baby who will be 5 months+ at that point vs newborn.  Five months old and older are more likely to have more of a schedule.  And, if they don't offer the classes you need until spring, I am curious why that isn't an option? 


yeahthat.gif

Especially since you don't know what your condition is going to be after you give birth. I know there would have been no way I could have dragged myself to class after DS was born because I could barely walk for a couple of weeks after his birth. You don't know what his birth is going to be like, and you need to think about giving your body the rest and respect it is going to need. Trying to jump right back into an academic schedule is not going to help your healing.

Not to even mention the lack of sleep and normal post-baby brain.
post #56 of 144

Just wanted to add that "no children or pets" has been on every syllabus I've received, at a few different colleges. Sometimes, the professor adds that they may make an exception for an older child that can sit quietly, but not on a regular basis.

post #57 of 144

 



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Originally Posted by swede View Post

 



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Originally Posted by treeoflife3 View Post

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Originally Posted by SilverLace View Post

Because the baby is coming in the middle of the semester (not the best timing... but the baby is already on his/her way), and the school also doesn't allow missing class for maternity leave.... I am not sure what I am supposed to do.  If my grades are going to suffer because I be given permission to make work up I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place.  I will have to go back as soon as possible, but I don't think it is good for a tiny baby (1-2 weeks old) to be away from me.

 

I guess I am surprised to hear that people think the baby would be a distraction.  Newborn sleep the majority of the time and are often otherwise breastfeeding.  I agree that it could be disruptive for my husband to have to be outside the class with the baby... but if I can't miss class and I can't have the baby with me I am not sure what else to do.  There is no day care and even if there was I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving such a young baby in one.  For successful breastfeeding and to build the best supply, early on-cue feeding is the best method and I just don't think I should have to sacrifice that.  I am ready to be mindful of other students and the class as a whole, I just think that my baby's health and a successful nursing relationship are life long issues to consider.


THis.  I am always surprised when people claim a  baby would be a distraction, especially a newborn.  What if people adjusted their idea of "distraction" to include the normal (quiet) noises of a newborn.  People clear their throats, their phones might accidentally go off, etc... wuld a baby really make more noise than that?  Doubtful.


mine made a lot more noise than that.  No way could I have brought kiddo to a college class as a newborn.  there is no saying whether or not OP's newborn will be the picturesque quiet newborn or a newborn like mine or many other newborns I have known.

 

Moreover, if I pay good money to attend college and earn a degree, I WOULD probably be distracted by a baby.  I get distracted just by other students fidgeting around.  I didn't pay to go to class with a newborn who may or may not just sleep and/or be very quiet.  There are plenty of options for OP to explore before bringing her baby to class.


so, how do you handle that?  Do you ask the school to ban fidgeting?


I expect to deal with it if I've paid for college.  I do not expect to deal with newborns.  I didn't pay to take a class with newborns.  I expect the vast majority of my class to be about 18 and older.

the op has paid for college too.  what if her baby ISN'T a distraction?  Should she still have to forfeit her tuition?
 


The OP has personal responsibility for her actions. Unless I missed it, the school neither impregnated her or forced her to enroll. Many people, at least the ones I knew who got pregnant when in school, would have chosen to enroll the next semester instead. OP did not. Whether that was a mistake or not is up to her decide. But the college is NOT responsible for her pregnancy, enrollment, or the loss of tuition if she withdraws. She didn't have an accident, she didn't discover she has some terrible illness during the semester, she got pregnant and knew before enrolling for the new semester. I strongly support AP parenting and breastfeeding but that does not mean we don't all have personal responsibility for our choices. Pregnancy and birth and infancy are part of our lives, sometimes they force us into difficult choices like interupting our eductation or employment or lives when we'd prefer they had come on X weeks later, or when we were five years older, or in a different tax bracket, or with a better partner. Sometimes the choices we need to make are not the ones we want to make.

 

Maybe she can work it out to work ahead, or withdraw with specific projects to complete, complete them, and graduate, or whatever. But the decisions and consequuences are hers alone. This isn't about the school accomodating her or banning breastfeeding. Most schools have family rooms or safe place to pump and store breastmilk and if they don't, that is reasonable source of complaint and action. Demanding to bring a newborn to a college class is unreasonable, regardless of nursing, because it is disruptive to the class and students.

 

I am really am very sympathetic to OP's situation. It is hard to make the right choices, especially when you've never done something before. But really, birth and infancy and breastfeeding are hard enough even if it wasn't your first. I would really encourage you to rethink your plan and see if you can withdraw with completion over the summer. 

post #58 of 144

If you can have your mom or partner outside the classroom, then I don't think it would be a huge deal to just feed the baby beforehand,, go to class, and have your partner or mom walk around with the baby in the sling while you are in class.  Then feed the baby afterwards.

 

While I'm 100% in favor of on-demand nursing, I think the baby should be fine for an hour for at most 1 1/2 hours while you are in class.   If you have back to back classes, it might be trickier, but still do-able. You'd have to have at least some break between classes and you could always nurse while walking around if necessary. 

 

If someone is going to be at campus with your, it really doesn't seem like a big deal to be separated from the baby for an hour or most at a time.  It's not ideal, but it isn't going to wreck your breastfeeding relationship or ruin everything.  You probably wouldn't need to pump or use bottles at all.  A paci might be useful, but your partner could reserve that just for class and it should be fine.

 

Also as far as a newborn, not being a distraction..well they definitely are.  I've been at lots of LLL conferences and meetings, and while I LOVE that babies are welcome and allowed, they definitely do make noise and cry and be fussy at times.   Yes, there are some sleep all the time, but there are babies that don't.  And, some babies only like motion, I would not count on being able to take a baby to class with you.

post #59 of 144

I will be in a similar situation; in school, pregnant, unable to take time off for the birth (which was my original plan- due to some things changing institutionally my program won't actually be around for me to continue in a different semester).  And the class that is a particular issue for me may be 8 hours long and only runs for 4-5 weeks, right around my due date.

