I've been so angry lately and directing that anger to the wrong people!

[busymama77]

I'm swamped at work and at the same time trying to look for something new.  My YDS had back to back ear infections a few weeks back and that stressed me out, my ODS has a tendency to really push my buttons by talking back, not listening to me the first time, disobeying instructions practically on purpose.  DH and I haven't been out together in weeks because he's been sick, or I've been sick, or we had a birthday party at the house, he had work plans, etc., etc., 

But I really hate the fact that DH has noticed how 'angry' I've been.  Just shooting off at the drop of a hat if ODS doesn't put his dishes in the sink like I asked.  Ya know, little things like this.  LITTLE things. Am I overworked and underappreciated?  I don't usually have that mentality, but maybe it's just built up stress and work that is overwhelming me that I don't know how to respond to the things that my ODS does.  He cries when I yell and that makes me feel awful.  What can I do to re-direct this anger or make it not happen at all??

I'm going away next weekend...just me, myself and I for a couple of days to our family condo 2 hours away.  DH suggested it.  It'll be nice, relaxing, and quiet.  I can just worry about 'me' for a change and not my family, my parents, my inlaws, my crappy job, etc.,

But thay may not be enough...but it's a start.  Do you think parenting therapy is needed? 

[crunchy_mommy]

I don't know... I have similar issues & I swear most of it is due to working a job I absolutely hate. It's wearing away at my soul!!

 

One thing that helps me lately is working out -- I had a hard time getting started, finding time, getting motivated, etc. so I ended up signing up for an exercise class at my Parks & Rec dept. which was very affordable ($20 for several months of classes) -- not my first choice of activities & we technically still couldn't afford it but it helps me commit to taking that time to myself, to work out. I'm much happier on the days I workout!

 

Another thing that helps is giving myself zone-out time -- which may be becoming a little too... addictive I guess... but my way of zoning out is spending 5-15 mins on the computer when I feel like I'm about to lose it. There are probably much better ways but this is what's working for me right now.

 

I try hard to 'leave work at work' but since I WAH it's kind of hard! If you have a commute, use that time to decompress. If you need to (and it's logistically possible), stop somewhere on your way home from work -- coffeehouse, library, gym, wherever you think you'll be able to take a few minutes to yourself to forget about work...

 

That's all I got at the moment, hopefully someone has some more ideas...

[busymama77]

Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy 

I don't know... I have similar issues & I swear most of it is due to working a job I absolutely hate. It's wearing away at my soul!!

 

One thing that helps me lately is working out -- I had a hard time getting started, finding time, getting motivated, etc. so I ended up signing up for an exercise class at my Parks & Rec dept. which was very affordable ($20 for several months of classes) -- not my first choice of activities & we technically still couldn't afford it but it helps me commit to taking that time to myself, to work out. I'm much happier on the days I workout!

 

Another thing that helps is giving myself zone-out time -- which may be becoming a little too... addictive I guess... but my way of zoning out is spending 5-15 mins on the computer when I feel like I'm about to lose it. There are probably much better ways but this is what's working for me right now.

 

I try hard to 'leave work at work' but since I WAH it's kind of hard! If you have a commute, use that time to decompress. If you need to (and it's logistically possible), stop somewhere on your way home from work -- coffeehouse, library, gym, wherever you think you'll be able to take a few minutes to yourself to forget about work...

 

That's all I got at the moment, hopefully someone has some more ideas...

 Thank you for your ideas. 

I think a lot of stems from the fact that I'm at a dead end job that I'm desparately trying to move out of and on to something better that it's draining my 'fun' emotion, if you will.  I eye roll just about everything that is asked of me to do here - not in front of them, of course - because it's so beneath me and I'm burnt out. 

I do workout - 2 to 3 days a week and that has been my alone time and by the time I get home, it's dinner, bath and the whole evening routine. 

My commute home from the gym is another some alone time but thoughts of what I need to do when I get home or this upcoming weekend....it's about a 35 to 40 minute commute. 

And my work is nothing that I bring home with me.  Sure, there are times when they text me after hours asking a question, but that's it.  Not a big deal at all. I just find what I do to be a waste of my time and skills and like I said, it's burning me out. 

Maybe once I find something that makes me happy...that really let's me show my skills...then maybe that will be one less thing for me to stress/worry about.

I'm not like this ALL of the time, but lately, I have been finding myself raising my voice a lot more than I should and it's unacceptable.

[crunchy_mommy]

Wow I could have written a lot of that -- those are almost exactly the same issues I have with my job, right down the the eye-rolling. It's so annoying/discouraging/uninspiring to be doing work so totally beneath you. If I'm going to do something 'beneath me' I'd rather go work in a different industry that didn't cause me as much stress...

So I really feel where you're coming from, and I hope we can both find ways to not take out our anger at home. I'm banking on my DH finding a new job so I can quit this one... I'm not sure I'll ever be able to be happy as long as I'm continuing to work in this job...

[XanaduMama]

This is totally me, too. I *know* I'm unreasonably irritable, angry, yell too much, and all the rest. I have a stressful job as well (though I do enjoy it), don't have enough time to do it, never get to work out or do a single thing for myself. I've wondered whether I might be depressed and think sometimes about getting a prescription for Prozac or something--though I haven't, since I don't have time to go to the doctor :)

I also think it might partially be physiological. I know something wacky is going on with my hormones--I have had really short cycles the last 2 years or so, and other weird cycle-related symptoms. A few months ago I started taking Vitex again, and it's helped SO much with everything, including my moods (though hasn't solved it). I wonder sometimes about low thyroid, too. Might be worth getting a checkup and having some bloods run, just to rule out any physical reasons?

Otherwise--yeah. I feel your pain.

[intentionalmama]

I think a good parenting group or class or therapy could be good.  It can really help give a fresh perspective that may be very helpful when you are feeling so stressed.  I also think it is good that you are doing workouts. What I hear from your post is a real unhappiness with a part of your life which seems to be stemming from your job.  If you are open to it;  I am wondering if there is a way for your to do some kind of meditation group or a spiritual direction type of group or 1 and 1 counselling.  Something like this may help you focus more on the bigger picture.  What gives you life, seeing the meaning in what you are doing, helping you feel more connected and grounded. You know something that helps feed your soul. I think that life can sometimes get so busy, that what can be helpful is for us to actually slow down, breathe, and connect with our source.