Assuming you're talking about me, I just wanted to clarify that I was a foster parent previously. I had 8 foster babies. I had my own problems with the system, and I met many other foster parents who had major problems, as well. Never met a foster child I didn't love, though. :) I tell people true stories from my own experience and the combined experiences of the many other FPs I know. I tell people what fostering is like in my county, based on those experiences, in addition to the information I've gotten from case workers, homefinders, etc. in the county. Yes, i actively discourage people in my county from fostering. And I sincerely hope that people in other places really find out what it's like in their area before they jump in. If it was only my experience that sucked, that's certainly not a good sample set. Unfortunately, I have pretty good data. And, really, our intentions when we started fostering were so good. We thought we were ready. We knew it would be "hard" and that we'd have our hearts broken, but we were "ready". We wanted to do what we could to help the kids get permanency, whether with us or with biofamily. We also had never parented and had ideas of how we would do that, too! We thought our first foster son was "hard", and now we laugh at ourselves (he was probably the easiest baby ever...). Similarly, we laugh at how naive we were about fostering.
Also, we've had good friends who lived through our experiences with us, go right ahead and start fostering (in a different county). They know what they're up against, and still are constantly surprised and hurt by the system. They don't yet regret doing it, but they definitely understand how impossible it is to be fully prepared, and how extremely hurt you can get. There's no easy answer, so I continue to tell people my truth. Because nobody I know who has been a foster parent or become a foster parent after me has EVER told me that what I'm saying is inappropriate or unnecessary. In fact, they've all told me the opposite.