trying to figure out how much of my story to make public (possible triggers)

[Linda on the move]

I was neglected and abused as a child (real sick sh*t) and have spent much of my adult life healing. Yoga has been part of my healing and I'm now a yoga teacher. For me, yoga was a very important part of reconnecting with my body, which I purposely separated from as a child so I could survive.

In a couple of weeks, I have a meeting with an organization that provides services to sexual assault survivors about getting some yoga classes going there. I've wanted to teach yoga classes for survivors for a long time. This is part of what I feel I am to be doing with my life (if that makes sense). I've been working on writing up my yoga story and explaining the details of how yoga was part of my healing. Right now, the only people who will see this will be the staff, and I'm OK with that.

However, I'm not sure what to do about my story later.

My DDs are 12 and 14, and while they know that my parents were not always kind to me, the reality that my father sexual abused me for years and years, and that my mother knew and did nothing because she feared financial ruin is something I've sheltered them from.

I feel a bit conflicted. On one hand, I think that it's possible that being open about my past could be helpful to other people. At the same time, I think it's possible that being open about my life could be difficult for my children. I always put my kids first.

But they are growing up. May be they are stronger than I realize. May be there is a way to be open with "the world" without it being difficult for my kids. I just don't know.

I'm not sure if I want my "yoga resume" or little blurbs about me on the websites for studios where I teach to say anything about me being a sexual assault survivor or a survivor of child abuse. I'm not sure how public I want to be about all of this.

Thoughts?

[mom2happy]

First I want to say how sorry I am for the childhood you had.

I think your idea is absolutely fantastic. Yoga has done so much for me as well.

I don't know what it's like to have been sexually abused, but I can see what you mean about separation of mind from body to endure abuse.

A yoga class being instructed for the purpose of reuniting someones emotional, spiritual, and physical world sounds very therapeutic in such a non invasive way.

I think your children should definitely know at some point what happened to you.

Telling them would depend on maturity level and vulnerability to peers.

Sometimes you have to think about what kind of a mother you will be if you can't do something you NEED to do.

It sounds like this is a calling for you answer.

What was done to you can.t be secret on the back burner for ever.

[LROM]

I think you're brave and wonderful and awesome for finding this way to help others use a practice that helped you.  Bravo bravo bravo!!!

Seems to me you're asking 2 different questions: 1) how do you handle your story/how much of your story do you share as part of your public identity in offering this instruction, and 2) how do you communicate (if you do at all) and when with your own children about your story, since others will know more than they do if you don't address it with them.

Clearly you have to do whatever you are comfortable with/seems best for you, but here's my advice:

1. I would be up front with those you develop this idea/publicize this idea that you are a survivor.  I don't think anyone needs specific details, they don't even necessarily need to know who the perpetrator was beyond that you suffered sexual abuse for years and really detached from your body to survive, and yoga helped you re-attach and heal.  I think sticking to just that basic info is enough for people to understand that you're not just someone who thought this sounded good but don't know from experience how powerful yoga can really be; you are the real deal, you speak from very personal experience. 

When it comes to classes, students, other yoga teachers you might train to do this, I'd say for publicity (like ads in curriculum mags or in papers or wherever the course/class info would be publicized) that you just say the purpose of the class: helping sexual abuse (or is it all types of abuse?) survivors heal through yoga.  Just say what you're trying to help people do.  In a description of you as an instructor I do NOT think it needs to or should say you're a survivor, because it just doesn't need to.  But I'd hope you could be open with interested parties about the fact that you are if they ask.  Again, you don't have to give details and are probably wise not to - that could be a Pandora's box and could set you up to be sought as a counselor as well, which you may or may not be interested in.

So basically my advice: be up front in developing/pitching the idea that this worked for you and you're excited to offer it to others... but in course descriptions or descriptions of you as a teacher, don't list "survivor".  Then when you start teaching it, I'd definitely be open with intrested students and actual students that you're a survivor.  But focus on how you used yoga to heal, not on your abuse history itself.

2. Kids - I think 12 and 14 is *definitely* old enough to at least introduce the concept of you having suffered specific bad things as a child and that you are so excited and happy that your kids haven't been through it.  I also think the work you're about to take on is inspiring and admirable and if I were in your shoes, I'd want my kids to understand what work i was trying to do, why, and how I was trying to do it.  Not that you'd want them in one of your survivor classes, but do they do yoga, how much do they know about your yoga practice?  If you haven't invited them in, I hope you will, just at least so they can see what yoga means to you.  They may have no interest in doing it themselves... or maybe they will?  But I think they should not only understand a bit more about your specific history and who hurt you and that it was very very difficult for you, but also that you used yoga as a way to become the awesome strong survivor you are today.

