Mums of Many- It's February!

[tifpaul]

Hello Everyone!

Could someone please add links to the November, December and January threads? I can't figure it out and am trying to get to bed before 10!

Thanks,
Tiffany

Originally Posted by baltic_ballet 

Welcome











2010 Mums of Many Threads:



Mums of Many - October

http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1267168

Mums of Many - September

http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1258259

Mums of Many - August

http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1249149

Mums of Many - July

http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1239712

Mums of Many - June

http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1229724

Mums of Many - May

http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1220205

Mums of Many – April

http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1210515

Mums of Many – March

http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1200838

Mums of Many - February

http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1190429

Mom’s of Many – January

http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1177896

[~bookcase~]

Hey mamas

Soooo, when you got past 5/6 how did you decide whether or not to have more? I would love to have a really large family but my rational mind says 6 is plenty. Or maybe I'm just wondering about spacing rather than saying NO more ever. Or maybe I'm just mega freaked out about how 'lucky' we've been and am scared to go through some of the stuff friends have been through with loss

I had premature twins last time and I think this has thrown my optimism out the window, kwim?

[taralv]

Ok, coming out of lurkdom now and introducing myself. I'm Tara, and I just had our 4th in October. So, they are ages 9, 6, 3, and 3 months. I really don't think of 4 as being "many", but it has definitely changed the dynamic around here enough that I've gone searching for some help from other moms with more than 1 or 2. I've been reading through some of the past threads and I feel like I get so much inspiration from them. I think if pregnancy was not so difficult for me I would like to have 1 or 2 more, but who knows? I honestly have not found any form of BC that I am willing to use. I will probably continue with LAM/ecological breastfeeding and go from there. We also homeschool, which I really enjoy, but DH hopes they will go to school eventually... He is so pro-sports and wants them all playing sports in high school. I say let them play in local leagues... The debate continues. And, of course, my house is always a mess. So many people ask why I don't hire a housekeeper to help out, but every time I look into getting help this is what happens: we can only afford once a month cleaning, the effort that it would take to get the whole house picked-up/de-cluttered on that day and then get all of the kids either out of the house or out of the way just seems ridiculous. I just feel like I can get the bathrooms/floors once a month - even if the whole house is never all clean at the same time it will all get clean eventually. So, that's enough from me. Just wanted to say hi - now I will probably go back to mostly reading due to time constraints...

Tara

[~bookcase~]

just read recently that the average number of children in developing countries is 6.5!

2.5 in the West

[bbuggita]

Hello,

I am relatively new to this forum...  I have 5 wonderful wee ones!  I was recenctly told at our church that we have the largest family attending - So one of the members is a Dr and she told my grandmother that the church should take up a collection to have my tubes tied!~!  I was, and am, completely embarrassed and offended!  DH and I were thinking of having another (not too soon though) and now I am kinda at a loss.... My family is really against us having any more and they are constantly comparing our financials to people with less children.  Anyone else out there feel pressured NOT to have anymore by family and friends and community?  How do you respond?  Has it impacted your descisions on more babies?

Thanks,

Heidi

Mama to Tim(13), Ryann(8), Cullen(6), Tarquinn(4), and Tadhgann(5 mos)

PS - We are not on government assistance (not that there is anything wrong with it if you need it), and while my kids may not get every new toy or gadget, they never want for anything and get to go on vacations and take dance classes and lessons and such!

[elisheva]

Originally Posted by taralv 

. And, of course, my house is always a mess. So many people ask why I don't hire a housekeeper to help out, but every time I look into getting help this is what happens: we can only afford once a month cleaning, the effort that it would take to get the whole house picked-up/de-cluttered on that day and then get all of the kids either out of the house or out of the way just seems ridiculous. I just feel like I can get the bathrooms/floors once a month - even if the whole house is never all clean at the same time it will all get clean eventually. So, that's enough from me. Just wanted to say hi - now I will probably go back to mostly reading due to time constraints...