 

In an ideal world, newborns would be quite (luckily mine always have; after the first few weeks not so much!), people would be accustomed to seeing babies and won't be distracted by their mere presence and cuteness, and parents would be responsible enough to remove themselves and their infant if there was a distraction.  And you could take your newborn, nursing, infant with you wherever you go without it being an issue.  That's not where we are as a society at the moment, though,

 

What I'm planning on doing, somehow, is to have someone with the baby outside the class the entire time that I'm there.  They'll text me when the baby needs to eat, and I'll slip out and nurse.  Which means I'll probably be missing a huge portion of the class, given how often newborns spend nursing.  I'm unwilling to pump and do bottles/cup at that young age when breastfeeding/supply isn't established yet, so....yeah, it stinks and is far from ideal.  And I haven't a clue who will be watching my other two kids if I'm tapping my support systems to have someone sitting in the lobby at school all day.

 

As a side note, you're correct about the wording of the law:  " A mother may breast-feed in any location, public or private, where the mother and child are otherwise authorized to be".  If no infants are allowed in class, then you are not entitled to bring your infant there to breastfeed.  It's meant to prevent discrimination against breastfeeding as opposed to bottlefeeding infants; not to allow parents to take breastfed infants into places that are designated entirely baby-free.  Coming at the school with that law isn't going to help you, and will probably just antagonize them further.

 

Edited to add: It also drives the feminist in me bonkers that the other student in my program who is expecting a new baby one week before I'm due is at no risk of being unable to complete the semester, because he happens to be becoming a father and not a mother.  There are some gender/social/discrimination/unfairness issues here for sure.

post #60 of 144


 

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Originally Posted by swede View Post

 



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Originally Posted by swede View Post



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Originally Posted by SilverLace View Post

Because the baby is coming in the middle of the semester (not the best timing... but the baby is already on his/her way), and the school also doesn't allow missing class for maternity leave.... I am not sure what I am supposed to do.  If my grades are going to suffer because I be given permission to make work up I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place.  I will have to go back as soon as possible, but I don't think it is good for a tiny baby (1-2 weeks old) to be away from me.

 

I guess I am surprised to hear that people think the baby would be a distraction.  Newborn sleep the majority of the time and are often otherwise breastfeeding.  I agree that it could be disruptive for my husband to have to be outside the class with the baby... but if I can't miss class and I can't have the baby with me I am not sure what else to do.  There is no day care and even if there was I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving such a young baby in one.  For successful breastfeeding and to build the best supply, early on-cue feeding is the best method and I just don't think I should have to sacrifice that.  I am ready to be mindful of other students and the class as a whole, I just think that my baby's health and a successful nursing relationship are life long issues to consider.


THis.  I am always surprised when people claim a  baby would be a distraction, especially a newborn.  What if people adjusted their idea of "distraction" to include the normal (quiet) noises of a newborn.  People clear their throats, their phones might accidentally go off, etc... wuld a baby really make more noise than that?  Doubtful.


mine made a lot more noise than that.  No way could I have brought kiddo to a college class as a newborn.  there is no saying whether or not OP's newborn will be the picturesque quiet newborn or a newborn like mine or many other newborns I have known.

 

Moreover, if I pay good money to attend college and earn a degree, I WOULD probably be distracted by a baby.  I get distracted just by other students fidgeting around.  I didn't pay to go to class with a newborn who may or may not just sleep and/or be very quiet.  There are plenty of options for OP to explore before bringing her baby to class.


so, how do you handle that?  Do you ask the school to ban fidgeting?


I expect to deal with it if I've paid for college.  I do not expect to deal with newborns.  I didn't pay to take a class with newborns.  I expect the vast majority of my class to be about 18 and older.

the op has paid for college too.  what if her baby ISN'T a distraction?  Should she still have to forfeit her tuition?
 


The OP has personal responsibility for her actions. Unless I missed it, the school neither impregnated her or forced her to enroll. Many people, at least the ones I knew who got pregnant when in school, would have chosen to enroll the next semester instead. OP did not. Whether that was a mistake or not is up to her decide. But the college is NOT responsible for her pregnancy, enrollment, or the loss of tuition if she withdraws. She didn't have an accident, she didn't discover she has some terrible illness during the semester, she got pregnant and knew before enrolling for the new semester. I strongly support AP parenting and breastfeeding but that does not mean we don't all have personal responsibility for our choices. Pregnancy and birth and infancy are part of our lives, sometimes they force us into difficult choices like interupting our eductation or employment or lives when we'd prefer they had come on X weeks later, or when we were five years older, or in a different tax bracket, or with a better partner. Sometimes the choices we need to make are not the ones we want to make.

 

Maybe she can work it out to work ahead, or withdraw with specific projects to complete, complete them, and graduate, or whatever. But the decisions and consequuences are hers alone. This isn't about the school accomodating her or banning breastfeeding. Most schools have family rooms or safe place to pump and store breastmilk and if they don't, that is reasonable source of complaint and action. Demanding to bring a newborn to a college class is unreasonable, regardless of nursing, because it is disruptive to the class and students.

 

I am really am very sympathetic to OP's situation. It is hard to make the right choices, especially when you've never done something before. But really, birth and infancy and breastfeeding are hard enough even if it wasn't your first. I would really encourage you to rethink your plan and see if you can withdraw with completion over the summer. 



But what if her baby ISN'T A distraction???!!! 

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