I think this will not only increase their understanding and connection with you as a person and what inspires you right now... it will also give them more clear detail about how someone can suffer something unimaginably awful, and still come out a good person, good parent, positive member of society as a result. 

And if I were in your shoes, I'd be even more candid with my kids at that age: I think i would tell them some detail about what happened to me, my age at the time, who the perp was, and how it really was devastating in so many ways... AND what my path was to healing and becoming the mom they know today.  Maybe include things you did to protect them as they were growing up that they weren't aware of.  But that's just me, maybe you aren't ready/don't think they're ready to hear that yet... I dunno, but at least I definitely think you can/should tell them that it was sexual abuse, your father, years, and give them some detail about how you survived and went on to thrive.

What do you think of those approaches?

ETA one more thing: You said a concern is that being open could be hard for your children.  Do you and do they have a relationship with your parents today?  I still absolutely feel like it's important that they know more about who you are and how you got to be you, including the abuse and your mom knowing but not preventing... and important that they be able to ask you questions.  But if they have a relationship withyour parents (either of them or both), I also think you should be ready to help them think through how they approach their grandparents now with this new info.  Your daughters may need a break from seeing them (if they do at all); may even need some extra support to process that their grandparents hurt their mom so much.

But to me none of that is a reason to not tell them.  It's such an important part of life to understand that someone you know and adore can go through hell and still come out on the other side, and how that cna happen.  I think it's a positive to tell them, even if it's hard.  Just be ready to offer support or listen to what supports they'd like as a result.

[VisionaryMom]

Linda, I've thought a lot about this question wrt to my own children. They are now 4 and 6. I have, for various reasons, needed to explain (mostly to my 6YO) why we have extremely limited contact with my family and why I have so many rules while we're there (they're not allowed alone anywhere except with DH, me, or my sister). I've basically put it in a "they did things to hurt me when I was a child." Have you expressed these thoughts to your children at all? My idea is that those comments are laying the groundwork for what I will tell them later about my childhood. If you've not done that, then I think starting now to talk gently about having experienced hurts & abuse would be best.

My plan, fwiw, is to ease into the real subject. I will not ever tell them many things that happened to me. I will never tell anyone. Why? Others don't need to know the horrors that the details provide. Even my DH doesn't know a lot of details because I could tell that the things I did tell him burdened him. He hurt for me, and I don't want my children to experience that, too. I think the best way to approach things is to talk to them unless it seems to be uncomfortable and then stop there. Maybe they eventually get the whole story, and maybe they don't. I think it's important to balance your need/desire to tell them with their ability to know and process everything.

I have identified fairly publicly in our current community as a child abuse survivor. It's been cathartic for me in many ways, and it's opened up conversations with people about abuse. I hope that I've been able to help others. I will caution, though, that it's easy for that to become your identity. People want to talk to you about abuse all.the.time. There are a couple of people I avoid because they're always pushing to talk about sexual assault & child abuse, and I just can't always deal with it. (They're talking about politics, not their lives.) When we move next year, I have decided that I will not tell people that I'm a child abuse survivor. I may change my mind eventually, but I really want to be ME and not "a survivor" for a while.

[Linda on the move]

Thanks for the comments!  This is really helpful stuff!

Originally Posted by mom2happy 

I think your children should definitely know at some point what happened to you.

Telling them would depend on maturity level and vulnerability to peers.

..

What was done to you can.t be secret on the back burner for ever.

I think you're right. Your post helped me pivot from whether or not to tell them, but to *when* to tell them, and how much to tell.

My 14 year old is a lot more mature than my 12 year old. Some days, my 12 year seems less mature than she was a year ago. She's going through some stuff. Your post helped me think about where they are *now* and what is appropriate *now*, realizing that answer will change over time.

Originally Posted by LROM 

Seems to me you're asking 2 different questions: 1) how do you handle your story/how much of your story do you share as part of your public identity in offering this instruction, and 2) how do you communicate (if you do at all) and when with your own children about your story, since others will know more than they do if you don't address it with them.

