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What do you do when you can't calm down

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 

I am a single SAHM of a beautiful barnacle daughter, most days I feel like she has taken root on my arm.   Last night we were up ALL night and again this morning, missing preschool AGAIN.  It is my only breaktime and I am desperate and now I am totally frustrated. My daughter is screaming in her bedroom and I don't know where to go from here.  I don't even want to go up there.  I need to calm down, I can hear her smashing things but I don't trust myself to be in her presence.  WHat do you do when things get intense?

post #2 of 15
Thread Starter 

well, I could now write a dissertation on what you don't do...my next post will be about forgiving myself for being screamy- mom.  

post #3 of 15

I eat something.  It usually means I'm hungry.  And when my ds is being frustrating, it usually means HE's hungry.  I think he takes after me LOL

post #4 of 15

If necessary, I do just what you did: remove myself. Also, I make sure that I give myself some kind of reward when the kids are asleep, whether it's a good book, a bubble bath, or a stupid gossipy show. I also tell myself that the tantrums won't last foverever.


Hang in there!

post #5 of 15

Yes, do eat something. Remove yourself to the bathroom and take a shower. And maybe take a b-vitamin. Hang in there, mama!

post #6 of 15

Remove yourself from the situation and practice deep breathing/meditation.  It really helps me. namaste.gif

post #7 of 15

another vote here for eating something! also, i tend to feel better if i take out my frustratsions physically. i seriously PUNCH my bed. i feel like that is so opposite of what i strive to be like, but sometimes i just want to hit something lol and  i dont want it to be my child. when my ds is screaming and throwing a fit, that is when i first, feed him, then give in and play with him. i will always want "my" time, but he will only be little once.

post #8 of 15

Hide in the bathroom and nibble on my organic choclate stash. Sing. Loudly. Dance silly. yoga. Breathing excersizes. Have a high protein snack.  Rescue Remedy.I swear by Rescue Remedy. ;)

post #9 of 15

Put on some earphones, listen to one angry song really loud.  Then take some deep breaths, stretch, and figure out some way to make peace (cookies & tea, or a bath or story together).  And try to avoid talking about whatever the problem issue was right away with kiddo.


post #10 of 15

Gosh, with 5 kids if I ate every time.....lol!!!

post #11 of 15

That's what I have to do. Just seperate for a couple of moments and breath.

post #12 of 15

Hummmm, don't know your childs age but preschool could mean from 3 to 5 yrs old? Up all night and in a really rotten mood this morning. I would first give the child some ibuprofen or something because I would guess she is in some sort of pain, and that can cause the sweetest child to go nuts.

   I also find heading out of the house can help. If she is in a room where she is safe then you head outside so you really get a bit more distance. Do a little bit of exercise if you can, jump roap, shoot some hoops, run on the spot. Something to get you physically moving will help decrease your stress level. if you're still stressed is there someone you can call or text and say how your normally dd is driving you nuts and being a real ^%#$%$ ? Verbalising always helps me, just because it's sharing how I feel and not being judged.

          I've been there. I've smashed a remote control on a table instead of taking frustration out on ds (ds was in a different room and couldn't see or hear me). I've also kicked a laundry basket which resulted in a hole in a wall which just made me laugh. Cheap thin plasterboard!!


Hope the two of you are feeling better!!!

post #13 of 15
Originally Posted by luvkadcla View Post

Gosh, with 5 kids if I ate every time.....lol!!!

Good point!  Better said,  if you or your dc are having a melt down check to see if either of you is wilting from low blood sugar.

post #14 of 15


Last night we were up ALL night and again this morning, missing preschool AGAIN.


So why were you up all night? The key is probably there. Sleep deprived people get a little nuts.

post #15 of 15

I usually go out on my balcony and take a breath of fresh air.  or i sit really calmly and breathe.  or i lock myself in a room and breathe.  or I make some tea. 

i also try to remember that she's clingy (i also have a barnacle child) because she is unable to communicate a need, and I try to establish what that might be: food, sleep, pain relief, entertainment, exercise, affection... and usually once i've discovered and fulfilled her need, the clingy-ness stops.  and if it doesn't, i remind myself that "this too shall pass" and that it won't always be like this.  because it won't.

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