Feeling ugly, but I don't like makeup. I look horrible in photos.....HELP!

[youngspiritmom]

I think this is the right forum to post this.... basically I'm feeling like a need a total makeover on my look lately. 

I'm normally a casual person, but I need a way for my casual style (comfortable clothes: jeans, usually no makeup) to look a whole lot better. I think as a mom I rarely take the time to evaluate how I look, and now that I finally do...it isn't good! I look really messy in photos and kind of worn out. I like my body etc.....I just need a way for my clothes and hair and face to look a little better.

How can I make casual clothes look nice?

How can I wear makeup that makes me look pretty but doesnt feel gunky?

How else can I look better?

Also - suggestions for best hairstyles for fine hair are appreciated (any natural dye ideas?)

Thanks!!!!!!

[Scarlettolive]

You definitely deserve to look and feel better! Looking rested and put together can be hard when you're a busy mama, but it's not totally impossible.

You asked:

How can I make casual clothes look nice?

First and foremost, make sure your clothes fit well. Even jeans and a t-shirt can look pulled together as long as they fit your body properly (not too loose, not too tight). Of course, clean and unwrinkled clothes look better than items pulled off the bottom of a laundry basket. Find an accessory or two that you love to add some oomph to your outfit- a great necklace, pretty earrings, a beautiful scarf- and you'll feel much more glamorous than you would otherwise.

How can I wear makeup that makes me look pretty but doesnt feel gunky?

Try mineral makeup. MAC makes a mineral makeup powder that I swear by for daily use (I rarely wear foundation). There are lots of other companies that make mineral powder, blush, eyeshadow, etc. Try Googling "mineral makeup." or check out Etsy.com to find independent makeup purveyors. You Tube has tons of videos that can teach you how to apply makeup if you need tips in that department.

No matter what kind of makeup you decide to use, be sure to moisturize your face well before applying it. Unmoisturized skin tends to cause makeup to settle in pores and lines and leads to the gunky feeling you wish to avoid.

How else can I look better?

Exercise and eat well. Rest, and try to take some time for yourself as often as you can. Easier said than done, but it really does work. Sorry if that's not helpful... I have trouble doing these things regularly myself.

Also - suggestions for best hairstyles for fine hair are appreciated (any natural dye ideas?)

I have fine, straight hair, and I find that it looks best with blunt ends (as opposed to a shattered-type cut, which makes the ends look fragile and fly-away). I blow dry my hair and use a pomade to keep it smooth. Invest in a good haircut- a good cut is easier to style and looks better with less product (if it needs product at all). Try to establish a relationship with one stylist who can get to know you well- not just your hair, but your lifestyle, too. This is important because a stylist who knows you well will suggest styles/cuts you can manage and will feel comfortable wearing.

I don't have much experience with natural hair color other than the DIY henna kits. I don't know of any stylists where I live who work with all-natural hair color, so you might be on your own if you want chem-free color. Henna can cause hair breakage in some cases, so if you use it, be sure to follow the package instructions carefully.

Best of luck! Let me know if you have any questions!

[youngspiritmom]

Thank you SO much for these excellent tips, Scarlettolive! I really appreciate you taking the time to help me and give me such great suggestions. I feel better already, believe it or not! I am going to find a nice accessory that fits my personality to help me feel a little more dressed up in my casual clothes, and I am also going to try the MAC mineral makeup. Exercise and rest were already on my list (on every mom's list!), so hopefully I can keep trying to get some of those every day.

Thanks again for your kind and generous post! I'm excited to try your ideas

[Koalamom]

subbing!

And off to look for some great accessories...

I agree about the hair cut.  I usually have long plain hair and I got it cut a few months ago to a litle past my shoulders and a.. GULP.. side bang.  Oh it looks hot and I am glad I took the leap.

[ChristyMarie]

You've gotten some great advice.  As an alternative to the super $$$ MAC, Physicians Formula make up at the drug store works well.  Light, not heavy and they do have mineral options.  I think if a mineral powder isn't enough a tinted moisturizer might work for you. 

I find powder, bronzer, mascara and lip gloss go a LONG way during the day. 

[IndigoKoi]

 On a daily basis I pretty much go around in yoga pants/sweats or my scrubs for school. Hair in a pony tail. I am not opposed to wearing makeup (as long as it doesn't feel like a cakey mask) I just usually don't have the time or really feel like putting it on everyday. However, like you I have been feeling the need to look a little more "put together". My solution? Still wearing comfy clothes but choose colors and cuts that are modern. Some catalogues I like to look at for examples (and then hopefully try to find cheaper alternatives) are Victoria's secret and Athleta. Leggings and a tunic shirt/sweater are super comfy but if you choose the right cut and colors can look casual chic.