Tara

Yep. I get all kinds of pressure to hire a housecleaner but between the stress of getting ready and the $$, it's just not worth it. We DO have someone we hire to work in the yard (the person who lived here before us created a lovely but high maintenance yard and I'm still trying to figure out what to do with it...) twice a month. No prep!!! Ok, picking up dog poo, but we do that anyway so I can shoo the boys outside to play in the afternoon. 

[taralv]

Ok, help with yard work would be nice. But the dog poop is probably the most annoying part as it has to be picked up daily so nobody steps in it (we have a small yard). As for pressure from family and friends to NOT have any more - tons! My sister in particular gets angry when I talk about having anymore, mostly because she doesn't want me to have to go through the nausea and fatigue, etc... So I make a special effort never to complain to her when pregnant, and never to talk about BC, or whether or not we will have more. Our neighbors just call me crazy. It's a circus around here, but I'm happy, and as I said before, we only have 4 children. My grandmother had 13. That's a big family, LOL.

Tara

[sanguine_speed]

Originally Posted by taralv 

Ok, coming out of lurkdom now and introducing myself. I'm Tara, and I just had our 4th in October. So, they are ages 9, 6, 3, and 3 months. I really don't think of 4 as being "many", but it has definitely changed the dynamic around here enough that I've gone searching for some help from other moms with more than 1 or 2. So, that's enough from me. Just wanted to say hi - now I will probably go back to mostly reading due to time constraints...

Tara

Hi Tara,

I couldn't read and not reply as I have a very similar crew!

My kids are 9, barely 7, 3 1/2 and 9 months.  I know what you mean about the dynamic shift.  That's all for now :P.  

[Endofjune]

My sister came up to me a couple of months ago, telling me: "I had a nightmare! You told me you were pregnant of a fifth!" Only to continue: you know there's pharmaceutical stuff you can take to stop the urge to have more babies, right? 

I wonder if she was talking about BC... 

Anyway, I seriously wonder if my urge to have more babies will ever diminish. I am trying to align head-and-heart now. Not an easy task :-)

[~bookcase~]

Originally Posted by Endofjune 

My sister came up to me a couple of months ago, telling me: "I had a nightmare! You told me you were pregnant of a fifth!"

Did you tell her: 'you aint seen nothing yet'

[fruitfulmomma]

I was recenctly told at our church that we have the largest family attending - So one of the members is a Dr and she told my grandmother that the church should take up a collection to have my tubes tied!~!

Christian church? Check out this list of verses - http://www.valerieslivingbooks.info/heritage - maybe you should slip her a copy.

Anyone else out there feel pressured NOT to have anymore by family and friends and community?  How do you respond?  Has it impacted your descisions on more babies?

I think they all gave up after we told them we were pregnant with #5 a couple of years ago and what was sad was that the people who made the most comments all had as many or more children than we did. Our church is supportive, the pastor has as many as we do, and another family has twice as many. If anyone said anything right now about I'd probably have to bite my tongue to keep from going off on them, since our last baby, which we lost, was due a couple of weeks ago.

[Mommyofalmost6]

Sadly society thinks its thier buisness to determine how many children people should have. And 6+ is NOT on the popular end of the poll. We however have 6 littles and are thinking of adding more. I get comments like do I know how that happen, where they come from, how to prevent it ect. It always amazes me the things people think its not only socially acceptable but personally acceptable to say to someone with a large family. My idea is when you are cooking, cleaning my house and paying my bills then you can tell me how many to have. We are on no assistance also and like you while they may not get every electronic thing out there, nor do they really want them, they are able to do so much more.

*sigh* I truly dislike the way people think my family is any of their buisness. Our families negative comments the most!

[Mommyofalmost6]

I am sorry for loss mama *hugs*

Originally Posted by fruitfulmomma 

Christian church? Check out this list of verses - http://www.valerieslivingbooks.info/heritage - maybe you should slip her a copy.

I think they all gave up after we told them we were pregnant with #5 a couple of years ago and what was sad was that the people who made the most comments all had as many or more children than we did. Our church is supportive, the pastor has as many as we do, and another family has twice as many. If anyone said anything right now about I'd probably have to bite my tongue to keep from going off on them, since our last baby, which we lost, was due a couple of weeks ago.