Clearly you have to do whatever you are comfortable with/seems best for you, but here's my advice:

1. I would be up front with those you develop this idea/publicize this idea that you are a survivor.  I don't think anyone needs specific details, they don't even necessarily need to know who the perpetrator was beyond that you suffered sexual abuse for years and really detached from your body to survive, and yoga helped you re-attach and heal.  I think sticking to just that basic info is enough for people to understand that you're not just someone who thought this sounded good but don't know from experience how powerful yoga can really be; you are the real deal, you speak from very personal experience. 

.....

ETA one more thing: You said a concern is that being open could be hard for your children.  Do you and do they have a relationship with your parents today?  I still absolutely feel like it's important that they know more about who you are and how you got to be you, including the abuse and your mom knowing but not preventing... and important that they be able to ask you questions.

Because of the internet, anything I make pubic about myself my children will most likely eventually find out, only they may find out from a different source. The question of how up front to be came up for me when I was writing a one page summary of my own story and explaining *why* yoga is so powerful for healing a disconnect between body and our true selves. I'm having trouble talking about that without being direct. (I'll post some writings later)

My kids do know my parents. My parents are still married and they live on the other side of the country. We see them about once a year. I have a distant but polite relationship with my father, and my kids know that his behavior when I was a child was such that I do not trust him now -- that they can enjoy being around Grandpa and us going out to dinner, but they've never been allowed to spend the night in his house, go anywhere alone with him, etc.

I know that my father deeply regrets his actions, but I still don't trust him. He is a failed human being. He is also a frail old man at this point.

My mother was recently here for a visit, and it amazes me how much denial she still lives in. My kids adore her. She takes them shopping and buys them things.

My kids know that my parents weren't kind to me, but they don't have any idea of the scope. Having been raised with only GD, to my kids -- spanking is unthinkable. My kids don't know that the abuse was *sexual.*  I think it's one thing to know that your mother was hit, but to know that she was raped...... by grandpa............

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Originally Posted by VisionaryMom 

 Others don't need to know the horrors that the details provide. Even my DH doesn't know a lot of details because I could tell that the things I did tell him burdened him. ....

I have identified fairly publicly in our current community as a child abuse survivor. It's been cathartic for me in many ways, and it's opened up conversations with people about abuse. I hope that I've been able to help others. I will caution, though, that it's easy for that to become your identity. People want to talk to you about abuse all.the.time. There are a couple of people I avoid because they're always pushing to talk about sexual assault & child abuse, and I just can't always deal with it. (They're talking about politics, not their lives.) When we move next year, I have decided that I will not tell people that I'm a child abuse survivor. I may change my mind eventually, but I really want to be ME and not "a survivor" for a while.

You've put into words something that has been on my mind. I've talked about the details of what happened to me in group therapy for survivors, in private counseling, and most of the details my DH knows. Even with my friends who know, I don't talk about it because I feel it is inappropriate to burden people with that information.

Yet, at this point, I feel willing to be a little more open with other survivors because I do feel that I have something to offer that could help bring a feeling of relief.

And I don't want it to be my identity. I'm just me. And I've worked really hard over the years to get to the point of being OK being me. I'm not wanting to go backwards.

Here is an except from what I was writing about my yoga story:

When I was a child, my father violently, emotionally, and sexually abused me, and my mother knew but did nothing because of her fear of financial ruin. Yoga is an important part of my healing from that abuse, a way of connecting to my body after years of working at disconnecting, a path to being able to sit quietly with myself.

As a child, I coped by repeatedly telling myself, “My body isn’t me. The Real Me is deep inside where nobody can ever get to it, nobody can ever hurt it. My body isn’t me.” I used to try to imagine where The Real Me was located. I knew it wasn’t in my head. My head got hit a lot and that never seemed like a safe place to keep anything. I never thought that my thoughts were the real me – they were too out of control, too dark. I knew there was something  else.

 I decided that The Real Me must reside somewhere near my heart. That seemed the safest, the most tucked away, protected part of me. I knew my heart was a muscle that pumped blood, but I felt sure that near that spot was a small place where The Real Me resided, and that it was possible to keep that tiny spot safe. Sometimes when my father was abusing me, I imagined encasing The Real Me in stone: layer after layer of stone to keep some small part of me safe and whole.

When I had been practicing yoga for awhile and started to learn the philosophy behind it, I was surprised to find parallels between the yogic view and my own intuitive feelings as a child. In yogic teachings, the true self, or Atman, resides near the heart. Getting in touch with and then abiding in that part of ourselves in the goal. The difference lies in seeing the body as the tool, the mechanism to reach that peace. The irony for me in yoga is that by fully inhabiting our bodies, we are able to reside in our true selves. Rather than cutting off from our bodies, we do the opposite and embrace them, and thereby access the highest part of ourselves, or, as I put it as a child, The Real Me.

