College attempting to ban breastfeeding in class - Page 4

[Smokering]

I think the most you can do is, AFTER the baby's born, if he or she has proven to indeed be a dream baby who sleeps all the time and indicates the desire to BF by wriggling or snuffling rather than roaring... you could talk to your professors (with your adorably sleeping baby in the sling, so they can see you're telling the truth!) and ask if they'll make an exception. It's always possible, especially as the policy doesn't specifically say "Not during lectures".

I remember a baby coming along to one English lecture one time - a slightly older baby, she was crawling up and down the aisle at the side. Honestly, it was distracting, because I love babies and kept gawking at her. :p Then again, because I love babies I wasn't annoyed by it at all. I thought it was rather nice, actually. But I can see why everyone bringing babies could have been a problem. Go to any church where babies are allowed in the service, and you'll see people have vastly different ideas on what constitutes "acceptable noise" during the service. Some will whisk their babies out the back if they so much as wake up, while others will let them bellow for three or four minutes by removing them. Assuming churchgoers aren't, on the whole, significantly less considerate than college students, allowing any and all babies in probably would result in some significant distractions. I like the thought of a more relaxed, non-lecturey, family-friendly environment, sure; but that's not where most unis are these days.

[MeepyCat]

Swede, could you maybe trim some of your quotes?  We don't need to repeat the entire chain of conversation every time.

Originally Posted by swede 

But what if her baby ISN'T A distraction???!!! 

In the event that the OP's baby isn't a distraction, great!  And if the professor doesn't mind, she can bring that baby to lecture.  However, even the most undistracting baby imaginable would not be appropriate in the situations the professor has specified:  in seminar, where rooms are small and student participation is vital; in professional operations, where children who are not patients are not only in the way, but also a potential source of legal liability; in simulations, where students will presumably be doing things besides sitting and taking (or not taking) notes; and during exams.

In ANY educational setting, professors have the discretion to permit or forbid students from bringing children to class.  The professor always has that option.  Because of this fact, no one should plan to bring a child of any age to class on a consistent basis.  If you are in school, you need to make childcare arrangements for class times.

[WifeofAnt]

Originally Posted by Super~Single~Mama 

Yeah, babies are a distraction.  They are not silent, and you can't count on them to be silent b/c they can and do start screaming unexpectedly (which is hugely disruptive even if mom leaves soon after the screaming starts).

This exactly.  I had a nice little quiet newborn... for about a week.  Of course that's ignoring his really *loud* breathing (he also hums while he's sleeping).  Now he does this thing where it seems like he's sleeping until he screeches out of the blue.  No warning.  Even if I were going to get up and leave as fast as possible everyone's concentration on the class has already been broken.

PLUS a baby doesn't have to make any noise to be distracting.  I'm sure at least someone will remember before they had kids just jumping at the chance to look at the cute little newborn someone is carrying/pushing through the mall.  For some people just *knowing* there's a cute little baby in the room will take away from their focus.  Many people won't care but for others it will be a constant temptation to go over and watch the little one sleep.

[crystal_buffaloe]

Quote:

Originally Posted by swede 
 

But what if her baby ISN'T A distraction???!!! 

Even if the baby isn't a distraction, if the professor doesn't want the baby in the classroom, OP is not going to bring the baby into the classroom without a major distraction. And if the university doesn't want the baby in the classroom, honestly, there's not much she can do to get around that, even if the individual professor is sympathetic.

Having so many other women in the program in the same situation makes it worse for OP, probably. It will be nearly impossible to make a special exception for her distraction-free newborn if the same treatment is not given to all 7 other women.

Further, even if all of the women have sleepy, non-distracting babies, they're most likely going to cry out, or have a loud fart/poop, or something once -- and the perfect baby who is distracting one time multiplied by all 6-8 babies equals a lot of distraction.  

ETA: I don't want to sound overly pessimistic here. Since you're in a position where someone you know and trust can care for your baby while you're in class, and you probably only have to be separated from the baby for at most 50-80 mintues at a time, and if the baby needs to nurse, you can step out of class to so, you are in a good position to be able to breastfeed successfully even though you have to go back to school so soon, should you be physically able at 2 weeks PP. Having DH in the hallway texting you is not ideal, but it's much better than trying to pump and bottle-feed that early.
 

