Bel: C'mon eggie! C'mon eggie wrangling! I hope the clomid get it all moving along this month. And thanks for the cheerleading on overcoming negativity. It makes me feel better to know that this is something someone else has to put effort into. And yes to the super-defensiveness. The way my husband explains it to me is that he doesn't expect me to already know how to do everything perfectly. Some things I know better than him, some he knows better than me. What I do or don't know has nothing to do with how much he loves me. The only thing that could give him more respect for me is if I wanted to improve myself more, and the best way to show that is by considering advice that I'm given to see if it will help me, not by taking it personally. And I think it's something to be proud of that we're working on improving this - that's the whole point, right? So sometimes I fall down, and then I need his help, but sometimes I do really well. I've gotten in the habit of pointing out when something started to make me defensive and then I turned it around and kept it from being a problem . . . not because he needs to hear it, but to make it more obvious to myself when I'm doing a good job. And I wish you didn't feel you needed to straighten your hair! I always have loved the way that curly, even frizzy hair looks when it's left to its own devices. I understand that not everyone feels that way, so I understand that you want to, but personally I love "natural" hairstyles - ie cut and wash, even for curly (and very curly) hair. As to your laugh, if it's loud and heartfelt, I bet I would think it was beautiful . . . try not to let it annoy you, it's hard to change the way you laugh . . . or sneeze - I always thought those people with wee tiny little sneezes were "holding it in" in some magical fashion (when I sneeze it's like a stick of dynamite going off). It turns out that people can't help the way they sneeze, regardless of their technique - so those tiny sneezers (and little laughers, I think) can't help it . . . they're not holding it in, just sneezing the only way they can. On an unrelated note . . . 
 And I don't really know about the chlorination thing, just a guess, but it sounds like you're careful to do everything right, so it seems like the problem might not be you. No plans for the superbowl (the superbowl is this weekend?) 
 I'm pretty oblivious about such things . . . and it's not because we don't care about football so much up here, although that's also true. It's because I'm oblivious. I don't usually know when the hockey playoffs are, either, and I think that might be a hanging offence in Canada.
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leilamom: You've been added! Welcome! It sounds like you've had quite the journey to get here so far. I hope you're just a step or two from the desired outcome! It must feel so good to finally be able to DO something more about it, now that you've found a doctor to help you out. Best of luck, I hope you get your BFP this very month. Do you want me to put you down as trying since 2001? Or would you prefer to leave it blank, or call this your first month of trying? Do you have a chart you would like me to link to?
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catheleni: Sorry if I was a bit of a downer about your hopeful symptoms. I was so sure I was pregnant last month, but I wasn't, and the disappointment is a killer for me. I would rather "expect the worst and hope for the best". My sister also told me (my first month TTC when I was SURE I was having symptoms) that pg symptoms can be totally impossible to tell apart from pre-AF symptoms. I don't know, but slight hopes are easier for me than huge hopes that get dashed.
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Birdie: Blah to migraines! I'm sorry about that. My husband gets migraines pretty badly.  (I think they're migraines, he's light sensitive during them (bigtime) they last up to three days, no painkiller we have can touch them, and they incapacitate him completely. He can't even play video games, so I know it must be bad.) I used to be one of those obnoxious people who thought a migraine was just another headache until I saw him go through a few of them. I've actually had a minor migraine twice, but thankfully only twice. And I get the weird visual effects beforehand to warn me that it's coming and I'd better get home and lie down. Kudos on starting an elimination diet - I ordered a book from the library that explains how to do it, so I'm going to do it too. Partly because I'm hoping it will help keep my DH from getting migraines, and partly because I've had a tiny little rash on my wrist for a few weeks now. It's really small, but itchy, and I have an inkling it might be related to a food intolerance triggered by my antibiotics I took for my UTI. I'm not going to find it easy either, I LOVE wheat and dairy - in fact they're nearly all I eat - but I would like to see if there's anything going on there. Especially since I strongly suspect I'm intolerant of onions already, so I want to see if there's anything else I should avoid. Don't worry about not replying to me right away, that wouldn't have offended me even if you didn't have a migraine! I wouldn't take it personally. The OPKs I got are the kind with lines - pink lines, not blue. They're by the same company that makes FRER preg tests . . . So far it's pretty darned clear that I haven't O'd. The test lines are super-faint. I'm hoping I'll have blazing obvious lines when the time comes. We'll see, I guess! I am so glad you had a nice short pre-O phase! I agree with the 
 for your ovaries!
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LivingSky: Ya, it might not be too practical. And I'm not sure how they feel about treating patients from outside the health region for something like birth? I have to admit, though, I hadn't considered going and staying there . . . if my SIL still lived there I could make it work somehow, maybe if MIL came and looked after the farm, but I think they expense of a hotel would push it over into the "not gonna happen" category. Thanks for the suggestions. Maybe, if I can convince my husband to have a second one, I can have a second one at home. That would be nice.
