We also have had a version of this, and my dd is 2 as well.
What has really worked for us is for me to help DH identify things/activities that we know usually distracts dd or makes her happy. For awhile it was bubbles. Then it was anything to do with water. I also had to help DH not use this thing all.the.time but only in times of great distress on dd's part. Doing this helped soften the times when I wasn't around and they got to the edge of the cliff of "If dd goes off, she's NOT calming down, not for a loooong time". I helped DH develop his ways of dealing with her to hopefully not even approach that cliff, but if they got to the edge at least to have last resorts to avoid going over it.
Also, We just instituted really regular intervals when dd and DH are alone. It's at least for a full day on weekends, and usually for a couple hours at night because I work late those nights. OP how often is your dh alone with your dd, and how long are those intervals?
It can be REALLY HARD at first to have these longer stretches, but your dh kinda has to train and prepare for it in terms of doing everything he can to not lose patience. Your dd is going to fight it, and try to lash out at him most likely, but he's got to have a mantra going in his head non-stop like "She's acting 2 but she really does love me. She's acting 2 but she really does love me. She's acting 2 but she really does love me." This can maybe help him stay calmer when she lashes out.
It's kinda like a marathon at first, but in our case more and more dd was comfy and then even happy with dh. Lately, I'll be walking out the door and she'll glance up and say "Bye bye mommy" and give a hug and kiss if I ask for it (I always ask for it!). Or if they're going out, I'll walk her to the door and point out something for her to look at "Ooh look at all the leaves! Ooh look how the car looks wet - can you see yourself in the reflection?" and get her to go out the door and before she knows it dh has scooped her into his car and they're off, usually without a complaint. This morning she woke up grumpy but she even let dh hold her standing next to me while I was making breakfast - usually if grumpy she'd cry until he handed her to me.
Last thing: it really takes work on your dh's part to try try try to remember that this is a phase, but how you both handle it can really affect how long and how bad it lasts, and also some of her views in the future. Much as your dh is really just trying to make a point with "Fine, i don't like you either", that is really going down a bad role in terms of how the relationship may progress and what seeds get planted with dd.
I so relate though. One of the reasons I most want a 2nd child (well aside from just really loving the idea of 2 kids and wanting dd to have a playmate) is to have the chance to do everything I can to encourage that child to be totally Dad-focused! I would love a 2nd child who's like "Where's Daddy? I want Daddy!" all the time, though I know that's a long shot, especially with breastfeeding. But we've already agreed that a 2nd child will be put to bed by daddy (along with dd now) on a regular basis from the beginning, and I'm not going to wait as long as with dd to introduce bottles so dh can feed dc#2 as early as possible.
Last thing, when your dd says "I don't like daddy!", even though I know she's only 2, do you ever go to her and say "Honey, your daddy loves you and is a really great daddy. It hurts him when you say that. It makes him sad." Just something to plant the seed with her that saying that is hurtful. OR, me, when dd is crying/screeching because she wants me or doesn't want daddy, I usually say "Honey, I know you're upset and you want ________, but I just can't give it to you right now. Crying isn't going to change it." and I go on with what I need to do and let her cry. She almost always either calms a few seconds later, or she has a full on fit and then calms. But I let her do it, because that's reality: we can not always give her everything she wants right when she wants it, and I see her increasingly able to handle it better and better the more consistent we are about saying "I hear you, I want you to be happy, but this is all I can do right now. Crying will not change it." It's working better for daddy too.
Good luck!
