Pacifiers

[littlebearsmama]

Hi, there!

I never used a pacifier for my son who is now 2 1/2. I suppose that I had what I thought were good reasons not to, such as dependency on pacifiers, mouth formation, milk production etc.

I try to attachment parent as best as I can.

Our surprise twins were born about a month ago. I'm finding that there's nothing like being the mother of multiples to challenge many of my parenting principles. I can only change, dress, get to one baby at a time, though I definitely can tandem nurse and do what I can tandemly. This inevitably leaves one baby crying, sometimes for a few minutes. It breaks my heart. I never let my son cry for minutes. The smallest little whimper from him and I came running. But I'm only one person with two babies and a toddler.

So my question to other attachment parenters out there is do you use pacifiers and if so or not, what is your justification for using or your reasons for not using pacifiers? When do you use them,, if you do? If you don't, what other coping strategies do you employ to keep your children from crying it out until you are able to get to them?

Your answers are very appreciated.

[APToddlerMama]

We AP and use pacifiers.  To me, AP is about meeting my son's needs.  DS has always had a real need to suck that went far beyond my tolerance for being sucked on!  In all seriousness though, DS would use me as a pacifier which would lead me to get mastitis, so for me it was definitely the best thing to do.  It sounds like in your situation, if you could use a paci, you'd be able to meet your kids' needs instead of letting them cry.  Parenting twin infants and a toddler is a big job! 

[herdingkittens]

we used a paci with ours when they were very small (although not until they were nursing well - maybe like after a month or so).  i used them for those in between moments - like nursing them to sleep in bed and then popping one in so i could get up, and they could still suck a little in their sleep. but mainly when i needed to drive somewhere and they were in the car seat.  i stopped using them early on so we never had any attachment to paci issues.  basically i used them for when i really needed them, but never depended on them, if that makes sense.  

enjoy those little ones!  twins are a wonderful experience!!  

[annettemarie]

It does kind of kick your ideals in the butt, doesn't it?

My other 4 never cried for more than a few seconds and never took pacis. With the twins, Molly won't take one and seems to enjoy screaming. Matthew really likes it though and you know what? I am THRILLED. Thank goodness one of them likes the paci.

[Shuli]

I had a marathon nurser who could suck for over 45 minutes and once latch issues were solved within the first week or so, out came the paci's. We AP also, although we don't co-sleep and it was the best thing. R kept his paci and at about 10 months it was for the crib only and he knew that if he wanted out he had to "unplug". D, who was the marathon nurser stopped using them when he was three months old and started teething, but by then it wasn't an issue and he is fine now. They may learn to self soothe and it's easier to take away a paci than a thumb.

[aja-belly]

mine are almost 2 and still love their pacifiers. i've always had a fast flow and overactive let down so i think my kids needed more sucking than they could get at the breast without overeating. attachment parenting is about meeting your baby's needs. for us that absolutely included pacifiers.

[Julia'sMom]

Pacifiers started in the hospital for our eldest dd.  She just had a high sucking need and would scream when not nursing.  She gave it up herself around 6 months.  So, we started with pacifiers for the twins as well.  Ds gave his up himself around 4 months, no issues.  Dd2 still uses her, but it's confined to the crib.  She know she has to hand us her pacifier before she gets out of the crib.  We'll eventually even stop that, but for now, I'll do whatever it takes to get some more sleep.  :)