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Ramzubo: You have been added. Welcome! I hope this is the year for you. I like your picture of your dog. Every time I see a great dane I'm amazed at how vertically they're built. My dog is a great pyrhenees/border collies cross, and she's built a little more like a footstool. A large-ish footstool. She's kind of square and shaggy. So by comparison great danes always look like high-rises, even just their heads!
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cristini: You've been added. Welcome!  I asked if you wanted your age or your chart on the front page, but before I finished this post, you had updated with them. I will add them as soon as I can! I find my temperatures fluctuate a lot before O, and less (although they still do) after O. And my O day has varied from CD14 to CD17. My luteal phase length has also varied, though, from 10 to 13. I kind of wish I'd been charting for years, it's really interesting! And you still have a couple more months to work on getting that 2011 baby. And I wish I knew how to stop obsessing over "symptoms". I do it every month, and it's wearing on me. I always think I'm over it (before I O), that this month I will be calm and simply wait to find out . . . and then I O, and then I start checking my chart multiple times daily (as if it might magically tell me something I don't know?) and I can feel the egg move down my fallopian tube, which MUST mean I'm pregnant, and I start noticing the amount of saliva in my mouth (is that more than normal? I can't tell!!) and it's overall really ridiculous, and I want to stop. But I can't seem to. Right now I think I won't do it this month, but I would bet money against myself on this one. Sorry, I wish I had some fantastic advice instead of just commiseration! I did have some cramping the month I was pregnant (I had a very early loss), but I have since had somewhat similar cramping even in my not-pregnant months. But I do get cramps during AF. The cramps that I got were sharp pinching sensations in my uterus, and they were the very worst at 13DPO, when I was doing very heavy physical labor (moving straw bales). I had to stop working, they were that sharp . . . and then I got very tired. But I had had a bit of cramping around and since implantation that month, too. So I'm hopeful for you . . . I'm allowed to obsess about other people's symptoms, right? Just not my own.
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Shellhawk: I knew you'd want to hear about my baby dream. I dreamt that some guy I didn't know saw me looking at his baby and asked if I wanted to hold it. I did, and she was very cute and pudgy and baby-ish. I was bouncing her a little and singing "deh-deh-deh-deh" to her and then she said "Dada!", and someone beside me was very impressed that she said dada at such a young age (she was maybe 4 or 5 months). I took her back to her dad kind of cradled in my shirt using it like a sling, but there were also a lot of lentils and beans in bags in my shirt . . . for some unknown reason. When he took her back, he told me that he had found her 8 miles up some country road, near a hiking trail, abandoned and crying her head off. She might have brain damage, but he didn't mind and loved her and would raise her up himself. So that's my weird baby dream for the week, I imagine. It might have something to do with the fact that I read a lot about adoption yesterday (my husband really only wants one kid, but will consider two if we can figure out a way to adopt the second without it costing a bunch of money - he has a moral objection to spending money to pad the pockets of bureaucrats while trying to save a baby in need). So I'm looking into it now, because I know it's a slow process, even compared to TTC!
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Val: I like the melted snow, it really tastes fantastic . . . but we do have to be careful where we pick it up from. We have a dog and goats and donkeys that wander around our yard (pooping liberally), a cat that kills mice, and also some bits of a deer that my dog has been gnawing on . . . so we have to make sure we only get snow from safe locations, like on top of our wood pile, or otherwise high up. But I think it's better for us to get a few spruce needles or maple leaves in our water than chlorine and other such things. Or nitrates, for that matter. And thanks for the agreement on the doula thing. I think my husband will be pretty good, but I also think he would prefer someone with more experience in this arena to be there. Your mentioning the cramping the night you O'd reminded me - you said it was a really painful O, right? And we decided that meant your girls were taking their job seriously? And then you got your BFP that month! So maybe, just maybe, there's something to that idea! I still want to put in one of these 
 every time I think of you getting your BFP. I hope that shows up, it's not showing up on my screen. And thanks for referring people to the BJC! My sister was super-sick her whole pregnancy and has a beautiful, healthy, brilliant girl. My best friend felt fine, just the slightest hint of nausea if she forgot to eat for way too long for a couple of weeks . . . and she has a beautiful, healthy, brilliant girl. So I wouldn't read too much into it! I honestly think it's just to help people with morning sickness feel better (but don't tell me that if I have morning sickness . . . tell me you're jealous because my baby is going to be so healthy and smart - yes, that's right, lie through your teeth!). And don't be embarrassed about taking another HPT - it's hard to be sure after so long trying, even if you know intellectually, it's hard to really feel like it's true.
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Boots: Sorry you're so busy right now, but thanks for dropping in anyway! I bungled my first pregnancy test somehow (and it wasn't digital). I got no line at all. It wasn't expired or anything. 
 So don't feel bad - it sounds like yours is a bit more complicated - mine was just an absorbent strip to pee on with a little window, and somehow I messed it up. I think your GP is a perfectly good place to start. I hope your appointment goes well. And I hope you find some pre-seed!
