Introducing a lovey? How? When?

[cristeen]

Not sure this is the right forum for this, but for my purposes, night-time is when we need it.

I am beyond touched out. At this point DS can't/won't fall asleep without pinching, twiddling, playing w my breasts/nipples. I put up w it at bedtime, but in the middle of the night it drives me up the wall and i seriously just want to leave. He's still waking 3-5 times/night, and each one requires twiddling. If i protect my nipple and still let him have access to the breast, he screams. If i cover my breasts, he screams. After a few minutes of screaming, he'll be wide awake. He's not BF, so he doesnt need access to them at all times. How can i get him to transfer that attention to something else?

[lyterae]

We introduced one by including it everytime we fed DD or rocked her to sleep. We would cuddle up in the rocking chair and include the lovey tucked in with us. She was around 6 or 7 months when we started trying to include it, at nearly 5 her lovey is still a vital part of our lives.

[SeattleRain]

We also did it the same way as the PP. We just incorperated it into the bedtime routine. I've heard the suggestion that you might sleep with it for a few nights so it has that special mama smell. Whatever you choose, though, make sure you have a few of them (or can acquire more). Kids loose things, especially on plane rides or overnights away from home, so don't use some heirloom bear that theres only one of.

It sounds like YOU have become the lovey, which may be a dangerous proposition because you aren't always available through the night for soothing. If you're not comfortable with him using your nipples and breasts as loveys, you should try setting some boundaries about them. It might be a rough week of screaming, but if you're really bothered by it, it might be worth it. You certainly shouldn't just put him in the crib screaming, but leave him on your lap and say "Those are mama's nipples, we're not going to play with them right now" and give him the lovey to play with instead. My son fingers the ears of his bunny instead of tugging at my neck skin (ugh just thinking back to that makes me cringe) because it just drove me up the wall.

[lyterae]

Originally Posted by SeattleRain 

. My son fingers the ears of his bunny instead of tugging at my neck skin (ugh just thinking back to that makes me cringe) because it just drove me up the wall.

   My daughter has nearly worn off the ears of her cat doing the same thing!

 

[TSomm]

THanks for this post!  I'm trying to do the same thing.  My DD loves fiddling with my fingers, which was fine, but lately it has transitioned to tugging and pinching at the neck skin.  We have an Aiden & Anais blanket that I cut up into four squares and hemmed.  Now I have 3 backup loveys.  If only I could get her to recognize it as a lovey!

[MacKinnon]

With my big two we introduced lovies around a year when I was touched out. We just added them to our routine, tucking them in between them and me and gently sliding those pinching fingers over to the silky. With my new baby, now 5 months, we bought the Aiden & Anais Issi blankies with the satin edges, she loved sucking/chewing on their swaddling wraps, and I suspected this would be a good transitional object to help with her seperation anxiety. We sleep with it at night, and it goes with her to Grandma's for the day. It's made a huge difference in her level of peace at Grandma's!