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College attempting to ban breastfeeding in class - Page 5

post #81 of 144
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Originally Posted by swede View Post


 

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Originally Posted by Super~Single~Mama View Post



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Originally Posted by ReginaPhalange View Post

(nak) Just wanted to chime in with support to the OP. I am an academic mama who was halfway through a BA when DS1 was born. We had a major hiccup with childcare when I started back to school when he was 3 months old that left me with no choice but to ask my professors to bring him to class. Fortunately I had two great profs and an amazing T.A. that allowed me to do so. I always sat in the back by the door, nursed him as needed, and took him out of the room the second he made a peep. As he got older, later in the semester, I did wind up taking him out a lot and missing a decent amount of class. Prior to that though he slept through about 85% of it.

 

I don't know if it would work, but could you ask your professors if you could bring the baby to class? It may be a long shot with the new policy, but if you explained the situation, then maybe. Or offer to do a trial basis.

 

I agree that the best solution would be to have a helper watch the baby on campus, then you spend time nursing between classes and step out if need be. Either way I would let you professors know what's going on so they understand why you're in and out. You may be surprised, they could be very understanding! I hope so :) Even now in grad school my advisor turned out to be a father of two (whose wife is also an academic in our dept) and is super supportive of me as a student mother.

 

Good luck, hang in there! You are not alone and you can do this!


The OP has stated that there are 6-8 people in her class expecting babies.  ONE baby might not be a huge distraction.  5 absolutely WOULD be a distraction.  Even 2 or 3 babies in a class would be too many.  The professors will be unable to make an exception for one mother, and not for all of the mothers. 


Maybe the other mothers won't ask.  I really don't see the harm in asking.


I do.  She has other options.  She should utilize them.  They don't cost extra money, her baby would be with her HUSBAND (who I'm assuming should be trusted with his child?????) or her MOTHER (who I'm assuming isn't toxic???)

 

I think asking a professor to bring a baby to class should be an absolute LAST resort, and only used when NECESSARY.  Husband falls ill and can't take care of the baby?  "Professor, it won't happen again but I really need to bring my baby to class today, if she causes a disruption I'll take her out."  Another child in the family is sick and husband has to take care of that child?  Same thing - as a ONE TIME exception, not as an every single class time exception.

 

A professor's rules should be respected.  This is not an anti-mother rule - its for the class to be productive, which is really hard when there are babies.

post #82 of 144

That policy is just wrong.  If it were me, I'd take a stand and if they didn't come to their senses I'd consider organizing a nurse in.

Stay strong mama!  Big hug

post #83 of 144

A majority of my college courses had someone with a baby, usually more than one.  And I might add that I have had classes at a private religious college, a community college, and several state colleges.

 

In every class, the mama sat in the back, had baby in a sling or other such thing, and left when baby got funny.  Heck, in one class we had a mama, her newborn and her 3 kids- EVERY class.  Tell you what, I ran into her several years later, and her kids value education and mama time.

 

OP- talk to your profs.  If they say no, start planning your plan B.  You may even get away with the first 1-3 weeks of having your bundle of joy with you, and then you will need to utilize plan B.

 

And I don't see this thread as seeking entitlement.  One never knows the answer til they ask the question.

post #84 of 144

I don't think you can file a complaint on the ebf angle bcs they are not banning bf just not allowing children. The law states anywhere a mother and child are otherwise authorized to be and your child is not authorized to be in the class.

I had ds2 just before the semester started. I had to take the class. I knew the professor and she was very hesitant but agreed to a trial period. I brought ds in the sling, nursed him if he started to move and it worked great. I brought him for a few months until he could go longer periods then dh would just meet me outside of the  classroom 1/2 way through class. It is entirely up to your professors but since you have the option for your dh or mom to be outside of the classroom (or nearby) then I just think you need to let the professor know when your child needs fed you will be qtly excuusing yourself. I think the idea of a txt is great. I think you can totally work this out but I don't think you can go from the angle of I deserve this and I have to have this accomodation. It needs to be more on the lines of this is what my baby and I need, how can we make that work? Good luck.

post #85 of 144


The OP has stated that there are 6-8 people in her class expecting babies.  ONE baby might not be a huge distraction.  5 absolutely WOULD be a distraction.  Even 2 or 3 babies in a class would be too many.  The professors will be unable to make an exception for one mother, and not for all of the mothers. 