[prothyraia]

Originally Posted by WifeofAnt 
PLUS a baby doesn't have to make any noise to be distracting.  I'm sure at least someone will remember before they had kids just jumping at the chance to look at the cute little newborn someone is carrying/pushing through the mall.  For some people just *knowing* there's a cute little baby in the room will take away from their focus.  Many people won't care but for others it will be a constant temptation to go over and watch the little one sleep.

I really dislike this attitude.

Babies exist, and they sometimes even make noise.  University students also sometimes: tap pencils, pass gas, have coughs, have phones go off, wear clothing meant to attract attention, sneeze, breathe loudly, wear too much perfume, etc.  

Obviously, infants have the potential to be more distracting than that (crying and loud bowel movements come to mind...), but if someone finds the mere existence of an infant distracting, then they need to grow up and get over it. 

[zebra15]

Im just throwing this out there and I haven no idea out the situation but the college may have a student who is not allowed to be around children under the age of 18?   You dont always know who is in class with you.  There very well could be a student on probation, parole, something else and by you bring a child to class that other student would need to drop the class or re-arrange their schedule mid-semester.  You honestly dont know who is sitting next to you in lab, in lecture ect.

[swede]

Originally Posted by zebra15 

Im just throwing this out there and I haven no idea out the situation but the college may have a student who is not allowed to be around children under the age of 18?   You dont always know who is in class with you.  There very well could be a student on probation, parole, something else and by you bring a child to class that other student would need to drop the class or re-arrange their schedule mid-semester.  You honestly dont know who is sitting next to you in lab, in lecture ect.

I'd be very surprised if this is part of the reasoning.  Most colleges/universities allow students under 18 to attend, if they pass the acceptance/placement exams.

I think it is, sadly, more a case of what some previous posters have said, that just the idea of a baby is distracting :(  So. sad.
 

[swede]

another really disappointing idea I've seen expressed here (and in the past, too) is "why should she get a break (ie, being able to bring abby to class) when I didn't?  I will never understand that sentiment. 

[member234098]

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Edited by member234098 - 6/10/12 at 9:31pm

[blessedwithboys]

Um, my newborns were NEVER quiet.  When they were sleeping they were tossing and turning and grunting and when they were awake they were either crying or nursing, and when nursing, they were slurping and choking and then of course burping and farting!  haha

Don't over-dramatize it.  The school is not attempting to ban breastfeeding in class.  Perhaps the real issue is that you are feeling guilty for having to leave your baby and instead of accepting that and working through it you are blaming the school?  I could be way off base, of course.

[Virginia Mom]

Why can't you simply complete the course as "independent study"..............check with the office in the school that deals with students with disabilities........and students with medical issues........maybe they can point you in the right direction.....but that independent study thing might be the best answer.........you pretty much finish the course at home per instructor/school's permisson

[BunnySlippers]

I wish someone would bring a baby to my classes. I think it would be relaxing to hear baby noises.

I take my kid to school sometimes. Its never been a big deal. She is quieter than the majority of the adults ;)

[mojobin]

I agree with previous posts...an academic class (regardless of it's subject) is no place for a baby, child, or anyone else not enrolled in the course.  You should definitely find someone to care for the baby while you go to class.  I don't think you would get all you need of your classes with your baby distracting you either.  Nursing is a serious profession and you need to receive all the information the course has to offer.

[ReginaPhalange]

(nak) Just wanted to chime in with support to the OP. I am an academic mama who was halfway through a BA when DS1 was born. We had a major hiccup with childcare when I started back to school when he was 3 months old that left me with no choice but to ask my professors to bring him to class. Fortunately I had two great profs and an amazing T.A. that allowed me to do so. I always sat in the back by the door, nursed him as needed, and took him out of the room the second he made a peep. As he got older, later in the semester, I did wind up taking him out a lot and missing a decent amount of class. Prior to that though he slept through about 85% of it.

