Is cosleeping really just creating a problem if you plan to transition them?

[Funny Face]

My idea of cosleeping would be to allow our children to sleep in our room (when they are little, in our bed) until they are ready and they want to move to their own room (or are offered the choice of their own room and go along willingly). 

Obviously, many parents transition their children out of their bed and into their own long before this happens for a variety of reasons- often with great difficulty. I've done it myself and read enough posts asking for help because the child is upset and resistant to sleeping in their own bed.

So my question is: If I can't stick with it to the end (cosleeping until the child chooses not to) am I setting my child up for trauma? If I believe my child has a biological need to sleep close to their parents and I nurture that need from birth is it cruel to then transition them to their own bed before they are ready?

Would it be better for them to never have slept with me at all? Or to transition them 'before they will remember' (an argument I've heard)?

I know there are a lot of benefits to cosleeping but is there also the chance that I am doing damage when I move them out of my bed?

These are really questions I'm wanting to explore as a mother who is cosleeping (and would like to continue to as long as the children like) and I'm married to someone who wants them out of our bed as soon as possible. Am I setting my children up for hardship in doing this? 

Thoughts? Studies and research?

FWIW I truly cannot imagine not sleeping with my babies and transitioning my 2 y.o. into a separate room where he sleeps with sister/dad has been very sad for me and hard for him- which prompted these questions.

[painefaria]

We transitioned our DS slowly. We started when he was 2.5. I would nurse to sleep and then transition him to a twin in our room. He would most likely end up in our bed at sometime during the night and I would return him again after he was sleeping. Then we started in his bed with the same process. We also stopped nursing during this process because I lost my milk supply during pregnancy. About 3 months ago we moved him into his own room (adjoining to ours) and he spends most nights there. Overall the process took almost a year and he has taken the move rather well.

[stephbrownthinks]

I think it depends on the child. I planned on cosleeping with my DS until he was ready to move. He came into our bed the night he was born and cosleeping worked soo well. Until he turned 4 months old. He'd thrash and scream and for some weird reason was perfectly fine if we put him in his own bed. I tried sleeping with him by myself, more blankets, less blankets, white noise... everything. He just wanted some space. When he cried in the night my husband would go bring him to me and I'd nurse him to sleep and fall asleep myself. He'd start crying and not be happy until he was back in his own space. Now at almost 9 months he will occasionally stay in our bed but he tosses around much more than if he's on his own.

I love sleeping with him, but we honestly all get better sleep if we're separate.

Me and my sisters all co slept with my parents. I got kicked out around a year because I kicked and talked in my sleep:) Supposedly I slept much better as soon as I was alone. My younger sister decided to move to her own bed around 2.5, and my baby sister would have probably slept with my mom till she moved out if it was an option. Up until she was 11 or so she'd fall asleep with my mom then my dad would move her in her sleep to her own bed (starting probably when she was 5). So, 3 kids, same parents, totally different outcomes.