Maybe the other mothers won't ask.  I really don't see the harm in asking.


I do.  She has other options.  She should utilize them.  They don't cost extra money, her baby would be with her HUSBAND (who I'm assuming should be trusted with his child?????) or her MOTHER (who I'm assuming isn't toxic???)

 

I think asking a professor to bring a baby to class should be an absolute LAST resort, and only used when NECESSARY.  Husband falls ill and can't take care of the baby?  "Professor, it won't happen again but I really need to bring my baby to class today, if she causes a disruption I'll take her out."  Another child in the family is sick and husband has to take care of that child?  Same thing - as a ONE TIME exception, not as an every single class time exception.

 

A professor's rules should be respected.  This is not an anti-mother rule - its for the class to be productive, which is really hard when there are babies.

I am really shocked by the vehemence some posters are showing towardsa a mother trying to think outside the box, and keep her baby with there.  Sdly, I am sure that for some posters, this stems from the fact that they weren't able to do the same :(  Please ,op, don't let hte naysayers dissuade you - there is NO harm in asking.  It is extremely reasonable to ask, based ont he assumption that your baby will not be disruptive.  I wish more women would consider standing up for their, and their babies', rights and needs.

post #86 of 144


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by PatienceAndLove View Post

A majority of my college courses had someone with a baby, usually more than one.  And I might add that I have had classes at a private religious college, a community college, and several state colleges.

 

In every class, the mama sat in the back, had baby in a sling or other such thing, and left when baby got funny.  Heck, in one class we had a mama, her newborn and her 3 kids- EVERY class.  Tell you what, I ran into her several years later, and her kids value education and mama time.

 

OP- talk to your profs.  If they say no, start planning your plan B.  You may even get away with the first 1-3 weeks of having your bundle of joy with you, and then you will need to utilize plan B.

 

And I don't see this thread as seeking entitlement.  One never knows the answer til they ask the question.


BRAVO!!!!

post #87 of 144


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chamomile Girl View Post


Why on earth should the OP think it should not/ would not apply to her? I am a teacher and my husband is a professor and I can tell you right now that even asking is going to ruffle feathers and show an awful lot of entitlement (which, frankly, the existence of this entire thread already shows).

 

It wasn't so long ago, that babies WERE entitled to be nursed by their mothers, and the mothers also were able to continue on with their lives.  If the mother feels physically up to it, then I really don't see the problem.  The entitlement to me, is from people claiming the mere presence of a baby is distracting. 

 

It is really interesting to me that the people most upset by the idea of the OP bringing a quiet baby with them to class are those women who didn't even try to do so, and were thus seperated from their own children.  I am sorry for your losses, truly.  But why not objectively conisder wht the op is asking, instead of reacting only to the fact that you didn't try to do the same?


 

post #88 of 144
Quote:
Originally Posted by swede View Post


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chamomile Girl View Post


Why on earth should the OP think it should not/ would not apply to her? I am a teacher and my husband is a professor and I can tell you right now that even asking is going to ruffle feathers and show an awful lot of entitlement (which, frankly, the existence of this entire thread already shows).

 

It wasn't so long ago, that babies WERE entitled to be nursed by their mothers, and the mothers also were able to continue on with their lives.  If the mother feels physically up to it, then I really don't see the problem.  The entitlement to me, is from people claiming the mere presence of a baby is distracting. 

 

It is really interesting to me that the people most upset by the idea of the OP bringing a quiet baby with them to class are those women who didn't even try to do so, and were thus seperated from their own children.  I am sorry for your losses, truly.  But why not objectively conisder wht the op is asking, instead of reacting only to the fact that you didn't try to do the same?


 


Because its on the bloody syllabus! Its exactly the same as asking to change the assignments, or skip the reading or something. If its on the syllabus chances are the prof has given it thought and made the call. So what you are advocating is that the OP march into the professor's office and say "Hey, I know that the syllabus says no kids in the classroom, but I think I ought to be able to bring my baby anyways." Is that not the very definition of entitlement?!