As for makeup, my "everyday" solution (that I don't necessarily wear everyday) is to put on some tinted moisturizer, some concealer under my eyes curl my lashes (I have long dark lashes, but their stick straight) and put some cheek stain on and some lip balm. Possibly tinted lip balm if I'm feeling snazzy. I tried the whole mineral makeup thing bc it's supposed to be quick and easy to apply, but I felt like I just never liked the way it was on my skin. It made me look dry at first even with a moisturizer underneath, and then oily after a few hours of wear, and I could never get a good match to my skin.

I don't know if you like more natural ingredient type of makeup, but if so, some good brands to check out which I have recently checked out myself are rms beauty (she does all cream style makeup in little pots, all natural/organic), Living Nature (can be found on saffronrouge.com or naturesbasin.com), and Couleuer Caramel eyeshadows (can be found in the US at natureofbeauty.com). I'm currently using the tinted moisturizer from Living nature along with their concealer and I really like the effect. It's like my skin/face but better. I add a little bit of CC eyeshadow in rosy beige to the inner corner of my eye to brighten my eyes and that's about it.

[Ola_]

I agree with mineral makeup - I have the Bare Minerals brand but have also been checking out the independent shops out there online.  It doesn't feel cakey and it's actually supposed to be good for your skin.  And well-fitting clothes are definitely the trick no matter what you wear.  I find when I'm going for comfort it's easy to always wear loose, baggy clothes which don't make me feel good.  Small details like a pair of jeans that doesn't bag out at the butt or a t-shirt that curves in at the waist a bit instead of DH's old tee makes a big difference.  I find wearing vibrant colours near my face helps too - I keep bottoms in boring colours (grey, black, or denim) and add tops in bright colours.

For hair having a good stylist is definitely the key.  I also have very fine hair and don't do much other than wash and comb my hair (I may put a little volumizing lotion in after washing if I'm feeling ambitious).  I found a stylist that can make my hair look really good and I've been going to see her religiously for a couple of years now.  Either she suggests a cut or I bring in an "inspiration" picture - often a celebrity or something but I make sure to look for ones with the same hair type.  Worst case scenario - I figure it's only hair, it will grow back.

[IndigoKoi]

I know I had posted about rms beauty products, and I just wanted to share this video clip with you. It's a woman doing a 5 minute face using the products. I love that they are quick an easy to apply, just using your fingers, no other tools necessary.http://www.londonmakeupgirl.com/2010/03/5-minute-face-video-with-rms-beauty.html

[Chamomile Girl]

I can't speak to the makeup issue because I refuse to wear it but I think henna may work well for your hair. If you decide to use it, research it first because it does not apply like "normal" haircolor, and you cannot dye over it using conventional means. Get a decent henna (ie. not Light Mountain or the other stuff they sell at most HF stores). Logona makes a nice henna, or buy it through hennaforhair.com.

I hennaed for 15 years and never regretted it (finally had to stop when DS was a babe because I had no time to apply the stuff!). Henna will coat the hairshaft and make thin hair look/feel more full and be less likely to have flyaways. You cannot go lighter with henna but it works great for reds/auburns and brown/blacks.

[Koalamom]

I love this thread!  I went out yesterday and invested in a pair or really fitted yoga pants and the extra material aroundthe waist- makes a butt look smaller.  So I feel better at home as I am alright when I go out but at home I want to feel a little more pt together.

[dairy2dogs]

I also vote for Henna for natural hair coloring.  I get it from hennaforhair.com.  My hair has never been healthier and I have shine now!  I'm in love with my hair since switching to henna.

I didn't care for mineral make-up...tried several brands.  I prefer tinted moisturizer and really love the one by pixi which I got at target called illuminating tint.  It was more than I have ever spent on make-up but it has lasted forever so turned out to be worth it.  I use reviva mascara and a little tinted lip balm and am good to go. 

Ditto to good fitting clothes.  I still have some old t-shirts from when I was heavier and look like a shlump in them but good in one that fits.  A cute necklace makes a big difference. 

[Amy0417]

I absolutely love henna!  If you get the right henna (pure henna) you can dye over it if you don't like the color.  I get more compliments on my hair now than I ever have in my life.  My hair feels thick and silky.  Also, the no-poo method has made me feel awesome.  It did take a good 3 months to get over the cycles of transitioning but now my hair looks awesome.  I don't have fine hair but DD does and the no poo method has made her hair look thick and less stringy.  I actually think her hair looks dirtier when washed.  The bs/asv rise does not work for me BTW.  We do a combo of conditioner/bs mix once a week and water or water/lavender rinses the rest of the week!

As for make-up, I'm staying away from it as much as possible BUT I do wear it on Sundays when I work.  I like to avoid foundation/counselor but then I look blotchy.  What is finally working for me is patting rose water on my face as a toner and then applying coconut oil.  For the first time in my life I love the way my skin looks w/o make-up.  I finally have a natural glow!