This isn't done yet. I still doesn't explain exactly what I want it to.

[goldenwillow]

Linda,

I commend you for having the desire to help yourself and other survivors and I thank you for sharing.  I have similar experiences from my childhood and share a close route in regards to healing methods. 

I agree with VisionaryMom about it becoming your ID.  For me, it is a big part of who I am and who I have become, but not everyone knows all the details.  Well.... in therapy of course and a few in my early days on drunken nights.  I have found, when I meet another with similar experiences... I just seem to know that they have had pain before they talk about it, connected.  I bet others will be drawn to your class for similar reasons without all the details. 

The posts here are really fantastic, well thought out and written and say points that I was thinking and I support them. 

Your yoga story...  it is written very well too.  I only suggest starting with the positive first.  "Yoga is an important part of my healing..."  then to why.  That way you could possibly connect with others that didn't have that "type" of situation.  Folks do not connect with their bodies for many reasons. 

I see you are pretty open with all the details of your abuse.  I have found, (only my experience)  sometimes saying a lot pushes folks away mainly because they are not ready for it even if they have sought your class.  Does that make sense?  That would have been me early in my healing.  Man... I wish I would have found a class like yours early on.

I too have talked about my abuse with others in similar settings and felt I have burdened them in some way.  I don't want pity because I don't pity myself, I just wanted and still want to learn.... double edged sword, no doubt.  I have regretted telling some folks, mainly women, but not all.  I am leery of telling too much anymore but will talk if prompted respectfully. 

My DS is 18 months and I have thought of how I would one day explain my abuse to him, the thoughts here are very helpful. 

I appreciate you posting outside the survivors forum.  I have been working my way to 500 posts to join.. which was my real motivation for posting on MDC. 

Thank you,

Andrea Mae

[mouso]

What a wonderful thing to be doing! And I'm so glad yoga has helped you.

I  was not abused by a member of my family, although I did suffer some sexual abuse as a child, but my mother was abused by her dad as you were for years. I found out at around 16, this was due to her basically breaking down. They did think it best to tell us and, really, it explained a lot in terms of a lot of areas of life. I was totally able to deal with it at that age and think I would have been able to at a younger age such as 14 too. 

As long as you're honest and open and there to answer any questions I think they will be fine and glad you told them. It may be strange for them to see your parents afterwards, though. You might have to allow them to choose not to. My mom's dad contacted me and my brother when I was about 19 and tried to tell us he wanted to be our grandpa and we would get 10K each when he died if we called him grandpa and came to visit. I was glad I knew and wrote him a long letter telling him no way. My mother actually left it up to us to decide on contact but there was no real decision to be made in my mind, especially as a survivor of abuse. 

Anyway, don't know that that was helpful but just my experience finding out and how it made me think as a young woman. Peace to you and yours. 

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by Xantho 

Your yoga story...  it is written very well too.  I only suggest starting with the positive first.  "Yoga is an important part of my healing..."  then to why.  That way you could possibly connect with others that didn't have that "type" of situation.  Folks do not connect with their bodies for many reasons. 

I see you are pretty open with all the details of your abuse.  I have found, (only my experience)  sometimes saying a lot pushes folks away mainly because they are not ready for it even if they have sought your class.  Does that make sense?  That would have been me early in my healing.  Man... I wish I would have found a class like yours early on.

I too have talked about my abuse with others in similar settings and felt I have burdened them in some way.  I don't want pity because I don't pity myself, I just wanted and still want to learn.... double edged sword, no doubt.  I have regretted telling some folks, mainly women, but not all.  I am leery of telling too much anymore but will talk if prompted respectfully. 

Thanks for the suggestion! I like it, and I also like the idea of re-phrasing some stuff to make it more about dissconnecting from the body for any reason.

My Yoga Story is being written for the eyes of the administration at the center to counter sexually assault as part of talking about getting the classes going. I'm not writing it for the people who would be in the class. Their client base includes both people who were abused as children and people who were assaulted as adults, one-time incidents and patterns. I'm thinking of opening the actual yoga classes with something really simple like:

"Welcome to Yoga for Survivors. My name is Linda, and I'm a survivor, too."

I think that for some people, esp early on in their healing, there can be a tendency to compare stories.... to feel that what happened to them wasn't as bad as what happened to someone else (and therefore they shouldn't feel as messed up as they do) or to feel that what happened to them was so much worse (so no one else can understand their pain). I'd like to steer clear of all that with my yoga students. I think those are issues for talk therapy, not yoga.