I don't know if it would work, but could you ask your professors if you could bring the baby to class? It may be a long shot with the new policy, but if you explained the situation, then maybe. Or offer to do a trial basis.

I agree that the best solution would be to have a helper watch the baby on campus, then you spend time nursing between classes and step out if need be. Either way I would let you professors know what's going on so they understand why you're in and out. You may be surprised, they could be very understanding! I hope so :) Even now in grad school my advisor turned out to be a father of two (whose wife is also an academic in our dept) and is super supportive of me as a student mother.

Good luck, hang in there! You are not alone and you can do this!

[PatioGardener]

Food for thought. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1314283/Licia-Ronzulli-brings-baby-EU-Parliament.html

ETA: Posting the above link to show that some institutions do not feel the need to ban babies.

[One_Girl]

Originally Posted by blessedwithboys 

Um, my newborns were NEVER quiet.  When they were sleeping they were tossing and turning and grunting and when they were awake they were either crying or nursing, and when nursing, they were slurping and choking and then of course burping and farting!  haha

Don't over-dramatize it.  The school is not attempting to ban breastfeeding in class.  Perhaps the real issue is that you are feeling guilty for having to leave your baby and instead of accepting that and working through it you are blaming the school?  I could be way off base, of course.

I agree with this.  I really hated it when professors let kids come to class because they were very distracting in a way that the usual college noises are not.  There also may be another option after you have your baby besides putting off your schooling for a year.  At the university I graduated from they often worked with mothers who gave birth in the middle of the semester by allowing them to finish their classwork at home and still get credit or accept an incomplete and finish the course work the next semester when their baby would be a little older.  I think that a newborn is going to be especially distracting because it takes time to learn what the cues are, each child gives off very different cues.  You are also going to be very drained of energy from childbirth and the demands of a baby.  By the time your child is three months old you should know her cues very well and your child will be able to be offered milk you pump while you are in class.  I think you should talk to your adviser and your professors to see what can be worked out and check to see what the university policy on child birth is.  

[quaz]

OP, I think going in with the assumption that newborns sleep all the time and when they are not they are nursing, is a very poor assumption to go in with. This is not just a poor assumption in this particular college situation, but just in general. The reality of parenting is often highly different.

I have three kids.
One child was HIGHLY colicky, and refused to nap more than 20 minutes during the day. At 15 months, she finally started to nap.
One child, dropped ALL naps by six months. Before then, her naps were fairly short. She also became easily bored in a room. She wanted to take in the world. There is no way, she would have tolerated being in one place for the length of a lecture.
My last child, was the ony one I would have had a chance to take into a classrooom. Even with him, I believe I would have still had difficulties. He was not one for sitting still in one spot, and would have become bored.


I am sure there are some kids out there that sleep all the time, but I sure did not have one.


For the person that stated that babies give cues before they start crying from hunger... Again that is an assumption for many babies.
Two of my three kids, did give cues....the rooting, gnawing on their fist, etc.
I had one child that literally gave no cues. She would be happy, and then suddenly start screaming. She is in grade school now, and still does not easily recognize when she is hungry, until we are past the point of no return and is starving.


I sincerely wish you the best with your child.
Tammy

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by ReginaPhalange 

(nak) Just wanted to chime in with support to the OP. I am an academic mama who was halfway through a BA when DS1 was born. We had a major hiccup with childcare when I started back to school when he was 3 months old that left me with no choice but to ask my professors to bring him to class. Fortunately I had two great profs and an amazing T.A. that allowed me to do so. I always sat in the back by the door, nursed him as needed, and took him out of the room the second he made a peep. As he got older, later in the semester, I did wind up taking him out a lot and missing a decent amount of class. Prior to that though he slept through about 85% of it.

I don't know if it would work, but could you ask your professors if you could bring the baby to class? It may be a long shot with the new policy, but if you explained the situation, then maybe. Or offer to do a trial basis.

