February Queer Conceptions 2011 - Page 7
Krista: I'm so sorry. Obviously you aren't absolutely out, but I know you know that the number doesn't look great. What can you do to take good care of yourself during the next few days? Can you do something distracting (movie, funny book, lots of sleep, etc.)? Or something nice for yourself (massage, good food, etc.)? If it is useful, you may want to check out the Pregnancy and Birth loss forum. If you post there, you'll get some kind responses. Is there anything I/we can do to help? I'm sorry you're having to go through this.
Isa: I hope you have a great non-POAS weekend. I think sometimes the time just before I start obsessing about timing can be really nice and low-key.
Seraf: How fun that you'll be an aunt! I'm with Osha--what do people who don't read much do? Hey, when you have a chance can you move me to waiting to know? Thanks.
Vegan: I think you and I might be cycle buddies!
Max: I'm sorry about your bfn, but it is still early. I hope you get more exciting news soon!
Starling: Great number! Congratulations!
Gelly: I'm sorry about the red tape. When I started with my RE, I went in at a random time for an initial consultation, then the next cycle I did day 3 bloodwork. I hope your insurance company gets it all figured out soon!
AmandaMom: I'm sorry. What a total disappointment. Isn't it amazing how hard this process can be sometimes? I'm sorry that you and your wife are not on the same page right now. I hope that you'll be able to find some more common ground soon.
AFM: I had enough of a temp rise that I think I ovulated. It's annoying to me that I usually don't have the kind of huge dramatic temp rise I would like, but I know that is just how my body works these days. I am determined next cycle (unless I am insanely lucky and there isn't a next cycle) to get in two IUIs, which means I have to insem before the positive opk, which means that as soon as I think I might need to insem I need to just do it and not second guess myself. Remind me of that, please. One funny thing is that I thought this cycle that we were trying for a November baby, but I just realized that the due date would actually be late October. So I've been having little talks with the babe and telling it that if it wants a late October/early November birthday, this is the time to be conceived! We'll see what it decides.
Krista, I'm so sorry. Hugs for you.
Isa, they're worried because because because. She's so young, they have only been married a short time, they want to go to college, they just bought a house, they generally have a lot on their plate. Parents want their kids to do things in the most efficent order. Throwing a baby in the mix will slow things down, ya know. He's unemployed and military, that doesn't help either, I'm sure. Baby, good news, bad timing.
So very sorry, Krista. What a huge disappointment.
oh no krista!!!! sending you lots of love and light and hugs. :(
starling that's an amazing beta #!! how many dpo was that taken? looks like a twin number if it was around 14dpo. :O
hugs again to the bfns. they are so hard to see.
afu - yesterday dp forgot to poas for the monitor (seriously ladies, she is so blase about this whole process) but today's at cd15 went to high. she has recently weaned ds2 - we made it to a year which was her goal - so we wonder if her fertility is readjusting again. she already has ewcm.
i know a couple of folks have mentioned recently that their dp's really aren't coming across as being supportive of the bfns etc... have you talked about it? you know it could be that they are as disappointed as you and are putting up barriers to protect themselves? ttc is a drain on both people, even the one not trying to get pregnant.
ALSO...I read that they are thinking about reopening next week...(but then closing when Joanne goes on vacation at the end of the month...but I guess they close at the same time every year when she leaves)
Max ... I am so sorry to hear about your bfn! I'll keep everything crossed for you.
Krista ... Oh, how I wish that you had happy news! I'm so sorry that your numbers are not comforting. It's not over yet! Many hugs to you, hon. Take good care of yourself.
Seraf ... I'm stuck on the trauma ambulance, unfortunately. To go into dispatch is different training, and there are private companies here who do the stable hospital transfers. I think I just need to adjust my attitude. Normally I love my job. Just reticent about it, what with the pregnancy. But I did it once before and other women do it all the time ... so I need to take off my pity panties and put on my big girl briefs and stop whining. And I'm with Osha ... what WOULD we do without books?
Vegan ... Good luck!
Cejae ... That's funny! I always think of 777 as a lucky gambling number, but I'll take the approval of Himself too!
