Thanks for the comments everyone. I've had a lot going on with the kids (I have 3) and so I haven't had time to respond to this particular thread. I am still seeing this man. So far things are going well, but he is still a "talker" and it's different but the same in some ways. I did try to break up with him a week ago (on Friday 11th) and he got very, very upset, sent text messages about crying and going out driving around and how upset he was and didn't understand. Said he was being attacked in other areas as well and thought "I" would be the one person who would be there for him. :( I felt bad. We are going to see where it will go for now.
Sometimes people have to come to a realization in their own time, like that they are in an unhealthy relationship. So maybe part of it is that. You have expressed clearly to us here that all of your instincts and logic are telling you to "go" and yet you are overriding those and staying. You've hinted that you distrust him and yet you stay. You've got pages full of women who probably disagree on many subjects, all together saying that there are red flags, but you're willing to ignore them. For now.
You've said that you can't be alone and it's influencing this decision. Can you go to therapy to start dealing with this? The therapist could also help you learn assertiveness skills. Not to be aggressive or controlling, but to learn to stand up for yourself when your boundaries are crossed. Perhaps if you felt stronger inside/more emotionally fulfilled from within/whatever the issue is, it would give you the space to see the discrepancy between what you want to do and what you are doing.
Lastly, I just wanted to mention that he obviously sees in you your compassion, empathy, and even your need to be with someone, and it's easy for him to push those buttons to make you feel guilty and get what he wants. Consciously or not, he's doing that. It's manipulation. He knew that if he "got very, very upset, sent text messages about crying and going out driving around and how upset he was and didn't understand, etc...." then you would relent. He did what he had to do to get you back. If you kept standing firm, he'd take it to the next level. Maybe he'd start texting you how he was driving & crying & hopes he wouldn't crash into a tree. Or that he was crying and walking around and was going toward the bridge across town. Or he was holding a bottle of painkillers.
I just want to tell you, when you try to break up next time, he might keep upping the ante to see what it takes to gets you back. You are not responsible for him. He's his own person, he needs to take care of his own feelings. He can call the police or go to the hospital or cry on a friend's shoulder--what he does has no reflection on YOU. You cannot feel the responsibility of saving him from every real or perceived threat, hurt, or sadness. You do not need to save him, you have a bigger responsibility to yourself and your children. Maybe thinking of them will give you the strength for this.