I agree that the best solution would be to have a helper watch the baby on campus, then you spend time nursing between classes and step out if need be. Either way I would let you professors know what's going on so they understand why you're in and out. You may be surprised, they could be very understanding! I hope so :) Even now in grad school my advisor turned out to be a father of two (whose wife is also an academic in our dept) and is super supportive of me as a student mother.

Good luck, hang in there! You are not alone and you can do this!

The OP has stated that there are 6-8 people in her class expecting babies.  ONE baby might not be a huge distraction.  5 absolutely WOULD be a distraction.  Even 2 or 3 babies in a class would be too many.  The professors will be unable to make an exception for one mother, and not for all of the mothers. 

[swede]

Originally Posted by Super~Single~Mama 

Originally Posted by ReginaPhalange 

(nak) Just wanted to chime in with support to the OP. I am an academic mama who was halfway through a BA when DS1 was born. We had a major hiccup with childcare when I started back to school when he was 3 months old that left me with no choice but to ask my professors to bring him to class. Fortunately I had two great profs and an amazing T.A. that allowed me to do so. I always sat in the back by the door, nursed him as needed, and took him out of the room the second he made a peep. As he got older, later in the semester, I did wind up taking him out a lot and missing a decent amount of class. Prior to that though he slept through about 85% of it.

I don't know if it would work, but could you ask your professors if you could bring the baby to class? It may be a long shot with the new policy, but if you explained the situation, then maybe. Or offer to do a trial basis.

I agree that the best solution would be to have a helper watch the baby on campus, then you spend time nursing between classes and step out if need be. Either way I would let you professors know what's going on so they understand why you're in and out. You may be surprised, they could be very understanding! I hope so :) Even now in grad school my advisor turned out to be a father of two (whose wife is also an academic in our dept) and is super supportive of me as a student mother.

Good luck, hang in there! You are not alone and you can do this!

The OP has stated that there are 6-8 people in her class expecting babies.  ONE baby might not be a huge distraction.  5 absolutely WOULD be a distraction.  Even 2 or 3 babies in a class would be too many.  The professors will be unable to make an exception for one mother, and not for all of the mothers. 

Maybe the other mothers won't ask.  I really don't see the harm in asking.

[Chamomile Girl]

Originally Posted by swede 

Originally Posted by Super~Single~Mama 

Originally Posted by ReginaPhalange 

(nak) Just wanted to chime in with support to the OP. I am an academic mama who was halfway through a BA when DS1 was born. We had a major hiccup with childcare when I started back to school when he was 3 months old that left me with no choice but to ask my professors to bring him to class. Fortunately I had two great profs and an amazing T.A. that allowed me to do so. I always sat in the back by the door, nursed him as needed, and took him out of the room the second he made a peep. As he got older, later in the semester, I did wind up taking him out a lot and missing a decent amount of class. Prior to that though he slept through about 85% of it.

I don't know if it would work, but could you ask your professors if you could bring the baby to class? It may be a long shot with the new policy, but if you explained the situation, then maybe. Or offer to do a trial basis.

I agree that the best solution would be to have a helper watch the baby on campus, then you spend time nursing between classes and step out if need be. Either way I would let you professors know what's going on so they understand why you're in and out. You may be surprised, they could be very understanding! I hope so :) Even now in grad school my advisor turned out to be a father of two (whose wife is also an academic in our dept) and is super supportive of me as a student mother.

Good luck, hang in there! You are not alone and you can do this!

The OP has stated that there are 6-8 people in her class expecting babies.  ONE baby might not be a huge distraction.  5 absolutely WOULD be a distraction.  Even 2 or 3 babies in a class would be too many.  The professors will be unable to make an exception for one mother, and not for all of the mothers. 

Maybe the other mothers won't ask.  I really don't see the harm in asking.

I do. The harm in asking is that the syllabus says:

Children and pets are not allowed in seminar, professional operations, simulation, and any testing sessions.

Why on earth should the OP think it should not/ would not apply to her? I am a teacher and my husband is a professor and I can tell you right now that even asking is going to ruffle feathers and show an awful lot of entitlement (which, frankly, the existence of this entire thread already shows).