My almost 11 y.o dd is definitely going through puberty...body odour, breast development, oily skin and VERY greasy hair. She has never been one to care about looks which I am happy about. She has never wanted to look a certain way or have expectations of hair styles or the like. But now that she is stinky and greasy I wish she had some awareness of how she is presenting herself. I know she could use a few extra showers a week but the one Sunday night shower she has is still a chore to get her into. She resists washing her face morning or night, it becomes a battle so right now she really just isn't doing it. Her hair is waist length and she complains every time I brush it which we do morning and night of course but every single time there is a whole lot of complaining. Her waist length hair has I think kind of become a defining point for herself and she refuses to cut it yet she can't manage the upkeep. Every time I mention that she wouldn't have to go through the 'torture' of having me brush it out every day if she had a shorter cut she takes it very personally and is quite hurt that I would even mention it. The grease on the top of her head is very thick and obvious, she is prone to dandruff as well.
Anyways, how do you encourage your pre-teen to increase the amount of grooming time to meet the needs of their changing bodies? We do talk positively about the changes that she is experiencing but she couldn't care less about getting older or anything that goes along with that. I worry that kids at school will start noticing her greasy hair and body odour and that she will get that stigma attached to her before she starts to actually be interested in taking care of herself.
Thanks for any suggestions.