Let me preface this by saying I had a successful HBAC 2 years ago, DS2 was born at 42+5, after my MW stripped my membranes at 42+3. I had a 50+ hour labor and pushed for 6 hours... I KNOW my body can do this!
While my HBAC was successful, it was a bit traumatic because it was still a very long and difficult labor, and VERY painful. The pain was too much to bear. This was one of the reasons I wanted to do a VBAC in the hospital this time, that, and my new insurance does not cover hb. A good friend of mine had 2 successful VBACs at the same hospital I am planning on going to, with the same doc practice! They even used Pit with her, which I was told today they won't do with me "since I am a VBAC". Not that I want Pit, but I certainly don't want to be cut open again!! Can't even sweep my membranes because I'm still barely dialated, plus I am GBS+.
I left in tears. One week to go into labor. My stupid body just won't go into labor on it's own, EVER!!!! I am SO upset at myself right now, why can't I have a normal body and go into labor and give birth at 39 weeks? I just want to cry.
What are my options? Should I just refuse the c/s and not show up? And then just show up when labor starts? What will happen if I do that?
If you have read this far, thanks!