As for clothes, I wear a lot of yoga pants & jeggings (hehe).  I can't stand the feeling of jeans.  I just make sure my yoga pants don't look faded (hang dry) and I have cute tops to match.  Like a pp said, if your clothes fit you always look put together.  One last thing... shoes!  I always feel better when I like my shoes.  I live in Chicago where it's snowing right now so I have a pair of cute boots and a pair of slipper shoes.  They are both really comfy but I keep them looking nice because I always wear them.

[Scarlettolive]

Glad I could help you feel hopeful about your appearance, youngspiritmom! There are lots of great suggestions after my post too. Don't be afraid to play around and experiment- you'll find something that works for you!

 

Originally Posted by youngspiritmom 

Thank you SO much for these excellent tips, Scarlettolive! I really appreciate you taking the time to help me and give me such great suggestions. I feel better already, believe it or not! I am going to find a nice accessory that fits my personality to help me feel a little more dressed up in my casual clothes, and I am also going to try the MAC mineral makeup. Exercise and rest were already on my list (on every mom's list!), so hopefully I can keep trying to get some of those every day.

Thanks again for your kind and generous post! I'm excited to try your ideas

[youngspiritmom]

OK so I tried the mineral makeup today, and personally I did not find that it made much of a difference. It was fun to try though. I think I'm more of a tinted moisturizer kind of gal -- it is so dry here that I think any non-moisturizing face makeup just doesn't feel right. However, making that purchase inspired me to dress cuter, do my hair in a new style I don't usually wear, and now I'm excited to try more of the ideas on this thread. Hooray! :)

[Scarlettolive]

I think it's great you've discovered what works for you in that department. Mineral powder is really sheer, so on its own it's not right for everyone. I had some tinted moisturizer that I wore beneath powder when I had to get "dressed up" for something, and I liked how the moisturizer evened out my complexion. I ran out of it and never replaced it. This thread has inspired me to go buy another tube tomorrow (after I dig my car out of the snow!)

You have a really positive attitude about changing your look, which I think is inspiring and refreshing- much needed this time of year!

 

Originally Posted by youngspiritmom 

OK so I tried the mineral makeup today, and personally I did not find that it made much of a difference. It was fun to try though. I think I'm more of a tinted moisturizer kind of gal -- it is so dry here that I think any non-moisturizing face makeup just doesn't feel right. However, making that purchase inspired me to dress cuter, do my hair in a new style I don't usually wear, and now I'm excited to try more of the ideas on this thread. Hooray! :)

[Owen'nZoe]

I always feel much more polished after having my eyebrows shaped up. It makes a huge difference, even without makeup!

[Kim Allen]

I only wear eye liner and I hate the way I look with makeup its makes me feel fake and then I worry about if I applied it right lol. I like the way it looks on other people but its just not me. I feel much better getting my eyebrows waxed. I feel like it really does alot of my face and makes me look more put together. I love the natural look and honestly Hubby never says anything when I do try to wear makeup so I just dont bother. I like having my hair fixed as well and I feel the best with my hair dried and straightend. I dont know why but I do. I have natural wavy hair so I hate letting it air dry.

[Snowflake777]

Do you have pale eyelashes/eyebrows?

This isn't exactly natural, but you could try tinting (ie dying) them. I do this about once a month and it saves me the hassle of applying mascara, plus I never have to worry about clumps or smudging. You can go to a salon or just do it yourself. I do it myself and the whole process takes maybe 30 minutes for both brows & lashes.

I also recommend investing in an eyelash curler. They make a big difference!

I also hate cakey make up. I just use concealer to cover blemishes and redness, and skip the foundation completely.

[youngspiritmom]

Originally Posted by Snowflake777 

Do you have pale eyelashes/eyebrows?

This isn't exactly natural, but you could try tinting (ie dying) them. I do this about once a month and it saves me the hassle of applying mascara, plus I never have to worry about clumps or smudging. You can go to a salon or just do it yourself. I do it myself and the whole process takes maybe 30 minutes for both brows & lashes.

I also recommend investing in an eyelash curler. They make a big difference!

I also hate cakey make up. I just use concealer to cover blemishes and redness, and skip the foundation completely.

How do you dye your eyelashes at home??

[umsami]

I use either mineral make-up or a drop of foundation mixed in with moisturizer (basically my own tinted moisturizer).  Makes a big difference.

Instead of lipstick, I buy the Burts Bees Shimmers...basically tinted lip gloss.

On occasion, I'll use mascara and a bit of gold eye shadow.... but that's more of a special occasion.  LOL

Definitely clothes can make a difference... even if it's a new pair of jeans or nice new T.  As I wear scarves (hijab), it's amazing how much a new scarf can brighten my outlook... or even going for a "real" scarf vs. a cotton tube-no pin scarves.