Isa ... I think I've left it too late to get a different job. I had a lead about driving blood around from hospital to hospital, but I never followed it up. Now if I change jobs, I'd probably be 'laid off' when I started to show. Meh. Like I said to Seraf up there, I think I just need an attitude adjustment, and perhaps a couple of shifts without getting brains or barf or guts on my uniform pants.
Sorry I didn't get back sooner girls. Yesterday was a bit difficult. Krista, I know exactly what you are going through. I went to the doctor's office and my beta had dropped from 81 to 21 (yesterday). Apparently, I miscarried when I had my period or whatever it was. It was a normal period, but my gf reminded me last night that I got the heating pad out bc of my cramps (which I have never had to do before). They think the numbers started out really high, and the 81 was actually on its way down. So apparently the mystery is solved. I had a miscarriage (a very early one). My progesterone was very low when they tested me on Tuesday. It was a 1.97. I am wondering if that is what caused me to miscarry.
I know that there is nothing that I could have done to stop it, but I just can't understand why I didn't get any positive HPT's on days 13, 14, or 15. If I had I would have continued with my progesterone. The only other thing that strikes me as odd about this cycle is that my period came on pretty quickly (about 1 day) after I stopped the suppositories. I wonder if that's what made me miscarry? I will never know, but I want to do everything possible to keep it from happening again.
I think I have a luteal phase defect. On my only cycle without progesterone, I had a 10 day luteal phase, and my prog. was a 4. They didn't test me until day 10 so they said they weren't sure if the prog. was low bc I was about to start my period or if my period started bc my progesterone was low. The next cycle we started suppositories (which I DESPISE, but I will endure if it saves the baby) so they never tested my prog. levels again.
Do ya'll think I had a late implanter or something? What if they are all late implanters? Is there something else besides prog. I can do? Anyone ever gone through this?
By the way, My screen name is Team Usery (like Team Aniston or Team Jolie) :) because my gf's last name is Usery, but my real name is Erica.
I appreciate how kind and helpful you all are! I am glad that I found this group.
Does anyone know if I will have another period or will I just have one again in a few weeks? I am just wondering what to expect. I might not be completely finished miscarrying. I can't start trying again until after I go and get my levels checked again next Wednesday.
At least that means I can get pregnant right? I am trying to find the silver lining here, but it is really hard.
Tea: I've PMed you but I wanted to talk about some of the things we are going through in case others can learn from it.
10 days of LP is short and many would say that's a Luteal Phase Defect (LPD) although not all doctors believe in it. Progesterone supplements can be a little tricky. Technically, you are supposed to take them for 14 days after ovulation. Then, you test and if it's positive go get the blood test, if neg than stop taking them so your period can come on (which is what is sounded like happened to you). But it can be a crap shoot because if you're off on ovulation, then you might just be getting early negatives.
You can beat yourself up all which way to heaven about the progesterone, but you did what you were supposed to do. And your period came on pretty quickly. It sounds to me like your body knew it wasn't viable pretty quickly and started to expel it but not everything came together so quickly. And you were expecting a regular period, not to be going through a miscarraige. Sometimes, when the body miscarries, the HCG beta number will still climb a bit.
I know it's hard not to be discouraged. I am. But I've found kind words from people who have been through it. 50% of pregnancies can end in miscarriage. Having one miscarriage (especially if it was a chemical) does not mean you won't get pregnant again and more so, it doesn't even mean you will miscarry again. At least you and I are getting that 50% out of the way and then we get into another statistic which is only 1-2% of women have repeat chemicals.
Hang in there. Keep coming back to the board!
Team and Krista, hang in there. Two cycles before DP got pregnant she had an experience much like yours Team (period and then weird spotting and then a positive, but way too low, HCG test). I also had a chemical pregnancy at a certain point. You *can* get pregnant after an early miscarriage and Krista is right - it means very little about your ability to carry a pregnancy to term. Later miscarriages are more important in that regard, not these early ones. Of course, none of that makes it less painful.
You're both in good company. Between my partner and I I think we counted something like 24 cycles of inseminations, 2 early miscarriages, 1 child and 2 on the way. To say the least it was a *brutal* couple of years. So if you ever need to talk to someone who understand the emotional, financial, logistical roller coaster, feel free to PM me.