I don't feel that I'm being open about the details of the abuse at all. I'm being open about how I dealt with it as a child, but not about what actually happened.

I also don't want pity. My life is what it is, and in many ways I'm very, very blessed. I've done my work in counseling, and I've wrestled with my demons as they have shown their faces.

Originally Posted by mouso 

I  was not abused by a member of my family, although I did suffer some sexual abuse as a child, but my mother was abused by her dad as you were for years. I found out at around 16, this was due to her basically breaking down. They did think it best to tell us and, really, it explained a lot in terms of a lot of areas of life. I was totally able to deal with it at that age and think I would have been able to at a younger age such as 14 too. 

As long as you're honest and open and there to answer any questions I think they will be fine and glad you told them. It may be strange for them to see your parents afterwards, though.

thank you for sharing! I'm sorry about your mom. I've had really wonderful support as my child have been growing up, and I stay active with a therapist. Even though I did all the work I could when I was in my 20's, I found that some issues didn't arise until my kids were the ages I was when certain things happened. One of my DDs looks a lot like me, and sometimes I would just look at her and realize how very, very young I had been, and it would hit me all over again.

I really can't imagine what it was like for women of previous generations who didn't have support to recover.

[goldenwillow]

Gotcha... I"m sorry, I didn't see it was for the administrative folks.  If you are cozy with them you are good to go.  Also.. I hear you on the detail part.  I have been burned by folks in a "work place" knowing in my early 20s and guess I just went down that road when posting and I did not mean you were looking for pity.. just how I feel about those situations for myself :)

I too am understanding a new phase of all of my past and you nailed that in your comment about seeing your children's faces... man.. it is a life long process isn't it. 

Good luck to you, I am happy you are turning your pain into something positive for others.  Good job!

Oh... and I wanted to say I started my first yoga class a few weeks back and really dig it, going twice a week for now.  Fractured my neck a few years ago MVA and it has helped a ton!

[LROM]

So where do you think you'll go with this as far as whether you tell your kids and if so, how much?  You don't have to answer that, but I'm really interested if you do feel like sharing.

No matter what, I wish you the best and commend you again for doing something truly awesome.  I hope and believe many many people will find greater peace and strength and their "Real Selves" through this if you get to do it.

[Linda on the move]

I'm not going to tell my kids too much more right now, mostly because I don't feel my 12 year old is ready and I don't want my 14 year old to need to keep a secret. If the classes work out, I'll tell them a little more, but keep it vague, and mostly make sure that I make an opening for them to ask me any questions they want to. I'll just go at their pace. There's nothing about this that *I* need them to know, but rather I'll be open with them to the extent that is helpful to them.

I think I do want a small statement as part of my yoga bio, may be just saying that I survived a violent crime and that yoga was part of my healing process. I'm wanting to be open enough to create a safe space for others, without getting into gory details.

I'm also debating if I want my yoga bio to include the fact that I started doing yoga when I was really overweight (like morbidly obese). But that's another story!

I think I'm a very unlikely yoga teacher.  But I really want to teach classes for people who might not be comfortable in another class. After I get my survivor classes going (which I feel will happen, if not with the agency I'm talking to, then someplace else) I want to get some classes going for plus sized women!

[IndigoKoi]

I think I'm a very unlikely yoga teacher.  But I really want to teach classes for people who might not be comfortable in another class. After I get my survivor classes going (which I feel will happen, if not with the agency I'm talking to, then someplace else) I want to get some classes going for plus sized women!

Often times the most unlikely leaders/teachers/heros etc.  are the one's that end up being the greatest!!!

I'm so sorry that you have endured such terrible abuse in your life, but I admire your desire to use your experiences and healing process to help others.
 

[Koalamom]

My brothers were kept in the dark about serious stuff that went on in my family and one just turned 19.  I told him what went on, and he wishes he wsn't kept secret from him.  My brother could be some stangers kid.

Just a warning as my grandparents hurt my mother.  I disowned my grandmother when I was a teen.  So just be prepared for something like that.

Keeping secrets aren't always good.  Be a proud mom that you are a person of growth.  I agree about not letting what happened take over you with all this process.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by bluebirdmama1 

 My brother could be some stangers kid.

What do you mean?

