Doula for birth !

[TeamSummer0811]

With my 1st child, i insisted on doing a natural birth but i had NO help and was scared of the pain so i chickened out and got an epidural. This time around, im insisting on not getting one at all. Has anyone ever had a doula or thinking about getting one ? Im looking for one in Maryland !

[CraftyEarthMama]

Ive been thinking about getting one myself. The support seems like it would help make the entire process easier. Go for it!

[MarineWife]

If I were going to have a hospital birth, I would absolutely insist on having a doula.

[TexasMum]

This is my 4th birth and due to the fact that I will likely be birthing alone (DH is Military) I would love to have a doula. However, here in Chicago, the going rate for a doula is $850 bucks. I got one to come down to $750 as I have no need for breastfeeding help or help bonding with the baby. This ain't my first rodeo. I just wanted some support and not be alone in the delivery room. Back in Dallas where I moved from, the going rate for a well known, highly respected doula, was around $250. I'm just having a hard time coming to terms with separating with $850 dollars when I know I could do all this alone, no problem, but I just want some company. I have no friends or family here, we just moved here and we will be moving again as soon as the baby is born. I have contacted and I am waiting for a reply from a program called Operation Special Delivery that offers doulas pro bono to military wives that fit a certain criteria. I hope I qualify.

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by TexasMum 

I have contacted and I am waiting for a reply from a program called Operation Special Delivery that offers doulas pro bono to military wives that fit a certain criteria. I hope I qualify.

I was going to mention this. This will be my 2nd baby I'll have on my own. My dh will be deployed again. If OSD can't help you, look for a doula in training. I got my doula for free that way. She needed to attend a certain # of births to get her certification so she provided her services to me for free. All I had to do was fill out a form for her afterward to document that she was at my birth.

[tourist.]

Definitely look for a doula in training.  I'm looking for one more birth to attend at no charge before the year is out to gain my certification.  

I want a doula, but I am afraid that I'm going to end up with too many people in my house.  I think I'm going to see if I can do any "training" on my husband, because I honestly think I want him to be that person for me.  If he won't/doesn't want to do it, I'll be getting a doula.

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by tourist. 

I want a doula, but I am afraid that I'm going to end up with too many people in my house.  I think I'm going to see if I can do any "training" on my husband, because I honestly think I want him to be that person for me.  If he won't/doesn't want to do it, I'll be getting a doula.

I wanted a doula with my 2nd hospital birth but decided against it thinking my dh and a girlfriend, who both attended Bradley classes with me, would be enough. They were not.

When I had my 3rd at home I got a doula. I ended up not needing her at all. My midwife and her assistant were enough. My doula ended up just video taping everything because there wasn't anything else for her to do. Home births are so different from hospital births. Most women find they don't need the extra support of a doula because they already have all the freedom they want and their home birth midwives are much more pro-active that any hospital staff.

[tourist.]

Yea, that's why I'm thinking my husband should/could be good.  I did fine during my first labor at home, but really really really could have used some counterpressure on my back.  My midwifes really left me alone until pushing time and by that point I wouldn't have needed a doula anyway, my husband was there and able to do it for me.  

I've attended three hospital births and each one was very different.  The first one, the mom depended on me an incredible amount.  Surprising because she is married and close to her husband - but he was not what she needed during labor.  Second, mom needed me really for the counterpressure and some verbal encouragement - little more.  Third had pre-existing conditions that lead quickly to a c/s so my doula role with her was very abbreviated.  

I guess I would say, if you're leaning towards wanting a doula - do it.  It's always better to have one there and use them less than you expect than it is to be totally without during a difficult labor.  Having dedicated, educated, compassionate labor support can end up being completely priceless.  

[MarineWife]

That is true. It's better to have a doula and not need her/him than to not have one and need one. I think there were two reasons I ended up not needing my doula at my homebirth. First, my labors are pretty easy until the last 2 hours. During those last 2 hours I don't want anyone to touch me or talk to me or anything. I just want to be left alone. Second, I climbed into the birth tub as soon as it was full. Once I was in there, there wasn't much for my doula to do.

My dh was completely useless during my labor. He tried. He attended all the classes. We practiced and went over stuff. When it came down to it, though, he wasn't proactive and assertive enough. Based on that experience, I would not rely on my dh for any kind of practical support during labor. That's just my dh, though. I'm sure there must be men out there who can and do more.

[noahs.mom06]

I would say try to find one as well. A lot of doulas will work with you on price, even ones who've been doing it for awhile. As a doula, I would say that unless you have a very strong friend or family member to advocate and support you, if you are going to be giving birth in the hospital and want it to be a natural experience, you should have a doula. If you have trouble finding one, let me know and I can try to help.

[TexasMum]

Whew! I just got an email from a doula who volunteers with Operation Special Delivery offering to attend my labor and delivery free of charge. I am so relieved on so many levels. Though "experienced" I guess, I still didn't want to be alone. No one should have to be alone while giving birth. Big worry off my chest now.

[noahs.mom06]

Originally Posted by TexasMum 

Whew! I just got an email from a doula who volunteers with Operation Special Delivery offering to attend my labor and delivery free of charge. I am so relieved on so many levels. Though "experienced" I guess, I still didn't want to be alone. No one should have to be alone while giving birth. Big worry off my chest now.

That's wonderful! OSD is such a great organization :)

[DrBrockBaca]

TexasMum, that's great news! I'm very happy for you. I can't imagine being alone during birth, especially in a hospital. 

I've thought about getting a doula (this will be our first baby), but I think I probably won't need one if I have a home birth or use the new birthing center that is opening up next month in Albuquerque because I think the midwives should probably be enough support, along with my husband of course. I definitely want a natural childbirth, so I'm trying to avoid the hospital. I am seeing the doctor now who will be the medical advisor of the new birthing center, but I'm planning to transfer to the birthing center (which is attended by midwives of course) once it opens. DH wants to have a home birth, but we are in a really small rental house right now because we are moving to Boulder in a few months. I just don't think there is room in our house, and it would be a huge hassle to get a birthing tub in our house. 

So as far as the doula goes, I think the only way I will get one is if I end up having to birth in the hospital with the doctor, but I hope that won't happen. Although, I haven't met the two midwives who are opening the birthing center, so I guess I will have to wait and see how supportive I think they would be. 

I read the Birth Partner by Penny Simkim (which I bought for DH), and that book strongly recommends a doula, but DH is incredibly sensitive, intelligent, and involved, so I think as long as the midwife is good, we should be fine without a doula. I definitely don't want to have to pay for anything else I don't need to!

[TexasMum]

My husband is the best doula on earth! He is incredibly hands on, not squeamish, and totally sensitive. You may very well be right, your husband may be all you need! If I knew my husband could for sure be there, I would have no need for a doula, but I'm happy I have one now, so I know I won't be alone. She's also a Hypnodoula and I am doing the Hypnobabies home study so I am really feeling good about that. She's also a 2nd year midwife student.

My births have been natural in the hospital and I have never had a bad hospital experience. Just to change things up, and because I have never had any labor and delivery complications, I was actually interested in a homebirth this time around. I had preeclampsia last pregnancy and "supposedly" gestational diabetes the last two pregnancies and I have been risked out by all the home birth midwives in the area. Oh well. I guess it's weird but I actually like going to the hospital to have my babies. I have always had superb treatment and I really enjoy getting waited on hand and foot. I had all 3 of my children in the same hospital in the same room even but we have moved and this is a whole new hospital. I have heard really good things about it though.