collaborative divorce?

[A&A]

I'm just wondering if any of you mamas went through what's called a collaborative divorce, and whether or not you would recommend the process.  Thanks!

[rubelin]

ours has mostly been one, and, yes, I think it's the best way to handle things IF both parties can be grown-ups about things

[A&A]

thanks! 

[subtlycrunchy]

Does collaborative divorce mean the same thing as mediation (I'm in NJ and this is what mediation means here)? If so, than YES! So far this is not as half as bad as I thought... 

[indie]

I hired an attorney with experience with collaborative divorce because I really like the idea, but we have ended up using him more like a mediator though he is technically my attorney. If you guys can work together well enough to use a mediator then I'd go with that. It would be cheaper than collaborative. But if you each feel you need your own attorney then I think collaborative is the best way to go. Its much cheaper than battling it out. 

[fiona2359]

I am in the middle of what is shaping up to be an acramonious divorce. We had our last mediation (like colaborative) meeting on Friday and I am now out about 15k in lawyers fees. Friday alone cost me 2k. The thing is that I have a highly passive-aggressive spouse who will stop at nothing to drag this process out. I should have skipped mediation and just gone right to a court filing 5 months ago. My only advice is to beware of your own desire to be nice and do an honest assessment of your spouse's behavior in the marriage and if they are truely likely to be honest and cooperative. If not, save the wasted money. (I hired my lawyer specfically because she has one of the highest rates of settlement and mediation in this very large city. He hired one known for litigation - which should have been a sign to me.)

Sorry to be so negative - but thus far this whole thing is a great big cluter-butter.