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Taxlady: Definitely to the "JUICE" on the butt of our team shorts. And I don't think you're too gushy at all, it makes me happy that you make how you feel about us so clear! Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. When I saw the picture of you with your short hair, I thought how nice you looked, and THEN I thought how double-extra nice you looked, considering that I know prednisone usually makes you puff up like a balloon. You looked not at all balloon-like, just really nice. So even though you feel all puffy and like everyone is looking at you and thinking that, it's not true. You look great! Now if only you could feel as great as you look, that would be ideal. It's really great that your friend called you to help you feel less alone in this! That was kind of her, and probably even more supportive than we are, just because you already know her! I am more than willing to wear a little crown whenever I perform my threadkeeping duties. Bring it on! And I don't imagine anyone would mind if you were the threadkeeper next month. Sorry about your awful traffic 
 (Hope nobody minds that smiley, that's how I really feel about bad traffic) and I hope that the new medication takes care of you and gets you back in tip-top shape fast! I appreciate you putting us first, but don't let it interfere with your studying too much, or we'll feel bad for taking time away from the other things in your life! And don't worry about the few smilies, you still used my favorite one! 
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AFM (as for myself for new people who might not know): My husband also knows to expect me to talk about you all. I forgot he didn't know your names when I told him ever-so-excitedly about Val's BFP . . . he is bad with names, so I could see him trying to figure out who Val is . . . so I told him, "you know, one of the other ladies on the mothering forum" and then he understood, although I'm pretty sure he still thought it was strange that I was telling him that she was pregnant. Ah well, I was excited! I've been using my OPK's, but so far still nothing. That's probably ok, my sleep schedule and my husband's sleep schedule appear to have gone all wiggedy-wack (or however one might spell that), and we have no overlap in when we're asleep. Which means we're not in bed at the same time . . . I'm willing to make a point of it, and so is he, but it's less likely than when we're just there sleeping anyway, ya know? I did yoga first thing when I woke up this morning (it's warm here again) and it made me feel SO GOOD. I should really make a point of doing that every day. It was great! And I put together a little routine that I really enjoy and that's supposed to be really good for my reproductive organs. And it's relaxing and feels nice. Sigh. I still feel good from it! It helps me remember to breathe deeply, and it feels like it's clearing out all the detritus from being so lazy in the winter. Yay!
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Everybody: A question for the week (as per Taxlady's wonderfulness). If you were an animal, what would you be? To get the ball rolling, I have been described by friends as being like a raven - watchful, intelligent, playful, opportunistic, and maybe a little ruthless (they didn't say that last one, but they are vegetarians and I raise meat animals (cute ones, like lambs) and eat them, so I think they might have thought it). Also, when I'm trying to find my husband in a big store, I caw like a raven. Or sometimes whistle like a white-throated sparrow, because it's less alarming to the other patrons. My 2.5 year old neice, who looks so much like me that my parents and sister both call her Julie pretty regularly, likes to say "p-kaw" to her grandpa. Maybe raven-ness runs in families? Anyway, my husband is like a lynx - quiet, strong, comtemplative, swift, matter-of-fact . . . and did I mention, quiet? Anybody else?
  I think I would need some preparation time for a baby!
 The Bajingo Juice Club is OFF THE HOOOK!  We totally need team t-shirts as many of you have described and shorty shorts with JUICE on the butt!  
 On Tuesday morning there was a water main break that left a huge crater at the end of our street.  Then on my way to work, after it took me 45 minutes to drive 3 blocks, a sand truck jackknifed and it took me a total of 2.25 hours to go 14 miles to work.  Then my doctor has ramped up getting me on this new medication.  I go for my first infusion on Saturday (cannot miss anymore work).  I'm still a little concerned about the side effects, but I have done tons of research and it sounds like the bad stuff (lymphoma and tumors) are due to many other things in conjunction with the medication.  Since, my new insurance covers it 100%, it's only a class B drug ( there is no evidence it causes birth defects),  and my new OB/GYN said she knows she has had at least one pregnant lady on it, I'm going to go for it.  
this is what you make me do.. 
I know it's incredibly hard to type, keep up with your brain and use your hands!!  Maybe for Valentine's Day your DH will get you a speak and typer.  You know a gadget that allows you talk and it types the words for you.  I can just see you at your computer making all sorts of hand gestures! 
 Thanks for the good vibes! My super positiveness is fading even faster...10th day after clomid is tomorrow. 
Trying to be patient.
 Yep that's how me and my sister sneeze...we're allergic to everything. Like my dogs...I have to wash my hands all the time, my cats made me worse.) No worries - I won't tell your fellow Canadians. (I know you're not alone!) I do love to watch football and hockey, but don't follow everything. Going to games is great, but I don't HAVE to sit and watch them all. Side note -
 Girl
.  I have to go with my gut (which incidentally has been on the fritz last week), would you already know if there were twins?  I do have a lot going on, now that you mention it, it's weird, I was completely out of it last week and now I'm just going with the flow.  I just do what's next on my list today. I can totally see myself testing the BFP just to see it over and over again, probably until I give birth!  So go for it girl!  It's like winning the lottery, who wouldn't roll around in 100 dollar bills??? 
