Getting my toddler to fall asleep without the breast?

[Debobu]

HI all,

I need help!!!!

I need to help my DS (2 yrs-3 months) to fall asleep without nursing!!!!

I cannot do it anymore!!! I can't nurse him for 40 minutes,sometimes longer and have him squeezing, pinching, grabbing the other breast. I feel really bad and guilty but the truth is that I am tired of it. I feel exhausted and have gotten to the point where I don't want to have my breasts touched so much....I am realizing I am getting angry and resentful and that is not good for either of us.....:-( 

I am happy to nurse him before bed/nap but feel like I want him to be able to fall asleep some other way.

I am realizing that lately I am not so nice and patient with him while he tries to fall asleep and feel guilty and like a bad mom.

Any ideas? Any success stories of change please????!!!!!!

Thanks

[lifeguard]

We just recently weaned ds from falling asleep at the breast.

I started about a week before hand telling him that soon we would not be nursing before bed anymore. Then two days before I said "two more night" & on the last night I told him it was the last night we would be nursing to sleep.

The first night actually went better than the next couple but I would simply do our bedtime routine & then lay quietly with him. I told him I would only stay if lay down - which took a couple tries for him to get. It definitely took longer for him to fall asleep but that has certainly improved over the past couple of weeks.

He would ask all the time at first to nurse & I would say "remember, we don't nurse to sleep anymore but we can nurse tomorrow during the day". He got upset a little but I gave him lots of kisses & hugs. After about a week he generally stopped asking to nurse in bed.

[Debobu]

Thanks Lifeguard!!!!

Did you do anything special to help him fall asleep like singing to him or rubbing his back?-

Thanks!

[lifeguard]

I just laid with him & did the usually shushing & patting I've always done.

I forgot to add that I also got a couple books about falling asleep & one about all the ways I love him (that do not include nursing).

[Debobu]

Thanks lifeguard!

Can I ask you the names of the books if you liked them?

Thanks again!

[nukuspot]

subbing here too :)

[D_McG]

I nursed until my skin started crawling (just a few minutes, usually) and then would sing/cuddle/whatever for 5 minutes.  I figured even if he cried for 5 minutes he'd be fine.  If he was calming down I'd keep singing, If he was getting upset I'd nurse again (but only until my skin started crawling).  Then I'd repeat the process and eventually (not long) he got used to the singing/cuddling.

for my DD (my second) I had never had her ONLY nursing to sleep (learned my lesson with my son ) so for her I would just cuddle her or give her to DH or whatever.  Much easier.

I never ever allow that twiddling/poking thing.  I wouldn't have lasted a week nursing if I had to put up with that.  That always meant nursing ended immediately.  After the initial rules had been set, obviously.  I guess for a while I would give one warning.

i have found that when you're confident in your decisions it's much easier. You child really looks to you for cues to figure out if they should be upset or not. If you're confident and strong in your decisions it will go much smoother.

[babyjonesmama]

I weaned my 2 year old right around christmas, using christmas as a distraction. I think that the last night he nursed was christmas eve. I am due with baby #2 in march, so I was just done. I couldn't do it anymore. So we talked about it for a couple of weeks beforehand, and it really was OK. I think that there were only 2 episodes where he actually cried and had a fit about it, but other than that he was alright. He would ask for it, and cry a little bit, and seem sad, and it made me sad too, but I knew that we had to do it. It was probably just one or two weeks that he asked for it, and then stopped. He asks once in a while now, but it's just to be silly. It's cute though - his word for them is na-nas. He'll sometimes touch them and say, "Mommy, do you have na-nas?" But then we talk about how na-na milk is for little babies, and how his little sister is going to eat na-na milk, and he is totally OK with it. It was much easier on both of us than I thought it was going to be. : ) You can do it.