Advanced at Mom's, but not at Dad's? - Page 2

[Smithie]

You can't stop him - but you can get the ball rolling first with the kiddie shrink in the hopes that it will prevent him from seeking out another kind of specialist. There is a pattern here of your DD's father claiming she has medical problems that she turns out not to have. That creeps me right out. My son's head was over 95th percentile for a long time, and he sure didn't have a CT! Going to a bunch of specialists with a healthy child is not normal, or good for the child. 

I'm so sorry that your ex's mental illness wasn't formally recognized by the courts until after the custody proceedings. Perhaps it will eventually be recognized. 

[Emmeline II]

Originally Posted by breezyleigh 

Emme:  Thanks for the suggestion.  A mod already moved it here, so hoping for not yet another move.

 I wasn't suggesting moving the thread, just posting about that aspect of it over there.

[breezyleigh]

Well, I dropped off a copy of the videos at Pediatrics and they are pulling her file for the doctor and going to give both to the doc.  We shall see how it goes.

[breezyleigh]

Interestingly enough, now, apparently DD's daddy is suspended from work for two weeks for his temper... 

[emilysmama]

Originally Posted by AtYourCervices 

Take your child to the doctor and get her tested to rule out Petit Mal seizures. It doesn't sound like that's actually what's going on. She's 20 months (absence seizures are more common as a person gets older) and he's saying these spells last several minutes (typically these kinds of seizures only last a few seconds). It actually sounds like her father is a bit of a hypochondriac. A little information can be a very bad thing.

However, these spells COULD be seizures. One trigger can be the child being over tired. You said yourself that you've noticed your DD having these spells  when she's tired. She could be having more seizures in her father's presence due to environmental triggers. Does he smoke around her or allow others to smoke around her? Does he give her  soda or other beverages that contain caffeine? Does he let her cry it out or is she upset around him to the point of hyperventilation?

Even if she does have epilepsy, that wouldn't mean she's slow in any way. It wouldn't mean she's not advanced. Typically these kinds of seizures have no impact on intelligence.

It's easy for a parent who spends the majority of the time with a child to miss certain signals. A less active parent can be more prone to notice changes and they'll be more willing to suggest possible problems b/c they're not the "primary parent" and it's not their "fault". But it should never be a blame game.

Anyways, suggest the father  record one of your DDs absence spells and take him with to the doctors.

This is exactly what I wanted to say.  Have your ped refer you to a pediatric neurologist, and your dd can have a non-invasive EEG test.  My husband is brilliant and I was considered gifted as a child, and we both have Ph.Ds.  When we were children, he would space out for a couple minutes, and I would space out for a minute or so.  We were both diagnosed with petit mal seizures as children.  We both grew up with a perfectly normal childhood, and we  are perfectly normal adults.  But symptom like this needs to be followed up.  

Even if your ex is usually crazy abusive and hypochondriac, he might actually be right this time, and the issue might be medical, not emotional.  The spacing out for 3 minutes at a time would be enough to motivate me to talk to the pediatrician.   
 

[breezyleigh]

Actually did do that.  It's always when she is tired, but it's not ever been more than a minute, if that, that I've seen.  It's on the video that is with the pediatrician.  I will follow up, but I'm not sure if work will let me off to go.

[BabyBearsMummy]

Actually experiencing the same thing with my nearly 5 year old. Her father believes she is delayed and is going have problems next year with Kindergarten (More then six months away so lots of time to acquire new skills she has not yet mastered) Whenever I share this information with anyone else their mouths drop in shock..  If anything our DD is advanced in some areas my ex is apparently concerned about. She spends her days pointing out numbers, letters, words, etc and is always asking in depth questions about the huge variety of topics that interest her. We even routinely use the Internet to research new topics of interest to her. But then if ex is forcing the issue when DD is not interested her response will be "I can't" or "I don't know". I too have received these responses when our DD is not interested at the moment. The approach of the parent can have a huge effect on the result and their perception of it.

Edited by BabyBearsMummy - 2/16/11 at 4:00pm