[Climbing Rose]

DH and I also come from very abusive homes. I know that for me, it was when I started to be completely truthful that I started to heal. I stopped sugar-coated everything and was just *honest.* It was amazing. And really, I was shocked by what a lot of people already knew! They were just keeping up a front like I was. I can't stress enough how much that helped me! Even just to the tiniest little things. So you might even be surprised by what your DD's already know, from being around family and who knows what. We live 2000 miles away now, so people here don't relate to knowing my mom anymore, but I am still honest when it comes up and I am always glad. (I am brief and matter-of-fact, but no pretending it is what it isn't, yk?) It makes me think of Jesus saying that the truth will set us free! We have also told some of our children age-appropriate information, from a younger age than yours are. This was because in case (God Forbid) something happened to DH and I, and our wills were not respected, I couldn't bear to not have given my children the basic information to keep themselves safe from certain people. I didn't share unnecessarily graphic things, and in come cases I just had to say I couldn't share more until they were older, but I told them enough to know that some people they know are not safe and we do not ever ever go with that person alone, etc. Also, I think at some point, it would make my DC feel weird that they didn't know sooner. I didn't want to 'dump' it all on them at once at 18 or something. I think it's like learning about how the baby gets in the lady's tummy. IMO, it's easier to explain it to a little kid on a little kid level, and add more info as they grow and ask, as opposed to wait until they are teenagers and shock and overload them. Just my opinion! ((((hugs)))) to you!

[Koalamom]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move 

Originally Posted by bluebirdmama1 

 My brother could be some stangers kid.

What do you mean?

I wasn't trying to be graphic or anything, but was saying that my mother slept around alot and could have gotten pregnant from some guy she met at the time.

[goldenwillow]

I'm also debating if I want my yoga bio to include the fact that I started doing yoga when I was really overweight (like morbidly obese). But that's another story!

I think I'm a very unlikely yoga teacher.  But I really want to teach classes for people who might not be comfortable in another class. After I get my survivor classes going (which I feel will happen, if not with the agency I'm talking to, then someplace else) I want to get some classes going for plus sized women!

WOW!  Myself included on the weight issue.  I am down 147lbs from my healing.  I think stating that in your bio is beneficial. 
 

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by Xantho 

I'm also debating if I want my yoga bio to include the fact that I started doing yoga when I was really overweight (like morbidly obese). But that's another story!

I think I'm a very unlikely yoga teacher.  But I really want to teach classes for people who might not be comfortable in another class. After I get my survivor classes going (which I feel will happen, if not with the agency I'm talking to, then someplace else) I want to get some classes going for plus sized women!

WOW!  Myself included on the weight issue.  I am down 147lbs from my healing.  I think stating that in your bio is beneficial. 
 

I've been playing around with how I want to word this for general consumption (what I would feel comfortable with on a web page with my name, photo, and times and location of the classes I teach.  This is how it reads so far:

I was the victim of a violent crime, and then I put on a lot of weight as a shield. I started practicing yoga when I was very overweight. Yoga has been part of my healing process of making peace with being in my body. Yoga for me has been a path of radical acceptance, both of my body and of the circumstances of my life. Yoga made it possible for me to drop my heavy shield. This process has left me with a gentleness toward myself and others, and I teach yoga as an act of gentleness towards one's self.

I think it's getting close to what I want it to say. On one hand, I think that that the fact that I'm a survivor and former obese person could help people know what I'm like -- and that my classes are A Safe Space. They are not about how bendy you can get. At the same time, it doesn't reveal any details that feel too personal. It doesn't leave me feeling exposed.

[Climbing Rose]

I think everything you have written sounds really good. It definitely gives the information without being too personal. You are really good with words!

[goldenwillow]

I've been playing around with how I want to word this for general consumption (what I would feel comfortable with on a web page with my name, photo, and times and location of the classes I teach.  This is how it reads so far:

I was the victim of a violent crime, and then I put on a lot of weight as a shield. I started practicing yoga when I was very overweight. Yoga has been part of my healing process of making peace with being in my body. Yoga for me has been a path of radical acceptance, both of my body and of the circumstances of my life. Yoga made it possible for me to drop my heavy shield. This process has left me with a gentleness toward myself and others, and I teach yoga as an act of gentleness towards one's self.

I think it's getting close to what I want it to say. On one hand, I think that that the fact that I'm a survivor and former obese person could help people know what I'm like -- and that my classes are A Safe Space. They are not about how bendy you can get. At the same time, it doesn't reveal any details that feel too personal. It doesn't leave me feeling exposed.

I dig it.  Sounds great!  A "safe place " is a great way to express they can be comfortable for sure.