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How to manage

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 

I have a husband but he travels so much I'm lucky to see him every other weekend. This means, during the time he's gone I'm stuck at home with 4 kids from 1-10. Two of them are in school and see thier so called father every Weds and every other weekend. I'm worn out from everything. I feel like getting in the car and driving to not turn back. My kids don't care what I do or say, it goes in one ear and out the other. The only time I can get them to listen is if I'm constantly standing over thier shoulder and even then if I ask them to do something simple like a chore, it gets to the point to where I want to pull my hair out and yes, I've yelled and screamed and spanked. We have a chore chart and they do get rewards but I'm at my wits end to keep them from fighting, yelling treating each other like crap and treating me like I'm some door mat. I'm too the point to where I regret being a mom and I'm to the point of just wanting to abandon my family. If I'm needed it's one thing, I understand I have responsibility, but feeling wanted is another. I almost just want to leave to just prove a point to show just how much I really do for them and show them why I feel taken for granted. I feel like I've tried everything, I given rewards and have taken things away. I've done the time out thing among others. I've tried having a family meeting to tell them what I've been feeling and I swear it goes through the ears and I feel that they could give a crap what I have to say. It's tiring. I'm worn and I want out. I have come to the point of sending them to bed early just so I have time to myself. I go to the gym for up to 2 hours during the day. I eat healthy and each one of my kids participate in sports so they are active. They all do pretty well in school except for the one with ADHD. His grades are great but the teacher complains about his behavior all the time and it's the same thing over and over.

 

I guess now that I've vented all that out, I need to know that I'm not the only one and I need to know how other people get through this. 

post #2 of 4

major HUGS

post #3 of 4
There was a time when all families had big support systems. Grandparents lived with their children and helped care for their children's children. Aunts and uncles helped raise kids too. Mothers were not expected to do the job alone, plus clean, cook, do laundry, be a taxi service, have sex with their husband and everything else. Well, things are very different now.

My husband is out of town a lot as well, but I am fortunate enough to have help just about every day with my ONE child . When I think about women like you, I am in awe as to how you do it. I know you are suffering and nothing I can say can really change that. I just want you to know that you are so strong. I don't know what the world would do without strong mothers like you.

Is there any possible way you could get some kind of help either with watching the kids or housework? If money is an issue, maybe you could find a teenager willing to help for a discount rate. I just think you absolutely deserve some time for yourself. With your husband gone all the time you are being asked to do something that is nearly impossible.

Of course you are not alone. Women all over the world are in the same boat. Hugs to you and thank you for putting everything you have into being a mom! hug2.gif
post #4 of 4

big hugs to you! ((HUGS!!))

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