Has all the toilet-training readiness signs but hasn't peed on the toilet yet. Anything I can do?

[4Marmalade]

I have actually toilet-trained two children in the past so I know it will happen when they are ready.  My oldest two actually trained in a couple of days and it was totally their idea.  Ds1 was about 2-1/2 and dd1 was just over 2.  So, I know I am probably just frustrated and it will happen when they're ready but just wondering if anyone has any suggestions.

My twins are now 31 months and for the past couple of months they are showing all the readiness signs.  They know when they are peeing/pooping, they want to wear underwear, they are excited to sit on the toilet and try often, they don't like being wet or poopy, they wake up dry almost every day, etc...  Problem is they have yet to have that first pee on the toilet.  It just feels like if that would happen we would be on our way and the rest would happen quickly.  They want to sit there regularly and I ask them often and they are excited to do it.  They just can't.  I would be all for waiting if they didn't want to be in underwear all the time.  With the two of them running around you can imagine all the clean up I have to do all day long.  We go 2-3 days before I get fed up and tell them we need to put diapers on.

Is there any way to encourage the first pee on the toilet/potty?  We've tried running water and reading books so they're sitting there longer and not thinking so much about it.  They really want to use toilet paper and flush the toilet but I told them they need to pee in the toilet first before they can use it and flush.  Are they just not ready even though every other sign is there?

[oaktreemama]

I will be watching this thread with interest. My son is 32 mos old and also shows all the signs of being ready. He will even occasionally pee in the potty if we ask. For the most part though he refuses all of our gentle requests to sit on the potty.

[porcelina]

My DS, 37 months, is only just now starting to really get the hang of it. He did one or two pees/poops on the potty in the last 4-6 months, and clearly knew when he was going, but just was not ready. I think we have to appreciate that it's not just physical readiness, but also a desire to do things on their own, as well as a confidence issue. The times we've tried to cajole him to do it, he's tried to comply, as we tell him stories from the point of view of doll/animal/toy about using the potty. He's made comments like, "I'm a little nervous," "I'm a little scared." I think as adults we think it's normal to use the potty and they should be able to jump up and do it as soon as they are aware they are going pee in their diaper, but it's much more than that. We have trained them for 2-3 years to pee/poop IN THE DIAPER, not anywhere else, and they have to relearn something they were taught at birth. (I'm doing EC with DS2, and he already shows clearly he does not want to go in his diaper.)

Anyway, bottom line is, you can cajole, bribe, incentivize, etc., all you want, but until they are truly ready, it's just going to be a struggle. Instead, maybe try to appreciate what a big step it is for them, beyond just the physical readiness.

[4Marmalade]

Originally Posted by porcelina 

My DS, 37 months, is only just now starting to really get the hang of it. He did one or two pees/poops on the potty in the last 4-6 months, and clearly knew when he was going, but just was not ready. I think we have to appreciate that it's not just physical readiness, but also a desire to do things on their own, as well as a confidence issue. The times we've tried to cajole him to do it, he's tried to comply, as we tell him stories from the point of view of doll/animal/toy about using the potty. He's made comments like, "I'm a little nervous," "I'm a little scared." I think as adults we think it's normal to use the potty and they should be able to jump up and do it as soon as they are aware they are going pee in their diaper, but it's much more than that. We have trained them for 2-3 years to pee/poop IN THE DIAPER, not anywhere else, and they have to relearn something they were taught at birth. (I'm doing EC with DS2, and he already shows clearly he does not want to go in his diaper.)

Anyway, bottom line is, you can cajole, bribe, incentivize, etc., all you want, but until they are truly ready, it's just going to be a struggle. Instead, maybe try to appreciate what a big step it is for them, beyond just the physical readiness.

I know.  I understand it's a big change and it's something that will eventually happen.  I get that it must feel completely different to go on a toilet than a diaper.  Don't get me wrong, it's very frustrating, but I am in no way pushing them, bribing them, etc...  This morning they both took off their own clothes and put the underwear on so we went with it.  But, unfortunately, 6 hours later, no success and lots of laundry.