You are making an awful lot of assumptions about the nature of babies and about everyone's tolerance of them. I find this thread very interesting because I am all about kids being allowed to appear almost anywhere, but, I just cannot agree with this. It has never been nor will it ever be appropriate to bring your baby to class with you. If you need to in an emergency that's a different scenario, but to assume that toting a kid to class with you (no matter the temperament of the kid, no matter what), just because you should be entitled to as a matter of course makes me dizzy.gif.
post #89 of 144

you're sorry for our LOSSES?  only reacting to not trying to do the same??  you are making assumptions while being very condescending.  My kid didn't DIE.. sorry for my loss?  my goodness.  we are talking about bringing a kid to a CLASS... not being away from them for days or weeks at a time.

 

my problem has nothing to do with 'not trying to do the same.' and its ridiculous to assume that those of us with a problem with babies in class are just jealous that we didn't or couldn't and therefor don't want OP or anyone else to do so.  I'm pretty sure we are all adults here.  That would be vindictive childness to just want the OP to keep her kid out of a college class because we did.  It is perfectly reasonable to not want little babies in EVERY single situation mom might want to be in.

Quote:
Originally Posted by swede View Post


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chamomile Girl View Post


Why on earth should the OP think it should not/ would not apply to her? I am a teacher and my husband is a professor and I can tell you right now that even asking is going to ruffle feathers and show an awful lot of entitlement (which, frankly, the existence of this entire thread already shows).

 

It wasn't so long ago, that babies WERE entitled to be nursed by their mothers, and the mothers also were able to continue on with their lives.  If the mother feels physically up to it, then I really don't see the problem.  The entitlement to me, is from people claiming the mere presence of a baby is distracting. 

 

It is really interesting to me that the people most upset by the idea of the OP bringing a quiet baby with them to class are those women who didn't even try to do so, and were thus seperated from their own children.  I am sorry for your losses, truly.  But why not objectively conisder wht the op is asking, instead of reacting only to the fact that you didn't try to do the same?


 

post #90 of 144

I think you should try what you are most comfortable with first - and if that means filing a complaint, do it. You go to the college, and you are probably the most familiar with how it works and what might be feasible for you and your baby on the way (btw, congratulations!) I like the texting idea as well if you can't have baby with you. Also, maybe consider putting the baby in a sling while you are in class, so you can just nurse him/her back to sleep without much disruption. I mean, I agree with you about newborns sleeping away the hours, and a seminar is what - 3 hours? The baby probably wouldn't peep, and if he/she did...then you could excuse yourself.

Otherwise, I might even consider asking the class about it? - policy or no policy. Just take a minute or two and tell them how much it means to you and that you do not want to it to interfere with class, but that it means a lot to you? It's obvious that you don't want to disrupt anyone or cause a problem, you just want to do right by your baby and get your degree...no harm there mama! I give you a lot of credit for doing it.

Good luck!

 

Love these slings - www.hugamonkey.com

My little one slept in one of these for the first 2 months of her life, while I got laundry, paperwork, cleaning etc done in the house...and I wanted her with me. :) I bet you could get 6 weeks out of it to finish your degree in peace!

post #91 of 144

PS. I just wanted to say, that truly - it doesn't matter what other people think about you wanting to do this and make it work. You want to, it's your baby, your life, your family. Just make your own choice and don't worry about what that one person might think or say, or throw a fit about it. Oh well. You will feel a hundred percent more confident if you make it about your baby and what you feel is best...which you seem to be anyway! I am a believer that the meaning of FAIR doesn't = exact same treatment. It means people getting what they need. So, likely there will be mothers in your class who might say "oh my gosh, i didn't know  you could do that, i'm furious" or "how come she gets to bring her baby and i don't" - my response is, instead of banning against one another ladies...ban together and HELP each other out. We want our babies with us. Period. Learning can happen beautifully, EVEN with babies around...hell us mama's do it every day! :)

 

More good luck.

post #92 of 144

Don't freak out :)  If you have someone who can be there with baby, just nurse right before class so baby won't be hungry and go to class.  Most classes are less than 2 hours and if it's longer, you'll have a break - even a newborn can last 1.5 - 2 hours occasionally especially with a competant caregiver.  Your caregiver can give baby a pinky or a binky to keep him happy until you are out of class.  If it's isolated to classtime and you're nursing 100% of the time otherwise, it won't be a problem.  Again, don't freak out, don't file a complaint, don't worry about pumping, and don't stress yourself out.  This isn't a big deal -  YOU CAN DO IT :)

post #93 of 144


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chamomile Girl View Post


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by swede View Post


 

 

It wasn't so long ago, that babies WERE entitled to be nursed by their mothers, and the mothers also were able to continue on with their lives.  If the mother feels physically up to it, then I really don't see the problem.  The entitlement to me, is from people claiming the mere presence of a baby is distracting. 

