weaning causing bad behavior/aggression?

[trelani]

My DS will be 3 in 2 months. He has been an ad lib nurser and even when my milk dried up during my pregnancy, he kept nursing. So now I nurse him and my 7 month old. He is VERY attached to nursing and I was beginning to feel the need for total weaning, but ultimately realized I don't need him totally weaned, but some perameters are needed. I realized I'd be happy if we got it down to nursing for sleep and waking up (and nap).

I night weaned him when I was pregnant by holding him and singing to him. It took 3 attempts before we were successful. Now he has to wait until 5:30am to nurse.  And for the past 6 months, when I nurse him to sleep, I only let him nurse for 10 minutes and then we just have to lay there. He STILL argues and has a mini tantrum about it a lot of times though.

Now during the day, when he wants to nurse we can sing up to 3 songs and then it is over. No long, endless nursing sessions. I am trying to do this and then I'd like to get it down to just 3 times a day for sleeping and waking up. But we are doing it very gradually. Even still, I feel like there has been a negative aggressive change in his behavior and wondering if this is why.

This is my first time having a 3 year old so I don't know if this is a sign of not feeling good, a growth spurt, my controlling the nursing sessions, having a new brother, or any combination of the above. Historically, my son has been consciensious, timid, loving, and shown great awareness and restraint for a child his age. His current behavior may include voicing the desire to hit/kick his dad, mom or baby brother, occasionally acting on it; arguing the opposite of EVERYTHING even if it means arguing the color of the sky; frustration at tasks, sudden irritability; demanding; running/jumping around, hitting the ground with objects. Many of these things are typical for other kids his age. It's just so upsetting for me because it's NOT typical for him. I feel like he is hyperactive (for him) and aggressive (for him). We had a whole week straight of it and it really wore me out to be a "good" mom: stay calm, natural consequences, etc. Now we have good and bad days or times through out the day. Today for the first time, he ran off on me at the store. He NEVER leaves me. He is still overall usually bashful and clingy to me. I feel like I"m constantly trying to ground him or put out fires.

Do children tend to act out with weaning? Is this just normal 3 year old behavior?

[ElliesMomma]

sounds like it's frustration about the weaning. 

Edited by ElliesMomma - 5/28/11 at 11:31pm

[trelani]

I guess I should add my husband couldn't help but notice the new behavior coincided with me limited the nursing to 3 songs and trying to distract or lessen nursings in general. It has been almost 3 weeks now and I'd say the hellish days began within a day or two of me implementing my weaning idea. 

[D_McG]

He sounds like a 3 year old :)  But IME after I weaned my 2 we all needed practice in how to relate without the 'magic boob'.  Just keep your limits firm and you guys will get through it.

[rightkindofme]

My daughter will be 3 in May and we are tandeming with her 5 month old sister.  I have also done limited weaning (we nurse 1-3 times/day) for my sanity.  We have also seen an upsurge in aggression recently.  :)  Noticing a pattern?  Thing is, all of the kids in playgroup are hitting the exact same thing.  One kid has been fully weaned for a while and another is still an only child nursing constantly.  I think it is the age.