What would you do? long

[livinlovinlaughin]

     My DS has started to want every food  he sees. He points and asks "eat this"?  This is not so much of a problem at home. We do mostly organic especially the "dirtiest" produce, dairy and meat. We avoid GMOs and refined white sugar. I make almosteverything from scratch to control the ingredients.  DH and I do still eat some things that I do not want him to have (mostly for budget reasons). But I almost always have a healthier version on hand for DS. I hope to get better about our buget and afford the good stuff for all of us!

     When we are out (like at family's homes) I'm not sure what to say to him. Any ideas?  I have been saying "that is not yours" or "that is so and so's". I do not want to offend or sound stuck up and most of  all I do not want my child to feel left out, isolated or different. KWIM? I bring his food with us whenever we go out. My theory is I want to build a great foundation and avoid as much yucky stuff as I can for the first 3-5 years. Reason being, the first 5 years are when most brain connections are made. He will have the rest of his life to choose to eat other things. I would like to avoid the yuckies 100% for at least the first 3 years and up to 5 years. My huge internal stuggle is not wanting to make him feel like the weird kid but I am sick at the thought of giving him things I know are bad. Any advice here?

For example..we are going to a cousin's bday party next week. They will be having pizza and cake. I will make his pizza from scratch as we always do, crust and all. So he will have the same as everyone else. I feel like it is a bit offensive to bring better pizza for myself and DH also so we will most likely eat what they have or I at least will bring some hommade for myself. The family knows I always try to eat well. I am also planning on making organic, cow's milk free cupcakes. I figured I would just bring a batch to share. Maybe I should do the same with the pizza? I just feel like that would make it seem like they are not providing good enough food for the party. I would rather it be a nice gesture not highjacking the party.

I know most people would say, it is just one party. It won't kill us. I know. It just makes me sick to think about (see my above theory and internal struggle). I do plan on accepting that as he gets older. It is just hard when there are birthdays or celebrations every week. I guess at that point I can do more explaining to DS, like,...you have had enough of that this week, how about these choices instead. Am I crazy? Is there anyone out there that feels similar to  me? Tell me I am not alone.

If you read this far, thanks for listening

[ghannit]

You are definitely not alone in this.

I actually agree with you, and your reasoning (almost word for word what I explain to folks who question me), and yet I can understand why some would consider it overkill and obsessive.

I think what most people worry about is that it will alienate the child from his/her peers, and that you (me) as a mother will be unable to let go when the child is older- thus creating food struggles and issues. 

I say that I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. I consider and plan for those years. As for now, I can still give the best quality I can and that I feel good about, and I can do so relatively easily. I will not feel bad about wanting my child to have the best nutrition possible in her first years.

It does get difficult when relatives/friends want to feed her... sigh. I've come to just let it go when someone gives her chemical laden junk. I bring it up later, I talk about it calmly, I try to bring my own snacks for her... but I try not to shame people when their intent is good. I also never want to shame her for liking something "junky".

I've relaxed on food a bit out of necessity... but I'm not saying you should have to. :-)