 

It is really interesting to me that the people most upset by the idea of the OP bringing a quiet baby with them to class are those women who didn't even try to do so, and were thus seperated from their own children.  I am sorry for your losses, truly.  But why not objectively conisder wht the op is asking, instead of reacting only to the fact that you didn't try to do the same?


 



Because its on the bloody syllabus! Its exactly the same as asking to change the assignments, or skip the reading or something. If its on the syllabus chances are the prof has given it thought and made the call. So what you are advocating is that the OP march into the professor's office and say "Hey, I know that the syllabus says no kids in the classroom, but I think I ought to be able to bring my baby anyways." Is that not the very definition of entitlement?!You are making an awful lot of assumptions about the nature of babies and about everyone's tolerance of them. I find this thread very interesting because I am all about kids being allowed to appear almost anywhere, but, I just cannot agree with this. It has never been nor will it ever be appropriate to bring your baby to class with you. If you need to in an emergency that's a different scenario, but to assume that toting a kid to class with you (no matter the temperament of the kid, no matter what), just because you should be entitled to as a matter of course makes me dizzy.gif.

Have you actually read my posts?  I have said repeatedly, "What if the baby is quiet the entire time?????????"  Perhaps teh professor hasn't really thought it through.  S/he may have never considered a sleepign newborn when putting that on the syllabus.  Most reasonable people are usually not offended by the mere asking of a question.
 

post #94 of 144

I'm not sure why the OP is confused as to what to do. She said the syllabus said no children or pets. Seems simple to me. She could file a complaint, but I just think that will take too much time and energy, which she won't have with a newborn. I personally agree with her instructor/professor. OP, just reschedule your classes to the summer or fall semester. You knew you were pregnant and could/should have prepared accordingly. You had time to figure it all out. OP, maybe you could ask your classmates how they all feel about it. It might make your decision-making easier. After all, they are paying to be in that class and they have rights too. It would be arrogant on your part to just assume everyone should accept a potentially crying/fussing newborn in the class while trying to stayed focused. They expect and paid for quiet and no distractions in class, not newborn babies.

post #95 of 144

I'm a college professor.   This is what I'd do if I were you:

 

1) Start with the instructor - in person if at all possible.  Speak with them about your plans/situation/intention.  Inform them of your commitment to the class, but inform them gently of the law.  Watch your attitude -- some profs have a very 'holier than thou' attitude; look past it.  Keep the appearance of a student who is trustworthy and mature.  Assure the instructor (and follow-through) that you are going to be doing everything you can to respect the atmosphere of their classroom and minimize distractions.

 

2) Find out who the division dean is.  Make a pro-active appointment with them.  Do the same -- present as a mature, trustworthy individual who is committed to both finishing the program and aware of their breastfeeding rights under law.   Might want to inform the dean (who will not be unaware of the potential fallout that a women's college health program who could be protrayed as breastfeeding unfriendly if this gets any PR coverage) of the new Surgeon General's Call to Action to Support Breastfeeding, too: http://www.surgeongeneral.gov/topics/breastfeeding/index.html

 

(Notice the importance of pro-active action here?  It makes all the difference in the world.)

 

3) Proceed with your plan, doing everything you can to minimize the distractions and respect the atmosphere of the classroom.

 

4) If there is negative fall out -- find out what the student appeals process/grievance procedure is at the College.  You will be able to grieve and appeal any decisions that negatively impact your grade/program completion.

 

Good Luck!

 

post #96 of 144

I'm thinking this has nothing to do with breastfeeding in class and everything to do with children and/or pets in class. Hence, the law that states "wherever mother AND child are allowed to be" is not inclusive of this situation.

post #97 of 144

Right.  The law allows for mothers to nurse their children wherever they happen to be.  No one can tell them they can't and need to leave.  The law does not say that mothers can bring their babies who also happen to be breastfed wherever they want.  Law says you can nurse your baby wherever you bring your baby.  Not that you can bring your baby anywhere you want so long as they don't eat formula.

