I am having such a hard time getting my twin boys to go down for a nap without the help of my hubby or a family member. My husband needs to return to work soon and I will need to be able to stay home alone with the boys. They are 3 months old and both want to be held all the time. The last couple times I was home alone with them they cried hysterically when I put one of them down. I ended up calling my husband in tears begging hime to come home to help me. I can't handle it when they cry out just to be held. I am at a loss and don't know what to do. The nap situation is so hard because they don't like nursing together. They want 1x1 attention and I simply don't know how to manage...HELP!
I had the same problem when mine were that age. What I landed up happening was that I would lie on the couch with one on each shoulder and then kick the bottom of the couch to rock us all. I watched a lot of TV that way. There were a couple of times when I had to cross my hands over to keep the pacifyers in so they wouldn't cry, but it worked great. Once they were both aslepp, I would very slowly swing my legs around and then sit up - I learned very quickly how to move my bottom half without disturbing my top half Once I was standing with the two babies sleeping on me I would walk slowly to their bed and put one gently down on one side and then put the other down on the other side. Putting one down one handed took practice and I always put the one who slept through anything down first because sometimes he would land a little hard . But after I did it a few times, I got good at it and it worked. Then I stopped calling my husband in tears every day and I got some rest. There were some days where I landed up falling asleep while rocking them and those were the best naps. Good luck!!
Can you put them down together? I used to wrap each one then lay them together on their sides in their pram or basket (whichever was handier) then I'd cover both together with a large receiving blanket, tucking it in snug behind DS's back and DD's belly. This was how they slept and napped until they were big enough to go foot to foot in the crib.
DS used to flop his arm over DD when they slept.
My thoughts were, they crave comfort and warmth and who better (besides me of course : ) to snuggle up with then the one they spent 9 months in-utero with?
I'm not saying we never had bad nap/bedtime experiences complete with hysterical wailing (mostly on my part) and often times I'd be feeding one yr old ds or helping my older ds with homework while I bounced the pram to lull them to sleep. But for the most part they seemed to take comfort in each other.
You may have already tried it though, if not it's worth a shot! Best luck to you: )
I have struggled a lot with naps with my twins too. When they were small, I used bouncy seats and swings to help them fall asleep. I would just rock or nurse them until sleepy, then put down to sleep in a bouncy seat or swing. Not my favorite thing to do as an attachment parent, but to me it was much better than listening to one or both cry. I also had one that took a pacifier and this helped her fall asleep faster while I worked with the other one that took a little more "work." I was worried about them becoming dependent on those things as sleep aids, but they have already outgrown them all (they are now 8 months).
What position are you trying to use to nurse them together? Perhaps they just don't like that position for falling asleep? Mine wouldn't fall asleep in the double football hold, but would in another (I don't know what it's called but their heads are on the same side and one's head is kind of lying on the other's lap). Having a good double nursing pillow was essential for us all to be comfy too.
Good luck to you. The first few months are brutal, but I promise it gets easier. Hang in there!
What I needed was the fisherprice papasan swings. I waited till they were four months old to get them, also because I thought it wasn't very AP, but I should have done it way sooner! Get them off craigslist or used somehow, cus they're way expensive new.
I would also swaddle and paci them up, then lie them next to each other on their backs, then scoop them up in my arms so they're both against my shoulders/chest. Then SSHHHHing and walking/swaying would eventually get them to sleep. Or at least one of them. Then I'd either sit on the couch, lie back on the bed or something. I might be able to gently lie one down next to me, then either tend to the other one, or if I was really lucky, lie him down too, on my other side.
Oh, if they're small enough, you can wrap them together in a moby or other wrap. I liked wrapping them together in the kangaroo hold. Each was face down on my chest, I could stick a soothie in and it would be held in place, then rock to sleep.
It takes a lot of experimenting and it is so hard. But once they come out of the fourth trimester it gets easier!
And don't be shy about asking for help!
I either nursed mine to sleep at the same time on the EZ to nurse twin pillow, or wore mine to sleep (which proved to be great for my legs and back! ). Can you wear one on your back and nurse one in front while walking? Hardly relaxing for you, but I do remember doing that and often times I'd put the sleeping nurser down and the one on my back ended up falling asleep from the walk.
I did have a swing in our room for a short time, and that occasionally worked to keep one happy while I was getting the other one down, but only rarely. When they got a bit bigger, I nursed them both, one on either side while laying down. That made things MUCH easier.
When my twins were 3 months old (they're now 13 months, and sometimes it is still a struggle with nap time), I nursed one baby first, and put DS in the swing, and turned on the tv. I didn't "swing" the swing, he liked to sit there. Then, I would nurse DD and put her in the bouncy chair, put on the seatbelt, turn up the tv to a reasonable volume, and walk away. In 5 minutes, both were usually sleeping.
When they got a bit older, it became more tricky because DD could climb out of the bouncy chair, even with the seatbelt on. So, I usually ended up nursing her to sleep, and then moving her into the crib or co-slept with her.
And 13 months, I still try to put one baby in the swing, but they're more fussy with the tv shows they want to watch. Luckily, my DH put their fave tv shows on my blackberry (we don't have a dvd player in the babies shared-room.). I would prop up my blackberry on a box, and DS would sit in the swing and watch his fave show. DD would be nursed to sleep. On some days, if after 20 minutes and no one is sleeping, I would place DD in the swing, using the same blackberry "trick", and rock DS to sleep.
The only part that I dislike is that sometimes it takes 1 to 1.5 hours to get them to nap, and then they are up after 30 minutes!