Hang in there.
Once your hcg reaches 0 (which should happen for you in the next few days), your body will either start gearing up for ovulation (in which case you might ovulate a couple of weeks later) or it may bleed again. It seems like nobody can predict which one will happen for an individual. Most doctors recommend that you wait until you've had a normal period to try again. I know my cycle changed quite a bit after my 7.5 week miscarriage, so that could also happen for you.
My guesses: I really doubt that low progesterone was what caused the pregnancy not to progress. Your hcg level at 20-something (22?) dpo was low enough that it sounds to me like the babe just wasn't growing properly and so your body knew not to maintain the pregnancy. My guess is that the baby wasn't developing well from the very beginning, which is why your hcg level was initially low enough that you got negative pregnancy tests. I don't necessarily think this is important for everyone, but for your own sanity after this experience you may want to consider getting blood pregnancy tests at 12 or 14 dpo in the future just so you don't feel like you have to keep testing endlessly. I don't think that your period starting a day or so after you stopped the progesterone is a sign that the progesterone caused anything to go wrong. I think for many people AF arrives shortly after they stop progesterone (and I know for me it can vary from month to month exactly how long that takes). It does sound like you may have a luteal phase defect, but the progesterone supplementation should help with that.
Like Krista said, all studies indicate that most people who have a miscarriage or even multiple miscarriages go on to have a healthy baby. There are some good books on this out there--let me know if you want some titles of ones I recommend.
I posted a long post earlier, but apparently it didn't take. I'll try and recreate:
Krista and TeamU/Erica (I like Erica better)~ Biggest of hugs from me. Krista, do let us know what the doc says, and do take your prometrium until then. Erica, you CAN get pregnant and will again, a real sticky bean for sure. Nothing will make you feel better right now, but we're all here for you.
Starling~ 777 is the luckiest beta number I've ever heard. Maybe the embie split and you've twins on the way? EXCITING!! Concerning about your job, though. I'd worry too with all that lifting and sick folks. Do be careful!
AMom~ I'm sorry you didn't get your result, but you're right to think that the sixth time's a charm. It was our sixth try that was successful, and I never cried harder than at my 5th bfn. Hang in there!!!
Seraf~ A hug from me to your awesome kid who knows the value of a good book!
Max~ Don't be down, it's still way too early!!!
Fingers crossed to those we have waiting, and apologies to those I've forgotten. You ladies are excellent xoxo
AFM~ More snow. I may never work again....
Thanks ya'll. Escher, I would like some of those titles if you wouldn't mind giving them to me. I need all the help I can get since I probably won't get it from the doctor.
My hcg levels were 81 at 22dpo, and then 21 at 24dpo. The nurses at the doctor's office said they were probably higher than 81 and that the 81 was on the downside after the miscarriage. I guess that's why I thought it might have been the progesterone. At some point, it got higher than an 81. Who knows? It is probably one of those weird "we'll never understand it even if we wrack our brains forever" things. At least I know that I am not alone. It is such a comfort to hear all of your words of encouragement. I guess everyone is right, it just wasn't viable for some reason.
A reason I won't ever know. I am glad to hear the positive words about being able to get pregnant again. I have this irrational fear though that this might happen every time. I know that it probably won't, but I guess it is just still fresh right now.
Well I have two choices. I can be traumatized and live without ever having a child or I can jump back on the horse (not literally...............my gf wouldn't like that) and try again. We are going to go with the latter choice. I'll see my baby one day in Heaven as will each one of you who have lost one too. Until then, they can all be playmates and know that their mommies love them very much.
Now it is time to try to have one that will make it here on Earth.
I wish you all good luck in your cycles. No one understands how difficult this is unless they've been through it, and it is even more difficult for us who have to go to great lengths because of "male factor" infertility. :) That's what my doctor called it. Oh and PCOS but that's a whole nother animal. :)
If I hear one more person say, "Just stop trying and it will happen." I might scream. Newsflash: WE CAN"T STOP TRYING.............................IF WE DO, It REALLY won't happen.
Lots of love ladies.