Help with my 5yr ds

[starbuckmom]

My 5 yr old likes to keep bugging me about things even when I say no.  For example:  He gets to play on the computer after his brothers go down for a nap.  He will keep bugging/asking me even tho he knows the rules.  We have had this rule in place for almost 2yrs.

He does this for so many other things.  He gets to play all day with lots of stuff but constantly asks if he can watch tv, play a game on my phone, watch a video from the library.  We have set rules when he can do those things and he knows but he is constantly on me about doing those things.

There are times when it isn't an option and I do say no and he knows my no means no but he keeps asking.

What kind of discipline should I have for that?  I have taken those things away but he still asks.

I am tired of him being in my face always asking.

[Boot]

Is this just for TV/ games/ computer or for other stuff too? With my DS (almost 4) I find that we really can't have limited screen time. He just nags for it all the time, even (especially?) when there is a special time when he knows he gets it. Sometimes we go through phases where I think it's worth the hassle afterwards to let him have some screen time, like when I'm sick or been up with baby all night. But when things get back on track I try to eliminate it completely. I'd rather let him have a small amount so it's not forbidden fruit but it doesn't seem to work out. He still asks, but not nearly as much. Sorry if this isn't helpful but for my son it seems to be the only way. His behaviour is generally a lot better with no screen time too. 

[starbuckmom]

Yeah, its for tv/computer/game on my phone.  There are days I would love to go tv/computer free. I think I just need to bite the bullet and do it.  I think things would be better all around if I did that.  I probably won't eliminate the computer completely because we are homeschooling so we will need it for that.

[Callimom]

I think this is partly an age and stage thing - and maybe a boredom thing.

For the repetitive asking I make sure that I have my kids attention via eye contact before I answer so I know they are hearing me. I answer once, with a reason/explanation and any future requests are either met with the raised eyebrow (ie you didn't just ask me again did you?) or the response "I've answered that question already".   If it persists I usually say something along the line about feeling frustrated that they are not hearing me and respecting our agreement/family rules etc.  Honestly they out grow it and it doesn't come up much any more.

When he asks are you able to suggest alternates (ie a game to play together, help baking, some reading and snuggle time?)

Karen

[starbuckmom]

Good thoughts, Karen!  I am going to try some of those techniques with my ds.  I do have eye contact with him when we discuss it.

As for coming up with alternative activities, I do sometimes.  I need to be better about that.  Maybe I could make a jar of ideas and have him pull something out of there he can do when he does get bored. 

[D_McG]

I do the same as this and then if it doesn't work then the consequence is he loses the privilege for the following day.  So "I've already answered that.  You know the answer.  If you ask again then we won't have TV time until Saturday.  If I have to follow through with that then you WON'T complain, right?  Because you know you're choosing no TV by asking again".  
 

Originally Posted by Karenwith4 

For the repetitive asking I make sure that I have my kids attention via eye contact before I answer so I know they are hearing me. I answer once, with a reason/explanation and any future requests are either met with the raised eyebrow (ie you didn't just ask me again did you?) or the response "I've answered that question already".   

[mom2grrls]

At our house we have video game time that they can use whenever they choose.  On school days they have 30 minutes and if they use it in the first 30 minutes they're home then that's it.  Giving them the choice of when to use it though cuts down on the "is it time yet?".

[pianojazzgirl]

Life around here got infinitely better when we went screen-free!  Before that I could have written your OP (but x2 with my 2 kids!).  It was soo soo soooo worth biting the bullet and pulling the plug.  The first few days were awful - worse than ever, but then - magic - kids who never asked for it, could suddenly occupy themselves for hours playing imaginative games, and who behaved better throughout the day (and not just in relation to asking/whining for tv or computer time).  I strongly urge you to give it a try!

[starbuckmom]

Originally Posted by pianojazzgirl 

Life around here got infinitely better when we went screen-free!  Before that I could have written your OP (but x2 with my 2 kids!).  It was soo soo soooo worth biting the bullet and pulling the plug.  The first few days were awful - worse than ever, but then - magic - kids who never asked for it, could suddenly occupy themselves for hours playing imaginative games, and who behaved better throughout the day (and not just in relation to asking/whining for tv or computer time).  I strongly urge you to give it a try!

Maybe we can choose 3 days in the week to go screen free unless he needs the computer for school.

Since my first post, there hasn't been any discipline, but, I have said to him if he bugs me again, I am taking 5 mins off the amount of time he gets on the computer and the tv.  He understands what I am saying and he backs off.  I think I have only taken off 5 mins so far.  I still have to ask him to remind me what the rules are about the tv and computer and then he backs off.

As for playing a game on my iPhone, I made the decision that he can play it only when we are waiting someplace ie: restaurant, drs office, etc.  He was a bit upset but understands and he also knows that I make the decision when he gets to play it when we are at those places instead of him coming to me begging to play it.

Since Monday, I have noticed he has backed off a lot with the constantly in my face asking.  I am happy with that!