So low on patience!! My children are extremely demanding

[kdescalzi]

Hi mamas,

Lately my children, 4yr old ds and 20mo dd have been extremely demanding. They want everything not now but RIGHT NOW. All my attention and all my energy at ALL TIMES. They are relentless and I feel like a slave. I practise everyday explaining patience and how important it is to give mama a moment to finish one task before I can move on. ie, mommy needs to wipe brothers bum before I can nurse you!!! I am so drained. I know it is just a phase, but I am running out of patience. I am so tired of getting yelled at and called for. I start the am with explaining that mama can only do one thing at a time, but I am screaming by bathtime. Any commiseration???

If I hear, "mama, watch this"!! one more time so help me.....

[rubidoux]

Aww, that's hard!  I've got a 23 mo old and a 7 yr old and I can feel that way sometimes, but my older is at school all day, so I get a big break.  I remember a while back, well like 4 yrs ago now, lol, but I'm scarred by it...  when my older went through this 3 week long phase where he just followed me around saying "pick me up!"  Omg, I thought I was going to loose it!  Are you getting enough time to yourself?  I think you can handle anything as long as you have a good solid naptime and/or the LO's go to bed significantly before you do, or if your partner can take the pressure off a bit here and there.  

[kdescalzi]

thanks for the reply. my dd still nurses a lot at night so i am completely run down. after one of our good nights, i feel like i can handle things better....unfortunately, i am usually exhausted. a tired mom= an impatient mom. i feel like such a monster right now. i can only keep it together for so long!!

[sublimeliving]

Those ages are the most physically demanding. It will get better. : )

Have you thought about hiring a tween mother's helper? Maybe they could come over after school, and you can catch a nap or read a book while they play w/ your kiddos.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by sublimeliving 

Those ages are the most physically demanding. It will get better. : )

Have you thought about hiring a tween mother's helper? Maybe they could come over after school, and you can catch a nap or read a book while they play w/ your kiddos.

I'm going to try this, I think. I'm not the OP, but her thread title caught my eye. I'm PMSing (or something - starting to wonder if I have post tubal ligation syndrome or something), and ds2 (5.5) and dd2 (19 months) are both just being incredibly demanding...and even dd1 (7.5) is tough sometimes. She's very sweet, and tries to be helpful, but she also goes off half-cocked and does weird things for no apparent reason (eg. getting the big mug of coins off the counter, and leaving them on the table where dd2 could get them...what a mess!), and she goes absolutely frantic when she's hurt or upset with her brother - screaming and wailing and carrying on that sets my teeth on edge (I know she feels how she feels, but it's definitely a stressor for me). This has been an awful week, and last week was nearly as bad. My house is a pit. My kids are driving me nuts. I'm yelling and threatening a LOT, and I feel like the worst mom ever.

Somehow, a mother's helper didn't even cross my mind! There's a neighbour who loves my kids, but I haven't had her babysit, because dd2 doesn't know her very well (the other two know her very well, as she's ds1's ex-girlfriend of over a year). Maybe I'll see if she wants to do an hour or two a couple of times a week.

Thank you!!

[kdescalzi]

I wish I had someone I trusted enough to be with my lo's. Unfortunately, for financial reasons, I am now starting work again. Very part time but my mom has to watch the kids and I cannot ask her for any more help. I am starting tomorrow, so therefore, starting a whole new realm of tired!!!

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by kdescalzi 

I wish I had someone I trusted enough to be with my lo's. Unfortunately, for financial reasons, I am now starting work again. Very part time but my mom has to watch the kids and I cannot ask her for any more help. I am starting tomorrow, so therefore, starting a whole new realm of tired!!!

I used to be a WOHM, and it was definitely exhausting, but it's honestly a whole different kind of tired. I found the trick was to focus on the pluses - for instance, I used my commute home every day as a chance to focus on the fact that nobody was asking me for anything (after having work demands all day, and knowing I'd have mommy demands as soon as I walked in the door). That wouldn't work for me if I were driving, I must admit (I find driving insanely stressful), but it was great when I rode the bus. I used my lunch break to make shopping lists and to do lists and stuff like that, because I had a relatively quiet, interruption-free time to do that. So...I was doing a LOT, but there were opportunities to make it less stressful, in a few ways.

Don't get me wrong. I have absolutely no desire to go back to work, but there are some pluses to it, if you can make them work. A workday and commute usually has a few built-in "breathers", if you can find them.

ETA: The thing with a mother's helper is that you don't have to have quite the same degree of trust as with a babysitter, because you're going to be there, too. Obviously, you (or I) wouldn't get someone we didn't trust at all, but there's a big difference, imo, between someone you're having around your kids, and someone you're leaving alone with your kids.