Just curious...after having realized that the amount of quality time I spend with my near 11y/o dd is negligible I feel like I need to revisit my schedule and carve out some time for her. Some of my challenges are that:
a) I also have a 9 y/o dd who wants my attention and enjoys doing everything we do so she often ends up being with us (not ideal in my 11y/o eyes)
b) I don't drive so even going to the mall/library etc. requires dh and dd2 to come along for the ride to get us to where we are going, this week the temperature dropped to the -30's celcius so walking isn't always an option.
c) Time, time, time. Often when I am not working my husband is - so again dd2 is with us.
d) She is reluctant to do physical things...she is not athletic, is a bit of a homebody and isn't easily motivated to get up and get moving, she likes to play with her dolls (I can't sit and play that way anymore!) I however like to be out and about, on the go.
e) Financial: we used to do Friday night date nights. Dh would take one dd and I would take the other and do something special with each, one on one, then the next week we would switch dd's. It ended up feeling like it was getting expensive because every week felt like it had to be some big event...going for dinner and a movie, going to the bowling alley etc. It would be nice to keep it low key.
f) All my time at home feels like work time: dishes, laundry, meal preparation, telling the kids what to do: clean their rooms, do their homework, etc. etc. This is why I think it feels like we don't have quality time together...what kid wants to spend quality time with their mom trying to get them to clean their room? When speaking about this with someone recently who asked what kinds of things we do together on our own that's all I could come up with...I help her clean her room, help her wash her hair in the shower etc. Fun. :(
Some ideas that I have had include:
- going for a walk
- would love to take a yoga class together but haven't found one suitable for her age, although could be pricey.
- swimming at the community pool
- visit the humane society to play with the cats
- weekly baking
- would love to find a volunteer position that we could do together
- going to the library
Right now if we were to do almost anything on that list my younger dd would be disappointed that she wasn't included because she loves all that stuff too.
I will ask her what she would be interested in doing of course, but am curious how other moms find quality time with their preteen girls. I would like to be able to have one thing that is just for us, that we both love and are committed to doing it once a week.
Looking forward to hearing what other moms do and how you carve out that time that is so important in these transition years.