 

If it were the latter, it would be wholly unfair to babies who need to be on formula... then we are talking laws that say if a baby needs formula, they aren't ALLOWED somewhere even though babies who nurse are.  You can't have it both ways.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by purplepaperclip View Post

I'm thinking this has nothing to do with breastfeeding in class and everything to do with children and/or pets in class. Hence, the law that states "wherever mother AND child are allowed to be" is not inclusive of this situation.

post #98 of 144
Quote:
Originally Posted by treeoflife3 View Post

Right.  The law allows for mothers to nurse their children wherever they happen to be.  No one can tell them they can't and need to leave.  The law does not say that mothers can bring their babies who also happen to be breastfed wherever they want.  Law says you can nurse your baby wherever you bring your baby.  Not that you can bring your baby anywhere you want so long as they don't eat formula.

 

If it were the latter, it would be wholly unfair to babies who need to be on formula... then we are talking laws that say if a baby needs formula, they aren't ALLOWED somewhere even though babies who nurse are.  You can't have it both ways.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by purplepaperclip View Post

I'm thinking this has nothing to do with breastfeeding in class and everything to do with children and/or pets in class. Hence, the law that states "wherever mother AND child are allowed to be" is not inclusive of this situation.


 


I don't know if the OP's state was mentioned so I don't know exactly what the law says, but it is common for breastfeeding law to say "wherever mother and child are allowed to be" or "otherwise entitled to be", not "wherever they happen to be." Meaning that a mother cannot be excluded for breastfeeding if the location otherwise "allows" children (like a park or a mall), but does allow exclusion in a location where children are not allowed such as a workplace or college classroom. So when purplepaperclip says this has nothing to do with breastfeeding, she's saying that the exclusion applies generally, to children and pets, and not specifically to bfing children--which is within the law. Even if every pregnant student signed a pledge to bf the rule still exludes bottle feeding babies.

post #99 of 144
Quote:
Originally Posted by swede View Post


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chamomile Girl View Post


Why on earth should the OP think it should not/ would not apply to her? I am a teacher and my husband is a professor and I can tell you right now that even asking is going to ruffle feathers and show an awful lot of entitlement (which, frankly, the existence of this entire thread already shows).

 

It wasn't so long ago, that babies WERE entitled to be nursed by their mothers, and the mothers also were able to continue on with their lives.  If the mother feels physically up to it, then I really don't see the problem.  The entitlement to me, is from people claiming the mere presence of a baby is distracting. 

 

It is really interesting to me that the people most upset by the idea of the OP bringing a quiet baby with them to class are those women who didn't even try to do so, and were thus seperated from their own children.  I am sorry for your losses, truly.  But why not objectively conisder wht the op is asking, instead of reacting only to the fact that you didn't try to do the same?


 


LOL I did take a baby to class with me, and would NEVER do it again.  I didn't get ANYTHING out of the class, had to leave more often than I could stay, and had to walk around the back of the classroom and listen to the lecture, and not actually take notes.  If it hadn't been a HUGE auditorium that wasn't even half full, I wouldn't have been able to go to class and not disrupt everyone else there.  My grade was not good (I had NO other options for childcare - it was either take the baby, or not go and then I would have failed), and I would NEVER do it again.  I lost out BECAUSE I took my baby to class.

post #100 of 144
Quote:
Originally Posted by swede View Post

 

Have you actually read my posts?  I have said repeatedly, "What if the baby is quiet the entire time?????????"  Perhaps teh professor hasn't really thought it through.  S/he may have never considered a sleepign newborn when putting that on the syllabus.  Most reasonable people are usually not offended by the mere asking of a question.
 



Did you read the OP's posts?  She said that this has never appeared on a syllabus before, and that this semester there are 6-8  (SIX TO EIGHT) pregnant people in her class.  It sounds like the prof was doing this BECAUSE of newborns.  Newborns are not silent - even when they sleep.  Mine was a NOISY sleeper until he was 4months?  THEN he got quiet.

 

People are not entitled to take their children everywhere with them.  It's one of the things that makes having kids so darned inconvenient (even though we love them winky.gif).

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